Critique Please

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   JackyDragonposted 12 years ago

   Hello all,
   
   I would like some constructive criticism on my very first hub please.
   
   http://jackydragon.hubpages.com/hub/What-is-debt
   
   Thanks in advance.

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      agilitymachposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It's very good!!  I especially liked the tables you had showing how borrowing from banks or credit card companies is more expensive than purchasing outright.
      
      The article lacked some smoothness though.  There were no transition sentences from one subject to the next.  For instance when you started talking about credit cards, you just jumped into facts rather than transitioning more slowly.  Some sort of sentence like, "Credit cards are another form of debt, and can seem like fast money to the user.  Let's examine how credit cards work" would ease the reader into the new section.  Otherwise the article feels a bit choppy.
      
      The video link was excellent.
      
      For search engines to better follow you, you might want to look at making your title a bit longer with more information.  They say to use phrases in the title that someone might use in a Google search when looking for information on debt and how to get themselves out of it, for instance.  I know college students do really struggle with this topic.
      
      A small punctuation issue occurs in the below segement.  I would put a colon at the end of the first statement as that is not a true sentence.
      
      "A few examples of questions one can ask themselves. What motivated me to buy this? Why did I have to put it on account? Why did I not pay cash? Was it convenient? Was I purchasing to impress? Was I purchasing to be trendy?"
      
      BTW, I'm no hubber expert myself, though, so do keep that in mind.
      
      Overall, I think it's a fantastic first effort!!  Good job!!

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      1. 60

         JackyDragonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Hi agilitymach,
         
         Thanks a lot.
         
         I added a couple of paragraphs to make the article smoother. Hopefully helping one topic transition into the other? I corrected the punctuation and ended up using bullets instead.
         
         I did the google key word search and that was the title with the most hits. My tags matched the ones I found with the key word also. They also fit with what the article is about.  Do I need to have a different title or a longer one?
         
         Can you let me know what you think about the changes so far?
         
         Thanks in advance.

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         1. 95

            agilitymachposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Your hub appears to be down.  It sounds like you know more about titles than I do.   If the title is good for getting Google hits, I'd leave it alone.
            
            When you hub gets back up, let me know.  I'd love to look at it again.

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               JackyDragonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Heck no, I only read about the titles on a 'how to hub' and followed the instructions as best I could. I will leave it alone until I am told otherwise thanks.
               
               I just went in to edit my hub and it had a warning. The warning said that it was submitted for publication. Hubpages think it was a "how to get out of debt hub" ? They need to check it for outgoing links to affiliates?  I sent an email telling them it wasn't that type of hub. The only links I have on it are ones to other hubbers hubs. One of the links I added from another hubber was a 'how to get out of debt' hub. Maybe they assessed it on that? Will let you know if it gets published by hubpages.
               
               Not a good start?

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                  agilitymachposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  I think it's a great start.  Let me know when it's released again.

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2. 60

   JackyDragonposted 12 years ago

   Will do that, thanks!

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   JackyDragonposted 12 years ago

   Hubpages it has been over 72 hours now. Is anyone going to moderate my hub or not?
   
   Maybe Ill go to help.

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4. 60

   JackyDragonposted 12 years ago

   Hey agilitymach, They have published it now. Can you check the changes and give me your feedback? Or anyone else with a critical eye?

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