I'd like feedback on my Hub: On Second thought...

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   Emma Ignatiusposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub On Second thought... (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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2. 84

   psycheskinnerposted 6 years ago

   I think you need a to consider, who are your hubs going to help and how would those people find them?

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      Emma Ignatiusposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. I originally wrote this for my facebook audience and its clear HP expectations are quite different.

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3. 94

   Rupert Taylorposted 6 years ago

   Your offering reads a bit like stream of consciousness; it's a disjointed blog. Not really the kind of thing HP is looking for, which is well-constructed informative articles that are media rich.
   
   Images must be credited and free of copyright restrictions.
   
   Your title is not going to attract any hits. Few people are likely to type "On Second Thought" into a search field.
   
   There are random capital letters and non-English words that need a translation.

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      Emma Ignatiusposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you sir.

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4. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 6 years ago

   Hi Emma,
   About your article:
   
   Keep title in 'Title Case'
   
   Sentences are incomprehensible, for example, 'It could be so easy to just live for me because I have seen being good cause pain.' Any sentence that doesn't make sense needs reworking.
   
   Read out loudly. You will learn how awkward it sounds.
   
   You may correct the sentence by putting the words in the right order.
   For the above mentioned sentence, you could write it as "It could be easy for me to live because..."
   
   You wrote, “I am saying this because I am 100% human“ well, nobody is any % less or more human than you. We all know you are human as everyone else is. Robots or aliens are not writing articles on HP :-D
   
   In most of the cases, you have used comma to punctuate complete sentences. Use a period instead.
   
   The sentence, "The realization that good can be repaid with evil, a kiss can mean betrayal, a hug can be meant to strangle, friends can be enemies, family can feel unfamiliar and Ice-cream can hurt your teeth."  What about it?
   That's one part. Complete your thought with another sentence.
   
   Rupert and psycherskinner have given excellent suggestions, please follow them.
   
   The pain (message) you are highlighting in the article still stands out, but the way, the method could become more appealing if you worked on it.
   
   Hope these help.
   Good luck.

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      Emma Ignatiusposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I am finding your feedback very thorough. Thank you. Its really helpful

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