I'd like feedback on my article: Why Bangkok Is Simply Awesome

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (42 posts)
  1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
    Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Why Bangkok Is Simply Awesome (must be signed in to view)

    1. theraggededge profile image98
      theraggededgeposted 3 months agoin reply to this

      I've visited Bangkok and stayed at the Royal Orchid. It's a great city for tourists, but I would suggest that you mention some of the less-happy aspects such as child beggars, pollution, poverty, as well as the stultifying heat. We weren't informed before we went so were quite shocked by the stuff we saw.

      1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
        Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks for suggesting I will write the dos and don'ts in my next article once this article gets published. but I am not getting the point why this article didn't get featured can you throw some lights on that

        1. theraggededge profile image98
          theraggededgeposted 3 months agoin reply to this

          Grammar and formatting problems. For instance, 'Why Bankok', should have a question mark after it. The list of things to do should be in regular font, not H3.

          "Indulge in the finest culinary" Culinary what? It's an adjective, not a noun.

          Make sure the places mentioned in your image captions are properly capitalized. Also mention that the photos are your own (they are, yes?). The close-up of the food is blurry, so should be removed or replaced with a better one.

          Edit: Also make sure your subheadings are consistent. Use APA title case in all of them.

          Hope that helps smile

          Spotted something else... your article bio is grammatically incorrect:

          "Apart from being a financial executive, a painter and a writer and also a nature lover and a traveler who admires and explores new places."

          Better to say, "I'm a financial executive, painter, nature lover, and a writer. I'm also a passionate traveler who loves to explore new places."

          1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
            Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

            Thanks for highlighting the errors, I will definitely work on it. I appreciate your feedback.

        2. DrMark1961 profile image95
          DrMark1961posted 3 months agoin reply to this

          When you manage to attract a reader to your page (through an interesting title or summary) the first thing they tend to look at is your bio. It is at the top of the page. If your bio is written ackwardly or has nothing to do with the title they are likely to bounce out of there and find something else. I think you should start out with "I'm a passionate traveler who loves to explore new places." and then add other info.
          If they make it past the bio, the first thing they read is the first paragraph. Your first paragraph has some errors (like not capitalizing the first word in a sentence) and is kind of "meh". You just lost most of your readers, and at this point they are going to bounce out of there. You may still have a page view, but will not have an impression as the ads will not even have loaded yet.
          How about changing Why Bangkok? into a capsule that grabs the readers interest? You are certainly a good enough writer to do so. ("Bangkok is an affordable and colorful city with hundreds of awesome attractions that will keep you busy for days? Want to hear about a few of them? Read on." is an example. I am sure you will come up with something better.)
          There is some work to do on this so that it can be featured but it is interesting.Best of luck.

          1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
            Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

            Thank you very much for suggestions, quite helpful tips, I will change accordingly.

      2. Will Apse profile image91
        Will Apseposted 3 months agoin reply to this

        I have lived in Thailand for 14 years and I have never seen a child beggar. They must congregate around the Royal Orchid.

        The only "beggars" I have ever come across are adult, disabled and "licensed" to collect money for singing, rather like buskers.

        They even wear the license around their necks, rather like corporate employees with their ID, lol.

        There are children who are ferried around restaurants to sell sweets and nuts after school, which is depressing. I counted 3 in a city I am very familiar with. Once encountered a begging elephant, former forestry worker but sadly unemployed when he appeared with his handler.

        In the UK, the number of rough sleepers, that I encountered recently was shocking. Some of them begged. Must include them in my "Ten Things to See in London" article.

        https://hubstatic.com/14804208.jpg

        Pic now included on my blog. Not sure what foreigners will make of that.

        1. theraggededge profile image98
          theraggededgeposted 3 months agoin reply to this

          What is this? A points scoring competition, Will? Of course there are child beggars in Bangkok, scores of them. And yes, they do congregate around posh hotels for obvious reasons. They are both desperate and intimidating. I also saw/met some in Hua Hin.

          https://blogbkk.wordpress.com/2010/12/0 … n-bangkok/

          https://coconuts.co/bangkok/features/hi … ed-profit/

          https://www.bangkokpost.com/thailand/sp … s-for-sale

          There are homeless people and beggars on the streets of UK cities. It's a disgusting indictment on society that people have to exist like that. There are a huge number of deserving cases but also quite a few Eastern European 'professionals' with BMWs parked around the corner.

