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I'd like feedback on my Hub: Education, Teacher and Toxin

  1. Gyanendra Mocktan profile image77
    Gyanendra Mocktanposted 4 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Education, Teacher and Toxin. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Kathryn L Hill profile image87
      Kathryn L Hillposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      Your article is a good one. Maybe the title could be improved, however. But it did draw me in to read it!

      1. Gyanendra Mocktan profile image77
        Gyanendra Mocktanposted 3 months ago in reply to this

        Kathryn L Hill, Thank you for your feedback. I have changed the title. Now it is featured. I have just two articles.  I have to work hard. Thank you again

        1. Kathryn L Hill profile image87
          Kathryn L Hillposted 3 months ago in reply to this

          You are welcome! Thanks for shining your light on the subject.

          1. Gyanendra Mocktan profile image77
            Gyanendra Mocktanposted 3 months ago in reply to this

            You are welcome. Now my next challenge is to write more hubs with energy. Thank you

  2. DzyMsLizzy profile image93
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    The first and most damaging thing I see is your photos.  While it's very true that Pixabay is a free sharing site for photos, it is also true that the first four of five images you see at the top of the page are NOT.

    All of them are watermarked with "Shutterstock," which is a pay-for-license-to-use site.  Using watermarked photos is clearly forbidden by Hub Pages rules, as it indicates use of copyrighted images without having permission.

    I would delete those photos immediately, and replace them with different images further down the page, and you will be in safe territory.  Also, you can try searching on Flickr.com, for images, and choose "commercial use allowed" for the license, and again, you would be in compliance.

    Your English is pretty good, but some of the grammar needs to be cleaned up a bit; some of the tenses are a bit 'off'.

    As for the rest of the article, it begins nicely, but then you get distracted and it rambles a bit.  You need to tighten up the focus of the piece.  Ask yourself these questions:
    1) Exactly what am I trying to say?
    2) Who will be the audience I am trying to reach?
    3) Is my title search-friendly?  (Meaning, is it something people will look up on Google?  I struggled with this one myself for a long time.)
    4) Do each one of my paragraphs answer a question that leads to the conclusion of the article?
    5) Will the article still make sense if I leave out some of the detail? (For example, do you really need to mention about the 'zebra crossing' for pedestrians?  It's fairly universally known, and you could simply say, "When it was safe, I crossed the street."  The zebra reference is very picturesque, and conjures a great visual, but is perhaps better suited for a poetic piece.)
    6)  How does it sound if I read it aloud?  Here is where you may find that you could be more concise, or rearrange some of the thoughts.

    Best wishes!

    1. Gyanendra Mocktan profile image77
      Gyanendra Mocktanposted 3 months ago in reply to this

      DzyMsLizzy.  I have followed your tips instantly.   The article is featured now,  Without your feedback, my article would have been nowhere. Thank you

  3. Gyanendra Mocktan profile image77
    Gyanendra Mocktanposted 4 months ago

    Thank you DzyMsLizzy, I will edit my article and change the photos now. Thank you

 
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