I'd like feedback on my article: Vegan Mango Ice Cream

  1. Astralrose profile image87
    Astralroseposted 2 months ago

    Hi Fellow Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Vegan Mango Ice Cream. What can I do to improve? Thanks you!

  2. pen promulgates profile image79
    pen promulgatesposted 2 months ago

    Hello Astralose,

    Observations:

    1) There are grammatical errors throughout.

    2) Your sentences are long and hard to read.

    3) Punctuation is improper at times.

    4) Sometimes capitalization is unnecessary. (In the first paragraph, you only capitalize new year and Christmas whereas birthday and other occasion are not capitalized). Keep the same pattern.

    4) You jump from one gender group to another while addressing. For example, in the beginning itself, you started with 'you' and then you quickly jumped to 'our fridge' it should be 'your  fridge' or put 'we' in the beginning. There are more errors like this.

    5) Tenses need to match too. An example, 'the last couple of months I had been reading ice cream recipes'
    It should be I have been reading.

    6) It's more about your experience and less about the recipe.
    You can add nutritional information chart.

    Hope these help

 
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