          But I'm not writing an article on London tourism, am I? So not sure why you want to do the comparison thing?

          1. Will Apse profile image91
            Will Apseposted 3 months agoin reply to this

            Those pages you quoted are a decade old.

            Mostly, I have avoided the tourist traps and the hangouts of the expats,  but I have been staying in Bangkok for the last few months and I still haven't seen a child beggar.

            If there are only "scores" of them and they only target western tourists, I may never see one.

            Eastern Europeans in BMW's, lol?

            In the US, they would be Mexican, in Thailand they would be Laotians, in India they would be from Bangladesh and I sure Dr Mark can come up with the Brazilian outgroup of evil.

            1. theraggededge profile image98
              theraggededgeposted 3 months agoin reply to this

              The first one is 2010; the other two are five years old... they were the ones at the top of the search results. Or maybe this is why you haven't seen them... there was a law passed 5 months ago, which I didn't know about: https://thethaiger.com/news/national/th … ce-begging

              But, according to the Pope the exploitation continues. Mostly prostitution but the article mentions begging as well.

              In the UK, professional beggars run 'begging rings' in large cities. Sometimes they fly in, stay for a few days, make decent money and go back to Romania or wherever.

              Here you go... from your favourite paper, too. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl … welry.html

              https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/1785018 … h-streets/

              That's not to mean the problem of rough sleeping isn't a shameful and increasing one either. In the UK, someone 'seeking asylum' is guaranteed accommodation, food and a weekly pocket money allowance, while ex-servicemen down on their luck are left to rot on the streets.

              I'm not sure I understand what you mean by 'outgroup of evil'. Genuine beggars and homeless are not 'evil'.

              1. Will Apse profile image91
                Will Apseposted 3 months agoin reply to this

                If you genuinely do not know what "outgroup" refers to, I would suggest looking it up. The use of outgroups by politicians to gain political advantage is the phenomena of our times.

                1. theraggededge profile image98
                  theraggededgeposted 3 months agoin reply to this

                  Again, apologies to the OP. This discussion doesn't belong here.

                  1. DrMark1961 profile image95
                    DrMark1961posted 3 months agoin reply to this

                    Outgroup of evil? In Thailand, I am sure he is referring to the expats from Europe.(Laotians need not apply.)

                  2. Will Apse profile image91
                    Will Apseposted 3 months agoin reply to this

                    Apologies to the OP, lol. You are fine with asserting that Bangkok is swarming with child beggars, after your brief experience at an upmarket Bangkok hotel. And  you suggest the OP include the ones you saw (possibly long ago) in an article aimed at tourists. What is that about?

                    Anyone who knows the country is going to be irritated.

  2. chasmac profile image95
    chasmacposted 3 months ago

    Apart from formatting issues, some blurred photos, and typos, such as "The Grand Place" (Palace), there are some problems with the content:

    "Since it's December and the holidays are around the corner..."
    Yes, it's December now, but it'll be January soon, so your article will be out of date.

    "The timing difference between Bangkok and India"

    HubPages has a global readership, so that information will be irrelevant to the majority of readers. A tourist from Germany, Australia, Japan, etc. doesn't care about the time in India.

    "Wat pho, The Temple of Emerald Buddha"

    You already stated (correctly) that the Temple of the Emerald Buddha is part of the Grand Palace. Wat Pho lies outside the confines of the Grand Palace. The Temple of the Emerald Buddha lies within the palace grounds and is called Wat Phra Keow.

    "In order to reach the Palace, one has to sail through the boat as the Palace is sitting on the banks of the Chao Phraya river"

    I'm not sure what this means. Do you mean you need to take a boat to get to the palace? That's only true if you're coming from the opposite bank (or choosing to travel by express boat from either bank). Even then, you don't "have  to" as there are bridges. Taxis, tuk tuks and buses can bring you from any part of the city to the palace (or close to it in the case of buses.)

    1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
      Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for your detailed review. I will work on it.

  3. chasmac profile image95
    chasmacposted 3 months ago

    You still need to correct the subtitle:

    "Wat Pho, Temple of the Emerald Buddha"

    Wat Pho is a very important temple near the Grand Palace, but it's NOT the Temple of the Emerald Buddha. The Temple of the Emerald Buddha is Wat Phra Kaew and is part of the Grand Palace complex. In fact, your photo that you've titled "Architecture in the palace" is actually a photo of part of the Temple of the Emerald Buddha.

