Hello - Im ShadeofGrey - and Im looking to raise awareness

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   shadeofgreyposted 17 years ago

   Hi Everybody -
   Ive only created two hubs so far - but my intent is to cover as many topics as possible in two seperate catagories  -- issues faced by parents that have just found out their child is disabled - and the implications of growing up in mdern america with a permanent dfisability. my goal is to raise awarenss, and i want to make it clearthat im as straight laced and honest asthey come...  my whole point for being her is to answer all the querstions that able bodied people want to ask but dont because of the potential for adverse repurcussions...  I'm not afraid of anything or anybody - i've been through enough pain and through the heart of darkness for 4-5 people all by myself.  i was born eight weeks premature addicted to crack cocaineand heroin -- as a resulti was born with under developed lungs and was less than 3 pounds - which means in no uncertain terms that the day i was born i fit in the palm of your hand with room to spare on all sides.
   
   But unlike a large percentage of people with my level of disability or greater i want more out of life than simply surviving it- i want to live it!  If we only get one shot at it,  then cerebral palsy be damned - history will bear testament that i took the hit of that unspeakable magnitude and made something of myself anyway...  which is why im writing this forum post becauesse i dont understand how hubs and capsules fit together - every time i have a subject to  cover thats regarding the topic of parents t hat have just found  out their child is disabled should I:
   
   a.)  add text capsules to the single hub i created on the subject or
   b.) create new hubs for every subject  i wan to talk about?
   c.) when someone posts a comment to a hub that ivewritten and their comment is in the form of a question, is that a situation where i would add a text capsule to the same hub, or create new hubs for those too?
   d.)  i intend to blog extensively about the things that most disabled people dont talk about and raise awareness via the blogging construct to answer all the questions that people are always too afraid to ask, or the disabled person in question is too embarassed to answer... for example: (and please forgive the frankness of this statement) just because a man is crippled or wheelchair bound does not necessarily mean his critical equipment is broken and that he cant have sex - it just means that we cant prform like porn stars, and certain shortcomings have to be overlooked.
   e.)  Most importantly, I aspire to write about living with disabilities because the world needs to know that even though we're human beings with broken bodies - we're still human beings - and the fact that you cant go anywhere without a wheelchair can often make the p;rospect of nonsexual intamacy unthinkable for a lot of women -- because lets face it - from an evolutionary standpoint we were selected as a whole for exstinction...  the entire reason we endure is because of the exclusive nature of human morality and compassion - constructs both exclusive to the human race.  And when you look at it from that point of view it becomes obvious that theres more to all this than meets the eye...  which is precisely why i am creating a dynamic web presence with the wordpress blogging platform, though you should be made aware that it has been heavily modified by scores of addons and plugins.  There you'l find every chapter of the motivational book I'm writing for those with disabilities and the people hat love them, as well as every persn on this planet that happens to strruggle with something, quite simply because i no longer believe that any one human being sufgfers any more or less from the rest -- its just a matter of how those moments of suffering and root causes manifest themselves.  In either case, spiritfiremanifesto.com is the place you want to go if you want straight answers from someone who knows recisely what it merans to live in modern america with a permanent disability... it didnt take me long to figure out that nobody is going to give me anything - i have to roll up and take it - which is somethinbga lot of other disabled folks cant get theiur heads around.... they think the cosmos owes them something - when in fact the cosmos owes everybody absolutely nothing.  if your breathing, thats all you can hope for - the rest is entirely up to you whether you make the most of it or whine about all the little stuff that doesn't matter -- but I digress...  So:
   
   For those of you with definitive answers to my questions above, please ermail me directly or create a user account on my blog and leave a post if thats more your speed..  ill be adding a full fledged forum, butthat will take me a few weeks to get running and iron out the kinks.
   
   its an honor to  be a part of the hubpage community and i sincerely hope that those of you that have discovered the secret to financial success through hubpages and perhaps professional blogging as well i hope that you find it in your heart to share everything i need to know with me - im raw talent in need of guidance and a mentor - because thers no way i can hold down a regular 9-5 -- i either make it as a writer on the net as a professional blogger novelist and hubpage contributor or i dont make it period.  theres simply no other way to say that.
   
