I'd like feedback on my Hub: 23 Things to do with Avocados!

1. 65

   Brie Hoffmanposted 9 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub 23 Things to do with Avocados!. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 82

      theraggededgeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Brie,
      
      My suggestions are:
      
      Lose the exclamation marks. They look unprofessional unless used after actual exclamations, such as 'Wow!' or 'et voila!'
      
      Where you suggest recipes, such as the shake, actually include the recipe. Many people can't be bothered to watch a video, especially if they have a slow internet connection. The hub looks 'thin' so more words = good.
      
      Add your own images of the recipes and suggestions then it will look as though you've actually tried them rather than simply done a Google search and curated a few tips.
      
      Hope that helps

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      1. 65

         Brie Hoffmanposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks

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   2. 80

      NatashaLposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I'm looking at this Hub, and here's what stands out to me:
      
      On the positive side, you did try to include a photograph that you took yourself.  The tips you offer are interesting.  You also write with a friendly tone.
      
      Unfortunately, however, I think this Hub has a lot of room for improvement.
      
      The first thing I noticed when I opened your Hub is the top photograph with the red text.  The text looks blurry and doesn't add to the picture.  I think the photograph could stand alone with an appropriate caption.
      
      The next concern I have is the first paragraph, which could be more succinct.  The first paragraph (or what journalists call the lede) should give the reader an idea of what they can expect to learn in your Hub.
      
      I would limit the use of exclamation points, which come across as shouting.  Strong material will elicit interest and excitement on its own.
      
      Throughout this Hub, you make statements but then don't cite authoritative sources to back those statements up.  Who says that avocados are better for you than olive oil?  How are avocados better for us? Are they more heart healthy?  The American Heart Association would have data you could cite.  I know that avocados have omega-3 fatty acids, but I don't see this common knowledge in your Hub.  Who says that pear-shaped avocados are better than others?  The California Avocado Association?  Unless you have extensively studied avocados, you need to cite your sources.  "According to the American Heart Association, a serving of avocado contains [X amount of] heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids," would be an example of what I mean.  Then in your bottom links, you'd include a link to the AHA.
      
      The part before your list is not easy to follow.  Although you use paragraphing, subtitles would also help in informing the reader when you're switching gears.  Switching from nutrition information to caring for avocados is a pretty abrupt change that needs some warning.  Furthermore, much of the introductory part would benefit from some careful proofreading.  Take this excerpt (note the parts I've made bold.)
      
      "Avocados have absolutely no cholesterol are is rich in protein and fat. Also, avocado oil has a higher smoke rate than olive oil and some say it's better for you as well. A medium sized avocado is approximately 300 calories. There is 25 grams of fat in a whole avocado." 
      
      Check your Hub for run-on sentences.  That's the most noticeable problem I see with the grammar and mechanics here.
      
      The number of links in this Hub is overwhelming.  I should be able to find most of the information you're talking about on your Hub, especially the recipes, without needing to go all over the Internet.  Links are generally better for those who want more information.
      
      Why will my skin feel refreshed if I take suggestion #1?  You haven't explained why avocado is good for the skin.  ("Face mask" is not hyphenated.)
      
      #2:  Do I just cut an avocado in half and rub it on myself?  If not, how do I use an avocado as a natural lotion? 
      
      #3:  Again, why is avocado good for the hair?  (I know, because I have dry hair and use shampoo with avocado oil in it.)  A reputable health and nutrition site should have information you can cite.
      
      #5:  How much avocado should be added to baby food?
      
      #6:  Chocolate Mousse, not Mouse. 
      
      #10-11:  If you haven't tried it, you shouldn't recommend it to others.  Instead, add a link to these recipes at the bottom
      
      #12:  What is the nutritional benefit of trying this avocado sauce instead of mayonnaise?  Leave out opinion statements and stick to verifiable facts whenever possible.
      
      #13:  "Ice cream" is not hyphenated.
      
      #14:  Why is avocado mayonnaise good for those who can't eat gluten? 
      
      #18:  Homemade, not home-made. 
      
      I think it would be easier to follow this Hub if you broke the uses into categories and grouped them like that.  So instead of just listing 23 items in no order, you'd have a subtitle with "Using Avocados in Recipes," for example.
      
      I hope this helps.  It seems that I've said a lot, but I think this can be a helpful hub with some TLC.
      
      Good luck!

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2. 98

   DrMark1961posted 9 years ago

   Hi Brie, if I was the owner of this site I would not be pleased with this hub either. There are many, many hubs with recipes for avocados and all of those links could be going back to this site, not other recipe sites that do not contribute to HP revenue.
   (Type avocado into the search bar at the top of this page and take a look at all of the hubs on this type of food.)
   Also, I think you should review HP´s new standards on Amazon products. When adding an Amazon capsule, it should be a product that you have used, and include some text about how it is related to the article. A book about avocados, with material that should be contained in the hub, probably does not cut it.

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