  4. theraggededge profile image98
    theraggededgeposted 3 months ago

    And apologies to the OP for the hijacking of her thread. xx

  5. Rupert Taylor profile image97
    Rupert Taylorposted 3 months ago

    Wilderness, you are quite right. I was thinking of saying much the same but feared triggering a flame war such as those in the Topical Forums.

    1. Will Apse profile image91
      Will Apseposted 3 months agoin reply to this

      Don't worry, I don't get upset. And I usually leave off when there is nothing more to be learnt.

      1. PaulGoodman67 profile image97
        PaulGoodman67posted 3 months agoin reply to this

        Well it gave this "feedback thread" more spice than most of them have. Frankly I am more than a little weary of them. I've not been to Thailand so can't really comment on the content. But I understand your desire to defend the place you live against the tourist stereotype. It was an interesting derail of the thread anyway. smile

        1. Will Apse profile image91
          Will Apseposted 3 months agoin reply to this

          I thought I was firm but fair throughout, lol.

  6. chasmac profile image95
    chasmacposted 3 months ago

    Hi Suchismita
    You've misunderstood my explanation about Wat Pho and the separate Temple of the Emerald Buddha (Wat Phra Kaew). Let me clarify, because this article has the potential to be very good.

    WAT PHO
    Your section on Wat Pho had correct info and the photo of the reclining Buddha fits well as that's what it's famous for. Only your title was wrong. It's Wat Pho. It's not the Temple of the Emerald Buddha. Wat Pho is also known (less commonly) as the Temple of the Reclining Buddha.
    If you like you can research and include other facts such as it being the first university or the birthplace of 'proper' Thai massage.

    THE TEMPLE OF THE EMERALD BUDDHA (Wat Phra Kaew)
    This temple lies within the Grand Palace grounds. It's Thailand's most important temple as it contains the country's most revered icon, the small Emerald Buddha. You can't miss the temple if you visit the Grand Palace - All those huge spires and many ornate buildings you saw are of this temple. And the photo you took about "architecture in the Grand Palace" is part of this temple. But it IS part of the Grand Palace complex (actually the dominant part) so you can write about it in your Grand Palace section, but NOT the Wat Pho Section, which is fine.

    Other things like typos, etc,. can be fixed if you search and find them or listen to the good advice of other Hubbers. But the actual info MUST be correct. That's probably not the reason for it being rejected, though, as the editors may not know if it's factually correct or not. But putting out incorrect info to the public is a huge No-No - much worse than typos, etc.

    Your photos are sourced as 'Original' meaning you took them on your trip, so that's fine. At least one of them is still a little blurry, though. That's another cause for rejection.

    1. AliciaC profile image97
      AliciaCposted 3 months agoin reply to this

      The situation with respect to the photo sources seems a bit strange. Perhaps the writer has edited the article since you last saw it. I currently see captions for some of the photos but no sources for any of them.

      1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
        Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

        Finally, it got published

        1. chasmac profile image95
          chasmacposted 3 months agoin reply to this

          Yes, it's published despite still having errors. I've tried to explain twice that the Temple of the Emerald Buddha (Wat Phra Kaew) is not the same as the Temple of the Reclining Buddha (Wat Pho).

          Change the subheading from the Temple of the Emerald Buddha to
          Wat Pho, the Temple of the Reclining Buddha.

          1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
            Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

            Thanks for pointing out, I changed it.

      2. chasmac profile image95
        chasmacposted 3 months agoin reply to this

        Yes, you're right, Alicia. The source "original" has been removed. I wonder why.

        1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
          Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

          Yes, those pics are original. I removed it as it was little blurred.

  7. Eurofile profile image97
    Eurofileposted 3 months ago

    Congratulations on finally getting your article through the process. It takes persistence to get through boot camp. Be encouraged though. We have all been there before you. You will get through and if you have a problem, there is no shortage of helpful advice from fellow hubbers, as you have experienced above.

    1. Suchismita pradhan profile image65
      Suchismita pradhanposted 3 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for your support and kind words, I really appreciate it.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)