I'd like feedback on my article: Your tap water is it safe

1. 58

   Cashwrite360posted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Your tap water is it safe (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 94

      Jeremy Gillposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Cash, we can't help you until you write something that's somewhere close to being a Hub. This "article" is far too short with only one picture and atrocious grammar. To have any hope of ever being published, drastic changes will be needed.
      
      Review some writing from more experienced Hubbers to get a feel for what's needed.

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         Cashwrite360posted 7 years agoin reply to this

         It is because I'm writing from a small smartphone that is why

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   2. 76

      psycheskinnerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You article quite frankly makes no sense.

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   3. 68

      yogaburnclubposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      This is a great article but needs some polishing to make it featured.Please consider the following.
      
      1. Revising the title make it more attractive and specific aim at getting attention with the title, selecting a specific audience that you will address in your article.Make sure the titles deliver a complete message. The title should be written in a way that draws the reader to read the entire article.
      2. Use multiple capsules in your article video, pools, photos and quotes that will make your article more appealing.
      3.Use subtitle in your work this will make your work easy to read.
      4. Make use of short paragraphs that are simple to read.
      5. Read the qualities of a stellar article on Hubpage that will give you more ideas on what you are to write about.
      I wish you all the best in your writing.

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      1. 90

         theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Yogaburnclub, this is far from being a 'great article'. It's actually quite far from being anything other than some garbled words. Did you actually read and understand it?

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         1. 94

            Jeremy Gillposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Definitely not a great article; I'm guessing that was simply intended to be motivational. The tips offered are solid, though.

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            1. 94

               Jeremy Gillposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Just read more forum posts and noticed that's how Yogaburn begins every suggestion.
               
               Yoga, it's awesome to offer a polite critique, but be careful about what you call "great" or you'll have some of us scratching our heads lol.

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               1. 68

                  yogaburnclubposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  Hi  Gill
                  I know but its good you encourage and motivate someone that there is room for improvement.We do not want people to quit but learn from our feedback and keep on improving their writing.

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                  1. 90

                     theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                     Oh, we actually do want some people to quit Present company excepted, of course.
                     
                     I understand what you are saying about encouraging people, but don't tell them the work is great if it isn't. If you actually read it properly you'll see that it's based on a nonsensical claim. No-one's tap water is connected to their sewage outlet. Or if it is, they should sue the plumber.
                     
                     "Right there is a simple experiment you can do, all you need to do is check in the bathroom if you kitchen pipes and toilet pipes are connected most bathrooms you can see them. That is the water from the toilet and the sink being circulated round cleaned out and back out your tap as water and back as normal water in your toilet. "
                     
                     So really, this article will never be approved. It can't be fixed as it stands, grammar corrections or not. If, however, the OP decided to write an article about how a domestic plumbing system works, where it might have issues and how they can be fixed, then that would be fine. Or, if he wrote a more (well-researched) controversial article about drinking water, its sources and the process of making it 'fit to drink', that would be good too.
                     
                     There's a difference between giving encouragement to someone with writing potential (like Jewel in the other thread, who you slapped down) and someone who thinks that all it takes to make money at HubPages is to post a mixed up, wild, unresearched claim on a smartphone. They've obviously not bothered to do any research on HP at all. Not one iota. Therefore, a good slap upside the head can be a good thing for them. They'll either rise to the challenge and show us what they can do, or they will disappear, never to be heard from again.
                     
                     The key for you, Yogaburnclub, is to read what they actually wrote and try to discern whether it could be a good article, or whether it's a load of tosh written by someone who thinks they are writing for Bubblews.
                     
                     You often give good advice, but not every hub needs polls and videos and all that extraneous stuff. One decent image and some well-written words will do fine in many cases.

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                     1. 84

                        Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                        +1,000,000

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                  2. 74

                     ml33posted 7 years agoin reply to this

                     i'm with you yogaburnclub 100% .  Also, I could make sense of the article and apparently I am the only one who picked up on the fact that he was talkin about a water treatment plant, not that his plumbing is hooked up to his sewage. 
                     Here's a fact.  "In 2015, 77 million American's lived in places where the tap water was unsafe to drink - and most of the people are unaware of this."  So I think he has a valid point to a decent article - he just needs to build on it.
                     Try to look at it as a rough draft, and get over yourself.

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                     1. 76

                        psycheskinnerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                        It is a rough draft that even after being rewritten a few times is full of completely wrong information.  Low pH is acid not alkaline, and tap water if 6.5-8.5 in the US and varies wildly in other counties not 8.  Pretty much every other statement in there is equally incorrect.
                        
                        While the author works on getting someone in the vicinity of accuracy, this is out there as a example of what Hubpages provides, namely complete misinformation.  Sorry, but that bothers me.