   I encourage all of you to read my hubs and leave comments -- i have every intention and all the time necessary to answer them all, so dont be bashful.  and finally, i want it on record that pity and sympathy are the last things im looking to achieve here. im not afraid to work hard and face insurrmountable odds; unlike most others, im looking to overcome my disability - not  end up entirely defined by it.
   -shadeofgrey
   www.spiritfiremanifesto.com
   shadeofgrey@spiritfiremanifesto.com

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      Jerrico Usherposted 17 years agoin reply to this

      do a seperate hub on different topics to keep them shorter (You seem like me, winded in your writing (not winded in a negative way just a natural writer!)  I'd suggest you keep topics seperate and you can always go back and edit your hubs their not perminant, if later you want to combine two topics you can do that too. If you make them too long people tend not to read them I hear unless you really captivate their attention.
      
      Also I suggest that you paragraph break every 6 or so lines because its easier on the eyes, more than that usually is overwhelming not to mention you cant stop reading to get a drink withough losing your place. 
      
      when someone askes a question in your hub you can do one or two things. One you can answer it in a short paragraph (I dont suggest you do what I did and write a book there, or as Isabella called it an encyclapedia.. they don't like that lol) but what I'd do in this case is give them a short answer to satisfy their curiosity then use this opportunity to create a new hub where you can answer their question fully and have another informative hub.. even two hubs on the same question stated diffferently is ok as long as it covers new information or angles of old information.
      
      hope this helps.. welcome aboard.
      
      Jerrico

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         Marisa Wrightposted 17 years agoin reply to this

         Jerrico, being winded in your writing is a natural thing for many - even most - writers, but that doesn't mean it's good.  As I said, if you or Shadeofgrey were trying to get published in the old world of print journalism, neither of you would get a job until you had learned to discipline your writing.  And that's not because the old print publications had outdated standards, it's because clear, disciplined writing is what will win you an audience..
         
         The last time I looked at your Hubs, they could also have benefited from some stringent editing.  I hope you have spent some time on that, because you've got some good information and it's a shame for it to get lost in a sea of words.

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2. 87

   Marisa Wrightposted 17 years ago

   Welcome to HubPages!  I'll be honest and say I didn't read that whole post!
   
   There are lots of Hubs written about how to Hub.  I suggest you start with Darkside's Hubs on that subject, then you'll find there's a "Related Hubs" box on the right of each Hub, where you can find other Hubs on the same or similar subjects.   It's worth spending time just browsing and reading before you start - I didn't, and ended up having to re-do a whole lot of stuff!
   
   If I might offer one piece of advice, it would be this - write your Hub, then go back and edit it until it's about half the length you started with.   I'm willing to bet you can easily do that, without losing one ounce of meaning! - and it will be much more readable.
   
   The biggest mistake most new writers make is to think "the more words, the better".  Wrong!  Too many words are indigestible.  Especially on the internet where - as Mark Knowles just said on another thread (thanks Mark), anything over 1,500 words doesn't get read.  Ask a seasoned journalist like William F. Torpey and he'll tell you how important it is to be clear and concise in your writing. 
   
   I'll stop now, before I write too many words myself.....

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      darksideposted 17 years agoin reply to this

      No fear of that. You've used paragraphs to cut it up into bite sized and edible chunks.

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      VioletSunposted 17 years agoin reply to this

      Too many words are indigestible.  Especially on the internet where - as Mark Knowles just said on another thread (thanks Mark), anything over 1,500 words doesn't get read.  Ask a seasoned journalist like William F. Torpey and he'll tell you how important it is to be clear and concise in your writing.  >>>
      
      Your comments made me stop and check how many words my first hub article has and it's over 2,000. Yikes! Thanks for the tip!  Will leave my article as is, but will keep in mind the word limit for my next hub pages.
      
