Aaargh, thar, matey! What's that yer be sayin' thar?

1. 88

   Zsuzsy Beeposted 9 years ago

   (My grandaughter just sent me a bunch of pirate jokes...Share some too)
   
   
   
   One pirate said to his fellow crewmate, "Arrrgh, that be a mighty fine lookin' hook and peg leg ye got for ye'self!"
   The pirate replied, "Aaargh, a'd be thinkin so, it cost me an arm and a leg!"
   
   
   
   
   There once was an old pirate captain, and this captain had a son who had no ears. One day the pirate captain picked up some new crew members. As the new recruits got on board the captain told them about his son, and that he was very sensitive about the fact that he had no ears. He said that if they offended his son by saying any thing about his ears they would have to walk the plank! The new pirates were naturally nervous about meeting this boy.
   
   Well, after a while some of the pirates met the boy. The first pirate tried not to look at him, but he couldn't handle it and kept staring. The boy yelled "What are you looking at!?" Hurried to think of an excuse, the pirate said "I was just admiring your hand! Take care of your hand, or you will have to wear a hook like me." "Thank you for the advice", said the boy.
   
   Soon a second pirate met the boy. When he was caught staring at the boy the boy shouted "What are you looking at!?" "I was just admiring your leg," said the pirate. "You take good care of your leg there, or you will have to wear a wooden leg like me!" "Thank you for the advice," said the boy.
   
   Later a third pirate saw the boy and stared. When the boy said "What are you looking at!?" the pirate said "I was just admiring your eyes. You take care of your eyes or you will have to wear glasses like me... and you can't wear glasses, because you don't have any ears to hold them up!"
   
   
   
   
   After the storm the pirate captain was marooned on a deserted island. As he explored his desolate surroundings, he noticed that he couldn't find any wildlife.
   There was plenty of fresh water, an abundance of coconuts and tropical fruit, and even a nice cache of rum. Finally, after days of searching, he thought he heard the sound of a chicken clucking.
   When he found the source of the sound it was actually a parrot prancing around making the clucking sounds of a chicken.
   The pirate told the parrot "Stop that clucking. You're not a chicken. You're a parrot. There are no chickens on this bloody island."
   The parrot ignored him and continued to prance around saying "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken."
   The pirate couldn't believe how stupid the parrot was, so he repeated, "I said, stop that clucking! You're not a chicken! You're a parrot! There are no chickens on this bloody island!"
   The parrot ignored him again and pranced around saying "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken."
   The pirate took out his knife and this time he said "I'm really hungry, I think I'll eat this stupid chicken!"
   As the parrot flew away, he squawked "I'm a parrot! I'm a parrot! There are no stupid chickens on this bloody island!"

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2. 0

   Will Bensonposted 9 years ago

   Good jokes. Here's an old one.
   
   A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What happened to you. You look terrible."
   
   Pirate: What's wrong with the way I look?
   
   Bartender: Well, the last time I saw you, you had both legs. Now one is a pegleg.
   
   Pirate: Oh that. Well, in a sea battle, a cannonball took off me leg but this pegleg works just fine.
   
   Bartender: The last time I saw you, you had both hands, now you've got a hook.
   
   Pirate: Oh that. Well, a worthy adversary cut off my hand in a sword duel. But, I've got this hook and it works just fine.
   
   Bartender: What about the patch? The last time I saw you, you had both eyes.
   
   Pirate: Oh that. Well, a bird flew over and I happened to look up and it pooped in my eye.
   
   Bartender: What? A bird pooped in your eye and you lost the eye?
   
   Pirate. Aye. It was me first day with the hook.
   
   (Groan). Good hub & funny. Thanks.

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3. 60

   DogSiDaedposted 9 years ago

   Ahhh a nice refreshing upbeat forum post! This is more like it!

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