How do you and your signifigant other handle money?

1. 52

   itzmylyfposted 14 years ago

   My husband and I both work fulltime. Although he makes considerably more then me, I still contribute a little toward bills.
   But I have issues with money, I like to spend it. It's like I don't have anything in my brain that says "STOP", you really don't have the money for this.
   
   I want to open my account, give him money for bills and then keep some for me, that way he can't make a fuss about what i buy.
   He says no way in H*LL!!!!
   
   
   What would you do?

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      Leta Sposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Your solution sounds quite fair to me.  It would ensure bills are covered and also give you the freedom to do what you want with the rest of your money...  The question I'd ask is why he has to make a 'fuss.'  You worked for the $, it is yours--and as long as you are taking care of your responsibilities, I'd question this need for him to control you, basically.
      
      If you are interested in saving--you might want to set up an automatic savings account, removing a set amount from your check every two weeks or month, or whatever you want.  That helps those who have a little, lol, spending problem, as it is set up already--you don't have to think about it.
      
      I have never had a joint account with someone where I didn't also have my own personal accounts.  I couldn't stand it, really.  I'm a shopper, but a saver, too...and don't like anyone telling me what I should have/not have.  (If I want those new red stilettos, damn it, I'm getting them...ditto if I decide to invest in something somewhere.)
      
      I think everyone needs a bit of personal freedom like that when it comes to money.

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   2. 59

      mandybeauposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I am just like you, I love spending.
      He doesn't so I spend and he doesn'ttt lol It works....

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2. 61

   lbtraderposted 14 years ago

   At least the issue isn't breaking you apart....
   
   How me and my significant other handle money is....
   
   I sent her royalty checks and she spends my money....and hers and that of her other 2 significants....
   
   lol....this may or may not be a truth??????

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3. 59

   Laughing Momposted 14 years ago

   We found a peace-keeping way to handle the money issues.  We sat down and figured out exactly what *had* to be spent every month--mortgage, utilities, food, etc.  Then we figured out what we would *like* to spend every month--eating out, entertainment, etc. It's a little more detailed than a regular budget.
   Then we figured out how to "spend" or account it all before the deposit ever makes it to the bank.  When we know we only have a certain amount available for eating out, for example, it's easier to not go over what we accounted for that use.  We also account a certain amount every month into savings and a certain amount into an emergency fund--and we wrote down exactly what constitutes an emergency so it's not so tempting to use it for something that both of us don't agree is an emergency.  I only have a certain amount to buy groceries with, so it's easier not to veer off my list at the store.
   It's basically knowing where the money is going before we even get it and based on Dave Ramsey's stuff. 
   I found that doing it that way gave me alot more freedom and a bigger say in how I wanted to spend what he earns. 
   I do have my own bank account that my part-time paycheck goes into.  Once we got the main finances under control, we agreed that my account could be used for whatever I want to spend over and above our regular spending.  I usually end up not spending even a fourth of it.

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4. 60

   B.T. Evilpantsposted 14 years ago

   Interesting question! We don't really have a money handling issue, because we don't typically have money to handle! Aside from that, all of our pay goes into one account, and if we do have some mad money, we usually spend it on each other. I can't usually justify buying things for me, but she can, and vice versa. I don't know if that makes us strange, but it's worked for us for 22 years.

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5. 86

   Everyday Miraclesposted 14 years ago

   We don't. For us money is handled pretty badly in most cases, but we're working on that. Gifts to the household, the money that I earn here and through other projects generally goes back into more projects (to make more money). For example, I am considering beginning to breed ball pythons. About a $4000 initial investment to get a good setup, and the hobby/job only covers itself initially, depending on the stock you start out breeding.
   
   His income (I'm a SAHM) goes towards bills and any luxuries we want and are able to afford. That will hopefully change and we'll get smart and start saving!

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6. 59

   Aya_Hajimeposted 14 years ago

   It is very difficult when two people in a relationship have very different money spending views.
   
   When I was growing up, I shared a bank account with my brother. He wanted to spend our money on all kinds of electronic gadgets and toys. Drove me crazy. I always wanted to save my money up for later
   
   Now I have a joint account with my partner, but that works out well because both of us do not spend much on anything extra. Whenever there are big purchases, we talk it through, and shop for it together.

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7. 69

   C.Ferreiraposted 14 years ago

   I got myself a sugar mama! I just let her make the money and we do whatever we want...
   
   no not really. We each have our own separate accounts and just share the expenses equally. We don't keep a spreadsheet or keep track to the penny. We just guesstimate and it works out great!
   
   Just gotta be honest about your money situation with each other.

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      J. Kummposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      My guy and I do about the same thing. We have separate accounts and split the big bills. Then, we treat each other to the extras depending on who has the extra money at the time. I think we ride the grey line between combined and separate expenses by spliting the big things and going together on the smaller things.

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8. 82

   LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

   We have separate bank accounts. As we are both self-employed, it makes life easier.
   
   I spend almost all our money - I pay the rent, the nanny, all the utility bills and car bills and so forth.
   
   So when my bank account runs low, I ask OH to send some over, and he does. If he's running a surplus, he sticks it in savings accounts.
   
   We both spend and manage our personal stuff, but have pretty similar ideas about what is reasonable to spend.

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   1. 59

      mandybeauposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I love the sending some over, I must try that, but seriously good way of working it.

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   2. 60

      J. Kummposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think it's important to have attitudes about money that are pretty similar. It's really nice when you are both in the savings mood and both in the spending mood at the same time.

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9. 81

   SweetiePieposted 14 years ago

   Even if I were married I would not have a joint bank account.  There are just too many arguments about money and who spends what.  I have seen couples fight over the most ridiculous expenses, and those battles just seem pointless to me.

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   1. 59

      mandybeauposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      My best friend and her first boyfriend used to go out, and she would complain about him being a tight A...
      I used to think oH give it a rest till I saw them out at the pics one nite, and she asks me have a got my lighter, I said yeah, but you can't smoke in here.
      She says he wants to see, to write in his little Book and seriously this guy was writing down the Icecreams, that they had at halftime, whilst keeping a running total of all his expenses.
      She dumped him after he tried to persuade her to buy a pair of shoes that were a dollar less than the ones she liked.
      Mental, but I think you have to look after your own money and I wouldn't have a joint account either.

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10. 82

    LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

    It works for us, anyway, and we spend less than we earn, which is always good (-:

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    1. 59

       mandybeauposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I am always amazed at people that have nooo money left, and live from payday to pay day.
       Even when on a monthly Salary I used to divvy it up and save some. No one much seems to be able to do that anymore, well in this Country at least, may be different elsewhere.

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11. 82

    LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

    nope, similar here.
    
    We aim to spend 60% or so, save 20% for long-term things like furniture, new car, whatever, and save 20% for a rainy day.

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12. 62

    Pete Maidaposted 14 years ago

    We have separate accounts for organization but all of the books are open and easy for us to access and all account are joint accounts.  Cathy does most of the budgeting because she has the background for it.  Before retiring as Chief Deputy Clerk of a US Federal court; she was the budget analyst for the ourt.

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