I'd like feedback on my Hub: A Message to Men.

1. 61

   Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub A Message to Men. (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 87

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I'm afraid I'll have to leave it to someone else to review this one. It's bringing my inner angry feminist out. And I didn't even realise I had one

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      1. 61

         Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         You don't feel represented at all, I get it submission is a no no for you.
         Fair enough, I don't believe in tarotology myself but i appreciate diversity

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2. 65

   Breelyn Sirkposted 7 years ago

   The reason being is that women all around the world, still to this day, are being discriminated against. Simply for not having a penis. Good day to you. Please read up on how to properly RESPECT women.
   
   Thank You,
   Breelyn

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3. 75

   chasmacposted 7 years ago

   While theraggededge is recovering with a stiff drink let me offer some thoughts.
   
   1. There are too many style, grammatical and punctuation errors.
   
   Look at your title: A Message to Men. It's not a sentence so it shouldn't end with a full stop.
   
   The first sentence is "Guys, can I talk to you for a sec," That's a question so it needs to end with a question mark, not a comma. There are many more errors like those. Find and fix them
   
   "Give her space to nature and mother you, it makes her feel closer to you."
   Nature you??? - Did you mean "nurture"? - and separate the two clauses with a semi colon, not a comma.
   
   Don't use PS at the end. It's a typed article, not a hand-written letter.
   
   2. Your Hub is far too short. Aim for a  thousand words - or at least 700.
   
   3. You should provide a source for the photo you used to let everyone know that you have the legal right to use that picture because you took it yourself or it's a copyright-free photo or that you obtained permission to use it from the owner. You don't want people thinking that you're a sinful woman who steals pictures from the Internet. Let them know you used it legally by providing the source in the image capsule's source box.
   
   4. Your article is aimed at men - all men, but you constantly make references to people without explaining who they are. That suggest you're addressing male readers who already know these people. Now, I happen to know that these are biblical characters, so basically, you're addressing male Christians and, to a lesser extent, Jews and Muslims - people who already know who Abraham, Sara and Paul are. If you want to address ALL men, remove the biblical references or else explain who each character is; don't assume that we all know. Alternatively, post your article in one of the religious categories rather than a dating category.
   
   I read your article and asked my wife if she will submit to me at all times. She smiled sweetly and replied, "Yeah... In your dreams". I take that to mean yes she will - even when I'm asleep and dreaming. At least, I think that's what she meant.

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   1. 61

      Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. This really helps. I have a lot to work on.
      But on your wife's submission, hahaha... yeah, that's what she means.

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4. 57

   neshtaposted 7 years ago

   Great article,i'm a male and my opinion could be biased.Love.

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   1. 61

      Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you...

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5. 78

   psycheskinnerposted 7 years ago

   I hope that to address all men you would also need to stop being rampantly misogynist.

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   1. 61

      Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Many women don't seem to agree with my article. I will check on that. Thank you

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         psycheskinnerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         You are writing to all men, many of whom will find you article--at best--hilarious.
         
         I suggest you title your hub to target the type of man interested in the point of view you are promoting. 
         
         Your primary audience for ad-supported content is people, predominantly women, in developed nations.  Keep that in mind.

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         1. 65

            Breelyn Sirkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you psycheskinner, another thing to keep in mind is that not all of us are taught that marriage is supposed to be like that. My parents were married 32 years when my mom passed away. Oh boy if she were alive.... She also grew up in a time where women finally stood up and had to fight just to let us help our economy by not forcing us to be good little housewives, by finally accepting that we are smart and beneficial to the world equally as men. This allows men to be weak at times, to make the term "stop acting like a girl" disappear.
            
            My mother instilled in me the belief in girl power, not girl service. I intend to instill that same belief in my daughter, so she grows up knowing that she is worth more than just someone to please a man

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6. 61

   Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years ago

   Write a reply...maybe my article came out all wrong. I did not imply that women should be 'good little housewives' because I am a career woman myself and I don't believe I should be only in the kitchen.
   What I meant is that men should stop trying to teach women to respect them and act respectable.
   I believe a woman will be what she wants, and the man in her life will either help her be that or 'rebellious'

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   1. 87

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Emma, my dear, that's not how your hub appears. Look...
      
      "IT IS A JOY FOR A WIFE TO SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND. It's so fulfilling and a man in control is hard to resist."
      
      That almost reads like something out of "50 Shades of Grey"
      
      Women are equal as human beings. They do not have to submit in order to be one half of a successful marriage. A man does not need to control her. She is not his property. They are two individuals who, hopefully, love each other and have decided to make a lasting commitment. No-one is the boss, they are equal, but different.
      
      You mention that you are not married, so perhaps this submission thing is connected to your upbringing, your community or religion? It's certainly not a viewpoint shared by the progressive world. If you are addressing, for example, my man, he would laugh his socks off at the idea of having me submit. LOL! It's just never going to happen.
      
      Here's a Christian-based article on marriage. You''ll see nowhere does it mention submission: http://www1.cbn.com/family/what-makes-f … arriage%3F
      
      I'm not the religious kind, but it seems to me, if a man is a 'true Christian', he will be treating his wife as an equal anyway. Otherwise, he couldn't call himself a Christian.

