I'd like feedback on my article.

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  1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
    Ivan Hernandezposted 12 months ago

    Now that I can post again, I've got a new article to give to you.
    https://hubpages.com/politics/Hypotheti … er-Florida
    How do I make my article better?

    1. Terrielynn1 profile image91
      Terrielynn1posted 12 months agoin reply to this

      Hi, Ivan, this is a really good article. not much to say. It looks like you did slot of work. I found it very interesting. From a very neutral point of view. I couldn't imagine being in the middle of either one of these storms. So tragic and devastating. I know a couple people who were and their lives will never be the same.

    2. TessSchlesinger profile image94
      TessSchlesingerposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      APA Style. Answer the question in the first paragraph. That's APA style. You will lose readers, otherwise. Most of us are lazy.  You elucidate and explain further down, but whenever you write a catching headline, make sure you answer the question immediately.

      1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
        Ivan Hernandezposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        you know I cant edit articles on my PS3!

        1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
          TessSchlesingerposted 12 months agoin reply to this

          That is really sad. I'm sorry.

          1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
            Ivan Hernandezposted 12 months agoin reply to this

            that's ok. I'll figure out a way to edit my article.

            1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
              TessSchlesingerposted 12 months agoin reply to this

              Okay. I also can't work on my phone and sometimes have to wait until I'm on my laptop.

      2. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
        Ivan Hernandezposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        I'll address the issue as soon as I get the computer.

  2. Jeremy Gill profile image93
    Jeremy Gillposted 12 months ago

    Here's a few ideas:

    1) Be sure to capitalize "united states"
    2) Let's look at this sentence: "9 days before Irma struck Florida, I was predicting something striking Florida." It begins with a number expressed in its numerical form. Not a big deal, but a tickling in the back of my mind says to begin sentences with them written out (Nine vs 9).
    3) First part of this sentence is a bit awkward: " Tropical storm force wind gusts began affecting us at almost 2:00 AM."
    4) Uncapitalize the word issued: "Governor Rick Scott Issued..."
    5) I'd remove the "in my opinion" in this heading: "Harvey's impact on Florida in my opinion." I'd also remove the periods from your headings.
    6) The lengthy text chunk under "Hypothetical Slow-moving Large Category 5 Hurricane Over Florida." may look better if subheadings or other formatting tools are utilized.

    Honestly, most of my suggestions are nitpicks, and I had fun reading.

    1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
      Ivan Hernandezposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      where in the article is "United States" in lowercase letters? Just asking, because I can't edit articles on my PS3.

      1. Jeremy Gill profile image93
        Jeremy Gillposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        Now everything's looking good, so either it was fixed or I'm hallucinating ha.

        Tip to quickly locate specific words or phrases: hit your Control and F keys to use the "Find" function, and search for whatever you're looking for. Comes in handy for a variety of websites. And you're welcome, I look forward to your future endeavors.

    2. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
      Ivan Hernandezposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      And thank you for constructively criticizing my article. Honestly, I've had a renaissance of ideas since Hurricane Irma struck my area in Norland.

 
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