      Anyhoo, thanks again everyone for your tips and book suggestions on becoming a better writer.  BDW, I recommned "The Adsense Code" by Joel Comm for those of you who have websites; its a very informative book!

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   coolbreezeposted 17 years ago

   Check out Marks Knowles , Maddie Rudd, Isabellas Hubs  I formated my hubs to look similar to theirs Thinking their designs are good and probably , more people click on them because of the way they are formated etc.
   
   Get an adsense account, cj.com and amazon.   Start displaying products that relate to your hub.
   
   If you need any help people can be pretty nice here. Just ask
   
   
   All of us are stricken with this thing some call life. I think your topics are good you are living it.
   Your could also not mention your physical stuff, you can write about anything you want here.
   
   Just read some of the hubs plenty people just write about things they want to learn about or know nothing about,
   
   For fun and the almighty $$
   
   Welcome
   Sincerely,
   Rik

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   darksideposted 17 years ago

   Natural writing + vicious editing = outstanding content

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      Jerrico Usherposted 17 years agoin reply to this

      I think I definately need an external editor for my work as I can never seem to find anything that needs to be removed.. less words perhaps but not removed, lol, but people always tell me they enjoy my writing as I publish it..
      
      I've decided for now to address this with breaking down long hubs into several hubs, and calling it a series.. most of what I write is naturally long NOT because of being winded or overly analyzed but because of the amount of data I have to offer on a topic of such complexity, and I feel I need it there to explain other things I discuss in it.
      
      so I'm working on segmenting a complex topic into several focused topics and tiying them together to form the bigger picture.. i.e. decoding love is a very magnatamous topic, so its segmented into for example:
      
      romantic love
      chemical reactions of love
      love at first site and so on...
      
      but carry a common theme, and each seperate topic carries some information vital to the next i.e. reading first (hence why I put them into a format of a series i.e. decoding love volume 1 chemical reactions of love describes the chemical reacitons that happen when we supposedly feel "love" then from that base I describe in another romantic love then tie in the learned (if you read it you'll better grasp it but its not required to understand this particular blog) information on chemical love to how it pertains to romantic love.. I make each hub even though its all one series of a book so to speak, to be self sufficient but work it so they realize they have a choice to learn more, or stick to that focused topic for waht they need. People like myself may want the wholistic approach, I like to know everything about a topic but some need only a segment, and for example dont care about the chemical reactions just want to know how romantic love works so they can learn to be more romantic and understand it.
      
      in the romantic love I do include the chemical reactions of love but in a paraphrase fashion, I just give the over view so they can grasp the concepts of how romantic love is provoked by chemicals released etc.. in this fashion I can go all out in explaining the chemical reactions and how they happen in some detail while containing that segment of decoding love into its own hub, then in other hubs on say romantic love I can just stick to the romance of love and touch on the chemicals (then link them to the chemical hub for refrence and deepening their knowledge of chemicals in the body affecting love and perception/emotions and so on..
      
      if I wrote the while thing into one hub I'd surely get people saying I need to focus more, and to shorten the hub to just touching on chemicals and focusing more on the romantic love etc.. this way I get both, more hubs, focused content and I get to say what I want to say, and the reader can choose their topics, hence which hubs appeal to them, if they later want to know more they can go to that other more inbformative hub..
      
        still then I agree more editing even in this format needs to be done.. but this is a start
      
      any comments on this idea of how to fix my problem (other than telling me I need to edit it I get that part.. but what do you think of my idea to series a big topic to get the hologram of a subject out there without overwhelming the reader?
      
      Jerrico

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         darksideposted 17 years agoin reply to this

         I went through a period where I borrowed every book about writing from every library I could get to.
         
         I also bought a few of the outstanding ones.
         
         Take every opportunity to learn. Sure there's a lot of information on the Internet but most of it is regurgitated, so try and beg, borrow or buy real books.
         
