I'd like feedback on my Hub: Pregnancy With Diabetes: Am I At Risk Of Having A S

  1. docashp profile image53
    docashpposted 8 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Pregnancy With Diabetes: Am I At Risk Of Having A Stillbirth? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image100
      theraggededgeposted 8 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      Can you stop clicking the link to generate these forum posts? You've already got four or five posted on the same hub. You've probably already received all the feedback you're going to get, so best not to keep doing it smile

      Your introduction needs work. Quoting a bunch of statistics is not an introduction. Your intro must be written to the title, which asks a question, Am I at risk of a stillbirth? So in your leading paragraph you should address the question and then explain how you are going to answer it.

      If I am looking for answers on this, I don't care one jot about the figures about diabetes in general. I care about what might happen to me with gestational diabetes, which is different. So if you are to keep readers on the page, you must write your article *to the title*.

      I can't see anywhere on the page if I am at increased risk of suffering a stillbirth. Maybe it's buried in there somewhere...

      The facts and figures are best woven through the text or in a separate capsule somewhere down the page.

      On the other hand if you are just writing a disengaged text on gestational diabetes, then write that (with a different title), but if I were to click on your article because of its current title, I'd want reassurance and encouragement that all will be well if I take certain precautions. And I'm not getting it here, am I?

  2. docashp profile image53
    docashpposted 8 months ago

    Thanks for your help.I have tried to make the changes as advised.Hope it helps.