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      1. 61

         Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         I am a Christian and we submit to the authority of God. But that does not belittle us in any way. Instead it makes us better, it makes our walk easier.
         God is the Author of marriage and He wants marriage to work for His glory. A woman submitting to her husband doesn't mean she becomes a door mat, but rather acknowledges his leadership. She is a helper, that makes her his equal.
         It would be easier explaining this to a Christian.
         
         That aside I appreciate your honest feedback. I did not choose my audience well and I should have a better tittle and I should check on my punctuation and grammar.
         Thank you.

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            Breelyn Sirkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Where do you get your proof that God is a man ? Just because some pieces of ancient text got translated to using that pro-noun ? I am not trying to argue with you, I am just trying to enlighten you that you are perfectly worthy without a man.

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            1. 61

               Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Without a doubt I am. I am whole and I don't need a man to complete me. Even the Bible says a single person is better than a married one when it comes to serving God.
               But if I am to choose marriage I have to abide by the Christian marriage expectation....
               
               And by the way, God is not a man. He is a spirit. He is three in one, God the father, the son and the Holy Spirit.... All male hence the pronoun 'He'.
               God is our Father, He is our source, He is loving and kind... He cannot be biased against women

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                  Breelyn Sirkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  Okay so you are basing it off of how the pro-noun got translated. Fair enough. I still am not a fan of any religion that doesn't allow women to be the leader in a marriage. P.S be careful who you decide to marry as well, it wasn't that long ago that divorce was wrong in the eyes of Christianity. Hope you don't get stuck for all of eternity with the wrong person. And unless there is some picture of God's penis in the bible, I am pretty sure there is no "proof" that he is a man, only hearsay.

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   2. 65

      Breelyn Sirkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry, I should have been more clear, what I was referencing was how back before the 1960's, here in America, that is all most women were ever able to be. They gave electro-shock therapy to women for being "hysterical" which left them like walking zombies ( my mother had to watch her mother go through that as well). I feel so lucky to live here where me, you, and my daughter get to be career women.
      
      In most of the rest of the world (I am not sure where you are from) they are not allowed to be anything but a wife.

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7. 78

   psycheskinnerposted 7 years ago

   If you are not married, perhaps you should concentrate on writing hubs where you do have direct expertise to offer, and in a specific context.

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   1. 61

      Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hmmm... Yea, maybe I'm too naive.
      I'll let the experienced ones write and I can learn from them.
      I appreciate your feedback.
      
      Asante  *swahili for thank you

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8. 92

   Tim Truzy info4uposted 7 years ago

   It's important to point out the Bible says submit to a man if he is godly in his dealings. I am a Christian, but my wife is my friend, partner, and Christian ally. "Submit" like a beast just ain't in our thinking.

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      Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I am surprised that's how you see submission yet you are a Christian. You submit to God right?
      Does that make you feel victimized?
      The mistake I made in this article is assuming all hubbers understand what I mean. I initially wrote it for my facebook audience hence the lack of detail. I have however learnt from previous reviews how hubs should be, detailed and informative.
      kindly read this maybe you will understand what I mean http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/six … ion-is-not

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         Breelyn Sirkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Have you ever heard of modesty ? I myself am not a Christian. Doesn't mean I am an atheist, but I also come from strong Christian roots though.... Talking like this would have gotten you a slap across your head from my 4'9" Grandma....
         
         I am the same height and don't believe in violence, but I also can NOT STAND ignorant people. You my dear are very ignorant of the world. Stop talking about things you yourself do not have the capability of understanding.
         
         The sad thing is that you keep choosing to keep being ignorant... no matter how many of us try to enlighten you. Stop being a disgrace to females and stop offending MY religion AS WELL AS MILLIONS of others religion. Go submit to your creepy white preacher, I will be here to give you therapy in 20 years after you feel your soul has been molested
         
         I get SEO, I get sex sells. Read my article and tell me if you find the section on rosemary in the bedroom to be as perverse as your "submit to God like he is "Christian Grey" " Rosemary

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            Emma Ignatiusposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            A great hub you have there. Thanks for the tip, i will use it when i get married.
            
            I hope you noticed that I did not write anything about sex. Here is my point: Godly submission is very different from worldly submission. You say I am ignorant to the world, you my friend are ignorant to the word of God and as long as you draw your reference from Fifty shades we will never agree on the subject. Im drawing mine from the Bible and my personal relationship with God.
            
            When I say submit, the bedroom has nothing to do with it. Rather its considering others better than yourself, this is a bible teaching and I don't expect you to understand it since the word of God is foolishness to the world.
            
            Anyway my dear, i don't wish to continue with this discussion. You don't have to agree with me and I respect your opinion.
            Thank you

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   Tim Truzy info4uposted 7 years ago

   Forgive me. Many people don't understand minor misinterpretations have led to bloody engagements among people of the same religion - my idea of submission apparently isn't yours, which means you need to clarify and not point. (You would be surprised at my Cristian credentials.)

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