         Not all of the books available are worth the paper they're written on, but you might find one decent chapter that'll teach you more than you hoped for.
         
         I even wrote a short hub about it.

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   Marisa Wrightposted 17 years ago

   Exactly, Darkside!
   
   I had a novelist friend who was a  natural writer.  Words tumbled out of her like water from a spring.  She had a real gift for characterisation and description, but her books were vast unmanageable tomes and they weren't enjoyable to read, in spite of her obvious gifts.
   
   Fiction writers often critique each others' work.  Not long after I met her, she asked me to critique one of her pieces and I really didn't know what to say, there was so much that needed to be done.  I chose a couple of key points and didn't mention the rest, but suggested that it might be an idea to join a writers' group locally.
   
   She did, and what a difference it made. She's now published (in e-books, but not self-published) and gathering a following.  But it takes her at least twice as long to edit a book as it does to write it.  It's a sign of how good a writer she now is, that she was able to take on board criticism - which is always hard for a writer - and that she is willing to put in the hard slog to polish her work till it shines.
   
   It's the old story about talent being 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.  I wish I was that talented!!

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   Marisa Wrightposted 17 years ago

   Jerrico, I can't resist!  I've edited your post.  See what you think. 
   
   You'll see that I've reduced the word count from 617 to 250.  It could actually be edited far more drastically than I've done here, but I've tried to keep your wording rather than paraphrasing. 
   
   The first thing I did was delete a lot of unnecessary little words.  The other major thing I did was delete repetition.  You're inclined to say something, then repeat it another way - you need to learn to trust your reader to get it the first time!
   
   The final edit was to delete your examples, because they didn't make your explanations any clearer.  On this thread you're discussing the need for editing, not discussing the contents of your Hubs, so going into detail about the content is completely irrelevant.
   
   I don't doubt you have readers who like what you write, but I'm almost certain it's in spite of your writing style, not because of it.  Reading your stuff is a bit like panning for gold - you have to fight your way through the rocks to find the nuggets of gold.  Some readers will be prepared to do that, others won't.  Your responsibility as a writer is to do the panning for your readers, so they get the gold and none of the dross!
   
   Here's my version of your post:
   
   "I think I definitely need an external editor, as I can never seem to find anything that needs to be removed.  Most of what I write is naturally long NOT because of being overly analyzed but because of the amount of data I have to offer. 
   
   So I'm working on segmenting a complex topic into several Hubs in a series e.g. decoding love would be:
   
   romantic love
   chemical reactions of love
   love at first site and so on...
   
   Each Hub will be self-sufficient but also carry some information vital to the next, so readers realize they have a choice to learn more, or stick to that focused topic.  In this fashion I can go all out in explaining chemical reactions in one Hub, then in other Hubs on, say, romantic love I can stick to the romance of love and just touch on the chemicals, including links to the chemical hub for those who want to understand them in more detail.
   
   If I wrote the whole thing into one hub I'd surely get people saying I need to focus more. This way I get more hubs, focused content and I get to say what I want to say, and the reader can choose their topics, hence which hubs appeal to them.
   
   Still then I agree more editing even in this format needs to be done.. but this is a start.  Any comments on how to fix my problem (other than telling me I need to edit it I get that part).

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      Jerrico Usherposted 17 years agoin reply to this

      Quite interresting really.. I have and am aware of my repeditive (sayin in one way then another) writing.. I've been told (and agree) that removing this one thing in most of my writing will improve it significantly (yes yes, stop the panning and allow them to find gold more quickly) what you said made alot of sense.. the problem isnt in knowing this its in being able to myself remove something trusting they will get my point.. I have been writing for some time now yet I have much to learn about formatting and such things you discussed.. kinda answers the question of what good it would do to go to a writing class eh? hehe thanks for your help.. I have to admit I was a bit annoyed with your constant flagging of my writing (at least however you pointed out the good too) but perserverance has taught me that one shouldnt be quick to judge (isabella also taught me a few nuggets in this arena).. due to emotional back lashing so to speak.. but you make alot of relevant (although who wants to hear they are doing anything wrong?) points..
      
      this post actually changed that irritance(spell?) I felt for you.. I actually at some points with other hubers avoided reading your criticizing posts.. but now realize you were merely trying to help us see what we didnt want to accept.. so thank you humbly.. I guess it just took a thriving example of what you were saying (who can deny a real example? it lacks ego, but shows only the truth right?)
      
