Please can you check my article!

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  1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
    TessSchlesingerposted 5 months ago

    https://hubpages.com/travel/Olvera-Spai … in-the-Sun

    I've been working on this flat out this morning for about four hours and I'm now so brain dead I can't see what else needs to be fixed.

    Can you please check it out. I'm aware that there are probably quite a few grammatical errors.

    Thank you.

    1. theraggededge profile image99
      theraggededgeposted 5 months agoin reply to this

      I don't think villages are referred to as 'she' smile

      "The community also prides herself...", neither are communities.

      The TV series is called "A Place in the Sun"

      "Bits about Olvera"? Facts About Olvera might be better?

      Sub-heading capitalisation issues. Need to be consistent.

      Hope that helps.

      1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
        TessSchlesingerposted 5 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks. Does it matter if the TV series is called "A Place in the Sun?" That's why I selected it. It's not copyright to use a phrase in the English language.

        1. theraggededge profile image99
          theraggededgeposted 5 months agoin reply to this

          No, but you called it something else, 'There's a Place in the Sun'. That would be incorrect smile

          1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
            TessSchlesingerposted 5 months agoin reply to this

            I'm sorry, I'm missing something here. The phrase, 'a place in the sun,' is quite a common phrase in the English language. A TV series in the UK co-opted the phrase, precisely because it was such a cliched phrase. So I'm still unsure of what you're saying. I'm not going to change it.

            1. theraggededge profile image99
              theraggededgeposted 5 months agoin reply to this

              The name of the series is 'A Place in the Sun'. You called it 'There's a Place in the Sun'. Do you see what I'm saying? When referring to a TV series, you should call it by the correct title.

              It has nothing to do with common phrases or copyright.

              https://www.aplaceinthesun.com/tv-show

              Edit: this is what you have on your hub:

              "Having watched the TV series, 'There's a place in the sun,' and knowing how important views are to some people..."

              1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
                TessSchlesingerposted 5 months agoin reply to this

                ??? My article has nothing to do with the TV series. I am using a phrase that is fairly common in travel magazines, songs, etc. for SEO purposes.

                1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
                  TessSchlesingerposted 5 months agoin reply to this

                  Aha!!!! I got it. Sorry. My brain is completely bent. I shall attend to it in the morning when my brain is clear. Thank you for pointing it out!

                2. theraggededge profile image99
                  theraggededgeposted 5 months agoin reply to this

                  Edit: Ahhh.... I knew we'd get there in the end smile

                  1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
                    TessSchlesingerposted 5 months agoin reply to this

                    Long story. I'll tell you in the morning. Truly, my head is mush tonight. smile

    2. robhampton profile image98
      robhamptonposted 5 months agoin reply to this

      I like the thumbnail pictures. I think I should start incorporating that feature in my articles

  2. Kierstin Gunsberg profile image99
    Kierstin Gunsbergposted 5 months ago

    Tess, your article is beautiful! The pictures are amazing! I think that an issue I'm noticing right away that may be keeping it from a niche site is that the actual text of your piece is under 1,000 words. Personally, with my own articles, I've noticed that anything under 1,000 words is looked over by editors for niche sites, especially if the ratio of pictures to words is off.

    Here are some subtexts that I think would add both depth and word count to your piece:

    - 200-350 words on the local cuisine.

    - 80-150 words, tips on backpacking or traveling by foot through the city (including a list of what to bring with you, what to pack in your backpack, what kinds of shoes to wear...).

    - 80-150 words on what means of travel are available there (besides walking) and how to obtain it.

    - 80-150 words on how much money to bring with you for lodging, food, souvenirs etc.

    I think this is a lovely piece that gives a glimpse into a place most of us will never get to go, but for those who may be searching for travel tips to Olvera, Spain, you want to cast your net wider smile

    1. TessSchlesinger profile image94
      TessSchlesingerposted 5 months agoin reply to this

      Thanks. That is absolutely brilliant. I'll carry on with it tomorrow. The photos took me forever! I still have to label them. And my brain was so bent, I couldn't think of anything more. Great input. smile

  3. TessSchlesinger profile image94
    TessSchlesingerposted 5 months ago

    Hi everybody,

    It took me a while to get back to it, but I can finally start working on my hp articles again. Had a lot on my plate!

    So, belated, it may be, but I have taken all your suggestions into account, and improved it as much as I can.

    Please will you verify that it is all now spic and span! smile

    https://hubpages.com/travel/Olvera-Spai … in-the-Sun

 
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