I'd like feedback on my article: Gods beauty - a girl

1. 57

   Upasana rathposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Gods beauty - a girl (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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2. 79

   Jeremy Gillposted 7 years ago

   Upasana, this article need some drastic work. The grammar is poor, the title isn't capitalized properly, there are no images to provide visual appeal, and it's too short--aim for at least 700 words (more if possible). Maybe browse some published hubs from others to get a feel for what's needed, and best of luck.

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3. 83

   Rupert Taylorposted 7 years ago

   Your headline is not going to work well with a search engine, which is how readers are going to find you.You have to think about what someone is going to type into a search field that will take them to your offering. Also, from a grammar and style point of view, it should be God's Beauty - a Girl
   
   There are quite a few grammar errors such as a space in front of a comma. "This is the way how I see a girl.. .. . .. ." Should be This is how I see a girl.
   
   A long run-on sentence such as this is very difficult to follow and should be broken up into discreet sentences.
   "She is the only Person who has the strength to change the whole world, who has the strength to bear every pain strength to take each and every and everybody's responsibilities and tolerate the pain when she has chemical and hormonal changes in her body which starts when she is a teen and ends when she is a middle aged woman."
   
   Articles need an introduction that tells the reader what is going to follow.
   
   Your article is too short and is really a blog not the informative, magazine-style articles HubPages is looking for.
   
   To be successful here you need to spend time at the Learning Center here
   https://hubpageshelp.com/

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   1. 57

      Upasana rathposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you sir for your feedback. I had not written in the way it has been published. It's a free verse poem but I am unable to frame it.. That paragraph was something like this,
      "She is the only Person
      who has the strength to change the whole world,
      who has the strength to bear every pain
      strength to take each and every and everybody's responsibilities
      And tolerate the pain
      when she has chemical and hormonal changes in her body which starts when she is a teen
      and ends when she is a middle aged woman."
      But it constantly gets changed into a paragraph.

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   2. 57

      Upasana rathposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      A girl is born not to be perfect in her
      looks, attitude, personality and every work she does ,
      she is born to be unique
      
      She wears her uniqueness as an ornament,
      that makes her look even more beautiful than she looks when she wears her gold and diamond ornaments
      
      She is the only Person
      who has the strength to change the whole world,
      who has the strength to bear every pain
      strength to take each and every and everybody's responsibilities and
      tolerate the pain when she has chemical and hormonal changes in her body
      which starts when she is a teen and ends
      when she is a middle aged woman
      
      She is the only person
      who has a smile on her face to say how happy she is
      when she is sad and broken from inside.
      
      Her anger and her revenge
      has the power to wreck a person to the worst
      which can even
      wreck herself to the worst.
      There is always a reason behind her
      happiness ,sadness and  revenge
      
      She has the power to sacrifice
      , sacrifice everything
      just for a smile on the faces of her
      beloved ones.
      Tears never roll down her face
      unless and until someone has smashed her heart
      with actions and words
      into tiny pieces
      which cannot be revived
      
      Never go on her face
      she is always bright ,cheerful twinkling from outside
      Once look into her
      she is all dark from inside
      not with evilness
      but with pain and sorrow.

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