Please critique my new hubpage

1. 0

   assemberposted 9 years ago

   Hi All, I 've published a new hubpage on companies in the United kingdom. I will be expanding the content of the webpage with time.
   There is quite a bit  of information to come

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   assemberposted 9 years ago

   I do appologise, I left out the link, here it is
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/companies-limited-by-shares

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   lrohnerposted 9 years ago

   To be honest, assember, I couldn't get past the spelling and punctuation errors in the first few paragraphs. I guess I'm just anal that way...

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   assemberposted 9 years ago

   Oh Dear, Must do better, I'll be back
   
   Thanks

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   lynnechandlerposted 9 years ago

   I took a look at it and agree with Irohner there are still at least two typos in the first paragragh, a he that should be the and an of that should be off.
   
   Now, with that said, here is my impression and take it for what you will I am no expert.
   
   I think you should move the opening paragraph. Starting with the disclaimer kinda put me off the whole thing. You need something that will hook your reader in and make them understand that this article talks about how to set up a company. The large picture of The Company building could be minimalized and you could add in a few more smaller pics of contract docs etc.
   
   Again, this is just my opinion so take it for what it is worth.

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6. 62

   yoshi97posted 9 years ago

   critique: a brutally honest review given of one's writing with the hope it will help the author grow and become a master of their craft
   
   Now, that's not the official definition, but that's *my* definition, so I'm going to be brutally honest, but I'm also going to help you grow and if you read up until the end ... I promise to make it all feel positive with hope (I swarez it!)
   
   Okay, let's start with the fee of the article. It's a bit stiff and formal and reads more like something in a text book. However, the best articles are informal, breezy, and inviting to the reader, so as to keep them reading. A reader wants to feel like they are having something discussed with them, rather than being told something.
   
   i.e.
   
   'Dogs require a lot of care. XYZ is a med that cures everything. That's why vets recommend it.'
   
   Now, that's informative, but that's all it is. And this is fine ... provided you are willing to fulfill the role of someone's encyclopedia and care nothing about adsense. Now, come here while I whisper this into your ear ... give 'em something they'll enjoy. Make it coversational, like so ...
   
   'We all know that dogs require a lot of care, but did you know they have a medicine caled XYZ that cures everything? Amazed? I know I was. Arthritis, dermititis, heartwork, roundworm, you name it. Let me give you some some great info on this wonderdrug!'
   
   So much less informal and so much more inviting ... and so easy to do.
   
   Challenge yourself. Pretend you are totally excited by what you are about to discuss and you want to infect another person with your excitement! Talk to them informally and try to get them buzzed as well. Then ... write what you would say to them, write down the responses you would anticipate, then write down your replies. When you are done with this, cross out their replies and reword for it to make sense ... only supplying the pieces of their responses to make it all make sense.
   
   Does it work?
   
   You bet your sweet bippy it does!
   
   Why?
   
   It's a bit of psychology at work... You see, by doing this you are anticipating what will be going through the reader's mind and you will be answering the questions that you assume they will be asking. The reader will be pulled into the article because you will be answering their questions as they occur, which will make them impressed with your knowledge of the topic and will build enough trust that they will consider you an authority on the topic and might click an ad.
   
   Written in a dry manner they perceive it's just material drawn from elsewhere and they get frustrated when it doesn't answer their questions, that's why conversational articles sell over the crowd very well.
   
   Trust Yoshi on this one!
   
   So, now that I've beat you up a bit I need to put you all back together again. Luckily, that's an easy one as you do appear to have a good amount of worthy information to deliver and you seem to know what you are talking about. If presented well, this material will work well with the masses.
   
   Also, I agree ... no disclaimers at the beginning ... always save them for last - or for a moment where they come directly into play. Even then, deliver them as part of your conversation with the reader.
   
   Remember, if the reader is involved then you have what you want ... an interested reader. Now go out there and win one for the Yoshi!

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      lyricsingrayposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      If I may be brutally honest Yoshi, you just friggin helped me out - thanks buddy xo

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7. 86

   KCC Big Countryposted 9 years ago

   OMG....what a great piece of advice Yoshimeister!  I'm serious.  You couldn't have presented that any better.  It should be required reading for all hubbers. (new and old)  *applauds*

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8. 62

   yoshi97posted 9 years ago

   Does that mean I gotta put it in a hub?

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9. 86

   KCC Big Countryposted 9 years ago

   Why not?  It's great advice, might as well make some adsense on it.

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10. 62

    yoshi97posted 9 years ago

    once again, ya make sense ... I'll do it this weekend when I have off work.

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       Laura du Toitposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Looking forward to this hub!

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11. 86

    KCC Big Countryposted 9 years ago

      I'll be watching to make sure you do.

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12. 0

    Nelle Hoxieposted 9 years ago

    If you're going to have an opening paragraph without a product beside it, then make it long enough so that you get another block of adsense ads to the right.
    
    I've become quite fond of the format where the opening paragraph is long enough for a stripe of google adsense to the right with an Ebay product on top of the adsense. That way it's not all text, and there's a little picture for them to click on if they are so inclined. Or they'll click an ad.
    
    Yoshi did a fantastic job on describing the feel of a hub, so I'd listen to what he has to say as well. I usually pretend that my sister and I are out shopping and having a talk to get into the chatty style of a hub.
    
    I think that you're on the right track. Looking forward to more of your stuff.

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13. 64

    prettydarkhorseposted 9 years ago

    WOW, Yoshi, am learning a lot, and also from others, thanks to all!!

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14. 83

    Suki Cposted 9 years ago

    As a newbie I'm still learning and, unlike other forums that I participate in, I'm amazed at the level of friendliness and helpful advice to be found here.
    
    Yoshie - I wish that there was a way of bookmarking your excellent advice - I await your hub on the subect with much anticipation
    
    Suki

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