I'd like feedback on my Hub: Does Hate Contribute to Society's Structure, Does i

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   Kenneth Alexanderposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Does Hate Contribute to Society's Structure, Does it (also) Make the World Go Around? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      There are several issues with your hub.
      
      1. The title is much too long. A title should represent the content of the article and consist of searchable keywords.
      
      2. You are attempting to set the hub up as a discussion. This may work but is unlikely to unless you can attract enough traffic. Hubpages is a magazine site. I would remove references to 'the moderator' and 'discussion'. If you get enough comments then you can reintroduce all that later.
      
      3. Are you writing to the title? Read it again... your hub is about divisions between black and white, not about the structure of society. You may want to rethink the title completely.
      
      4. Beware of gobbledegook (nonsense). For example, "The problem White people have is with their own White Government as well as with each other because Black Folks have no control over affairs of White people." That makes no sense at all.
      
      Here's another, "Purposeful hate. Black Folks, if you hate America, that's okay; if you hate White people, that's okay too because your argument(s) are valid.
      Unless hate. White Foks, if you hate the American Government, that's alright because the government has failed you..."
      
      5. Capitalization. See the above sentence. White and black should be lower case.
      
      6. While I understand your frustration, articles like this only underline division instead of bringing people together. Any time, there is 'us and them', black and white', 'this principle vs that principle', hate and love', there is division. Do you want to be someone who promulgates hatred, or someone who uplifts and educates?
      
      7. Paste your text into an online grammar checker (Grammarly and Hemingway are two suggestions) as there are many grammatical inaccuracies.
      
      8. Don't copy and paste from other websites, such as the BBC. That is called plagiarism and is illegal. HubPages will never sanction plagiarized content. You can quote small 'bites', with a citation, but not whole sections to pass off as your own work as you are doing at the end of the hub.
      
      9. Remove the links temporarily. Add them back in later, one at a time.
      
      This article needs a lot of work, but you can do it, and perhaps make it useful and informative, rather than a cauldron of hatred. Good luck.

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   melbelposted 7 years ago

   I'm not sure the hub lives up to the title. It seems more of a rant than a piece of the structure of society. I recommend putting together an outline of what you want to say and then rewrite sections of the article using the outline.
   
   Also, I would shorten the title.

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   Kenneth Alexanderposted 7 years ago

   Thanks for the feedback, I do appreciate the tips!
   
   I agree, the title could be shortened and still reflect my ultimate thought.  However, 'social structure' - the pattern of relations between large social groups, in this article the "structure of social network ties between individuals or organizations" being 'hate.' 
   
   The article is meant as a question to promote a discussion about hate, not only among race but of class.  I shall rephrase some paragraphs for clarity.  In capitalization, I attempting to show respect in the identity of Whites and Blacks. 
   
   Plagiarism, giving credit to the source(s) is serious business, can I paraphrase?
   
   The article is not meant to underline hate but rather to question it's reasonableness. 
   
   Please response.
   
   Thank you

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      melbelposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      What is this heading asking? I don't understand it: "Why like that you may ask yourself?"

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         Kenneth Alexanderposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks, Melbel, it is the 'bottom line' of the article; which is "why a discussion with blacks about whites and discussion with whites about whites," that is, white supremacy targeting blacks as the culprits of white oppression instead of the American government as culprits of white oppression.  Indicating ethnocentricism and xenophobia as whites people.

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            melbelposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            I'm just saying that grammatically the question is very hard to read.

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               Kenneth Alexanderposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               It's pop culture thing, Melbel.

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