      I'll work on it, and look forward to your criticism... did I just say that? lol enjoy your day..
      
      Jerrico

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         Jerrico Usherposted 17 years agoin reply to this

         Also I somewhat feel you've made me see something in myself I always see in others and couldnt understand.. interresting how things are arent they? I often do as you do, politely tell people when their making a mistake in hopes of helping them grow, and often they become easily offended by my audacity to tell them anything.. this confused me to no end, why would you not want to learn to be better?
         
         take my advice or leave it to me it matters not, but why be so arrogant about the idea that I tried to help? Possibly because in I, myself projecting their same mistake I am no better a teacher to them than a bum trying to peddle a course in how to make riches beyond your wildest dreams, yet (this is not me just an example to illistrate my point) I myself not having anything but this brown box I live in on the street and pettling my hand written course on wealth? It makes sense now why even if your information is right, real and worthy if you yourself are blinded by your own resonance with the problem you know but know not how to in yourself follow your own preaching.. why others would not be quick to take "good" advice! those who can do do, those who can't teach.. to me is a temporary term (those who cant do can teach and eventually can learn to do it just takes courage) but makes the point.. some people know the road but havent walked it.. me I walked it but somehow found myself falling off the road and yet the knowledge (not practical application) was still there and being taught.. but evidenced by my lack of awareness that I was projecting the opposite of my own advice?
         
         I myself thought I accepted the same criticism well but found today that I have not.. although I do 90% of the time accept constructive criticism in compliment to my growth, after all I do not know it all and who better to point out my shortcomings than others? but I think what I realized today was that it wasnt in humblingly accepting others criticism not as law but as a suggestion.. it was in accepting these things in areas I arrogantly accepted I knew well (due to my past successes not current?).. in sensitive areas I'm finding are those where I truly believe I know better.. but truth is my greatest weakness lies in not accepting that even in areas I feel I know well, I could be weak, or missing something..
         
         I believe it comes in writing by my compliments, my often popularity of my writing, of how they love the way I write that puts them inside my head, humor and all and so on I believe has made me arrogant and weak in the perfecting my work.. I wonder how much good criticism I've not accepted on that prescetance?  as Dr. Phill said.. you have to name it to claim it, make good decisions then pull the trigger... good advice! you've humbled me in one forum post.. thank you.. I discovered a weakness I never knew existed.. I wonder however in others I've pointed this out to how many I saw only because it was myself I was seeing in their arrogance.. a few come to mind.. but in the end it was me that needed (them too but to me more importantly me) to see it.. why did I not see it in my bashing them on the topic, claiming the audacity for them to be so arrogant and unyeilding when I myself was no different in some circumstances? I think I've decoded my passion and anger (to unusual degrees) with my tiff with Isabella.. she was but a lesson I didnt catch until now.. wow. (no offense Isabella).
         
         Perhaps I should write a hub on this.. seems to me a good topic that is worthy of writing and researching more on..   *wink*
         
         Jerrico

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   Marisa Wrightposted 17 years ago

   Jerrico, the hardest thing for a writer is to accept criticism.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, I wrote a fair bit of fiction at one point, and one of the things that fiction writers do is share and critique each other's work.    So I know, only too well, how difficult it is to hear someone criticise what you've written! 
   
