Feedback Needed

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  1. Alec Zander profile image88
    Alec Zanderposted 16 months ago

    I have edited and resubmitted this Review three times and it has still been denied Featured status. What's wrong with this thing???

    https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Guar … vie-Review

    1. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 16 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      The hub lacks a proper introduction - you launch straight into a personal opinion instead of introducing your readers to the movie, the premise of the film, a brief synopsis of the first one and a non-spoiler précis of the one you're reviewing. The first paragraph is so negative it makes me go, "Okay," and want to back out of the hub. Somehow, you have to make readers want to keep reading.

      I realise you are not impressed with the movie, but the overall tone of the review leaves me 'blah'. Is there no way you could make it humorous? Make it sparkle? I have read many reviews about awful movies that make me laugh so much that I want to read to the end.

      The image may be subject to copyright restrictions.

      Edit: You mention several characters but not what part they play in the story. You are assuming that readers know who/what you are writing about. You really need an overview of the plot without giving away too much.

      Hope that helps.

      1. Alec Zander profile image88
        Alec Zanderposted 16 months agoin reply to this

        Thank you for the tips. I have rewritten it entirely. Let me know what you think.

    2. Jason mackenzie profile image63
      Jason mackenzieposted 16 months agoin reply to this

      Hi, how about introducing a few more images, maybe of characters involved and place them next to the paragraphs describing them? Secondly, you could make creative use of capsules to highlight some of the interesting facts/did-you-know about the movie that would draw attention. Hope it helps, thanks, regards...

  2. solardoll24 profile image69
    solardoll24posted 16 months ago

    The only problems that I saw was in the first half of your article, there are missing commas and commas used where they shouldn't be. Also, like Jason said, add some more photos.

  3. Alec Zander profile image88
    Alec Zanderposted 16 months ago

    Thank you all for your helpful tips! My article is now featured and has even been moved to ReelRundown! Thank you all for your help!

  4. Jason mackenzie profile image63
    Jason mackenzieposted 16 months ago

    Congratulations!!!

 
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