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Request for inputs for improving Hub

  1. srsddn profile image92
    srsddnposted 10 months ago

    I have been advised to address the issue of 'spelling/grammar' in my already published Hub:
    http://hubpages.com/animals/Birds-of-Iceland for moving it to Owlcation. It would be a great help if Hubbers give me some feedback on that, please.

    1. lobobrandon profile image90
      lobobrandonposted 10 months agoin reply to this

      The link you provided has a comma in it.

      http://hubpages.com/animals/Birds-of-Iceland works fine. Just so others can read it.

      1. srsddn profile image92
        srsddnposted 10 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks, lobobrandon. I have made the correction.

    2. theraggededge profile image100
      theraggededgeposted 10 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      Read your text out loud. Better yet, print it first, then read it. There are some awkward sentences there and I spotted at least one missing 'The' (White-tailed Sea Eagle is a very large bird of prey). You've done it all the way through. Only when the plural is used can you omit the definite article. For example, "Atlantic Puffins are one of the most lovable birds in Iceland." is correct. So is "The Atlantic Puffin is..."

      "However, some eagles believe in pirating..." I think 'believe' is not the right term for an animal following its natural tendencies smile

      Watch out for unnecessary words, such as 'mostly brownish in colour'. 'In colour' is not needed, neither is 'mostly'. So...

      "White-tailed Eagle is mostly brownish in colour with yellow beak and legs and the adult bird has white tail feathers." becomes...

      "The White-tailed Eagle has brownish plumage with a yellow beak and legs. The adult has white tail feathers."

      I'd also say that using 'brownish' and 'blackish' is somewhat lazy writing. Could you use closer descriptors, such as 'tawny' or 'mottled grey and black'? Use an online thesaurus to come up with alternatives.

      Writing for factual articles such as this, needs to be crisp, clear and without padding. You'll be able to pick up lots if you read it out loud. You might also try Hemingway - it's a free online app. Paste the text in and it will highlight clunky sentences.

      This subheading: "A Closer Look of Puffin" should be "A Closer Look at the Puffin".

      Nice hub, btw.

      1. srsddn profile image92
        srsddnposted 10 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks, theraggededge. I hope your suggestions will help me a lot in improving my Hub.

  2. chasmac profile image97
    chasmacposted 10 months ago

    In addition to implementing theraggededge's suggestions, you should de-capitalise (if that's a word) all the bird names in the text paragraphs.

    1. srsddn profile image92
      srsddnposted 10 months agoin reply to this

      Thanks, chasmac.

 
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