   Actually I have a half-finished novel thanks to that.   I wrote the first 30,000 words of it, then got stuck.  I didn't like the direction the characters were driving the story, because it wasn't developing as I had planned.  So instead of letting the story develop from my characters, I forced the story to go where I wanted it to go - in a direction I felt was more "saleable".  When I gave the book to my critique partners, they spotted the change immediately, praising the first half and panning the rest pretty savagely.  I was upset at first, but eventually I had to admit they were right.  I still haven't finished the thing - it's daunting to throw away 50,000 words and start again! 
   
   It's a major step when you can stand back and acknowledge the critic may have a point, so kudos to you for that.  As to how you begin - of course, a writing course is never wasted, but I would start with the method I suggested:  every time you write a Hub, write it as you normally would, then check the word count, and go back and work on it until you've reduced it by about half.  And I don't mean cheating by splitting it up into two Hubs!   Instead, focus on your unnecessary words and repetitions.  You may be surprised how much that cuts it down.  Good luck!

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      Jerrico Usherposted 17 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe you should take the story to the point where you started "forcing" the direction and remove the rest as if it were never written, read your whole story to that point then free write (type) in a more intuitive way and write what really comes to mind.. I dont see any need to start over.. just start where the charictors left off and allow them to own their lives again.. if you dont like the direction dont let it interfere, just keep going, when your done you can critique it then and make changes to the peices not the format..  understand what I mean?
      
      Jerrico

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8. 87

   Marisa Wrightposted 17 years ago

   Jerrico, I'm not going to start the whole thing over.  The first 30,000 words is fine.  What I need to do, as you say, is start again at the point where I went wrong.  Throw away the next 50,000 words as if they've never been written - but it's like throwing away a piece of me! 
   
   Eventually I'll feel less attached to it and will be able to get going on it.  Right now, I don't have the long spells of undisturbed time that I need to focus on novel writing.  The short bursts I have available right now are more suited to article writing.
   
   BTW on this forum, if you are replying to a post immediately before yours, it's not necessary to re-quote the whole post in your reply.  It's easier to read if you just include the one or two most relevant sentences.

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   darksideposted 17 years ago

   Editing is also a good idea to delete all the stuff in a post that you're quoting that is not directly relevant to your reply.

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    VioletSunposted 17 years ago

    Hi, ShadoeofGrey:
    
    
    Your goals are very good, and the written word can reach many. I once attended a cable show taping in New York that was designed to bring awareness about folks with disabilities. Christopher Reeve was the main speaker, and his upbeat attitude was very inspiring!  I enjoyed the taping,  because it brought awareness to the general population that folks with disabilities are just like anybody else, with their goals, dreams, passions, quirks, etc., but are dealing with a more difficult challenge which sometimes needs accomodations, but who in life does not have something to deal with?
    
    I know about disabilities, because I am hearing impaired, was not born with this challenge,  but have had a perfectly normal life and a good career.  Its all a matter of attitude,  I learned as I got older, and when one is not self conscious about our challenges or anything about ourselves for that matter, most people are very open minded and helpful (at least it has been so, in my life experience.)

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    d mitchellposted 17 years ago

    If my 2 cents can be cashed here...
    
    Just a quick suggestion from a man who has seen his fair share of writing workshops and criticism.  I was standoffish when it came to books on writing, helium headed and cocksure of my own direction.  That is a foolish path my friends.  I may not agree with all that is found in the book I'm close to recommending, but I can assure you it does staff your toolshed with a few tools every writer should humbly reach for.  Namely, we need to remember we are not writing for solely for ourselves... what our eyes smile at might just need some trimming nonetheless.
    
    So, pick this up if you get a chance, it is a good read from a seasoned editor.  I'm at odds with him more often that not, but experience is something worth admiring and acknowledging.  Think of it as a magnifying glass for your work.  It has sections for both fiction and non fiction.  I'm sure many of you have already come across it, if so, I'd love to hear what you think.
    
    Stein on Writing by Sol Stein
    
    Happy New Year to all, also.  Be safe, well and warm wherever you may celebrate.
    
    d

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       darksideposted 17 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for the tip!

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