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                        1. 94

                           Jeremy Gillposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                           I agree that the article needs drastic work and isn't currently a good reflection of HubPages. Still, I'll point out it's not Featured and won't show up in searches, so I doubt many potential readers will be turned away.
                           
                           To the author (Cash), you may want to write about another topic, one you have more knowledge of. That would involve much less fact checking.

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   4. 93

      melbelposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I would recommend a much clearer picture than the drawing shown. I can't tell what you're trying to explain and I'm a chemistry major. I recommend using Canva(dot)com to make a clearer diagram of what you're trying to explain. Also, use references to both write your content and as a citation for your readers to find more information. That way you're using a guideline for some of your article's claims and write more professionally.

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2. 90

   theraggededgeposted 7 years ago

   Hi Rais,
   
   You should spend a little time researching what HubPages is about, Standards are strict here so it might not be the right place for you. Articles must be well-researched, informative and with excellent grammar, spelling and punctuation. Without those qualities you won't be able to earn anything because your articles won't be approved for publication.
   
   These links will help you decide:
   
   https://hubpages.com/faq/
   https://hubpageshelp.com/content/Learni … at-content
   https://hubpageshelp.com/
   
   Good luck!

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3. 67

   Breelyn Sirkposted 7 years ago

   It's way too short for another thing. Try to make it 4 times longer, and that is a start. The grammar also does need improvement. Also, there is no evidence to back up your claims, Only your word. P.S tap water is very safe and legally has to be here in the U.S. And a lot of times, no the toilet and the kitchen sink are not connected. (My live in bf is an apartment maintenance manager so that is how I know). This is why you need to provide evidence and facts in articles.

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4. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hey cash, even from a smartphone, you can write a grammatical error free article.
   In fact, recently Hubpages has made writing from mobile phones simpler than before.
   I have written all my articles from my smartphone.
   I suggest, you write on apps like Grammarly.  It will rectify most of your errors.
   If you are good at learning, going through articles of the other Hubbers will teach you how to write as per hubpages standards.

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5. 74

   ml33posted 7 years ago

   I think that this is the rudest thread I have ever read here! I have a feeling this writer is young, and is obviously brand new here, and excited. 
   My advice to you kid:  follow the tips of the people in this thread who actually took the time to try to help you instead of wasting their time and yours by leaving you completely negative feedback that doesn't help anyone whatsoever.  I think you're going in the right direction.  1) Spend a day or two going over your hub and adding multiple capsules - it will make your work look neater.  2) clean up your grammar a bit, it's not too bad.  3) add some more pictures, maybe a sewage treatment plant.  3) add that video you were references somewhere in the hub, maybe at the bottom.   
   Enjoy your time here at HubPages!

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   1. 98

      greenmindposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that the writer, all writers, should listen to constructive criticism and always try to improve their skills. However the ridiculous premise of this article -- that your toilet somehow delivers raw sewage straight to your tap -- dooms the effort. If the writer is serious about his or her craft, they will truly need to take a few lumps, learn from them, back up and start over. This Hub, in other words, cannot be saved. But the writer could be.

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      1. 90

         theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, anyone can learn to write if they have the will. Hence my first post advising him to do a little research on what HubPages is about.
         
         @Ml33 It may be the rudest thread you've seen, but it isn't by a long shot. We are here to help anyone make it if they want to. You also need to know that Ivan, who chimed in here, is very young, autistic, and not always able to know what is an appropriate response.
         
         If you were the only one who understood the article, then that tells you something - if it's not clear to 9 out of 10 readers, then it needs an awful lot of work to get it right.

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6. 82

   Azure11posted 7 years ago

   There have been some good constructive replies to help you with this article. I would add:
   
   - You need to change the grammar in the title e.g. Your Tap Water - Is it Safe?
   
   - As far as I remember from science (and just double checked with Google), neutral pH is 7 and so an pH of 8 is actually slightly alkaline, not acidic which is at the lower end of the scale, so that whole paragraph does not make sense.
   
   - the picture of the tap is not good quality and overwhelms the page (needs to be landscape not portrait and higher res with less background)
   
   - sewers by their nature contain human waste so I am not sure what your point is there

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   1. 98

      greenmindposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Azure this is all true and good advice. What do you think of the point that has been made several times here that the essential idea of the piece is wrong? No amount of proof-reading or grammar fixes can save it.

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         Azure11posted 7 years agoin reply to this

         That is a good question actually. I don't think that the article has much in the way of credibility and I would dismiss it out of hand if I came across it. Having said that I guess everyone has to start somewhere!

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7. 86

   Chriswillman90posted 7 years ago

   I'm surprised by the number of replies to this article. It's a terribly written, grammatically incorrect piece of fluff that would never be published anywhere.

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      greenmindposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah I'm actually starting to see that it has some troll-y aspects. Plus the OP has completely vanished.

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         theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         He does keep editing the article, so he's paying attention.

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      Jeremy Gillposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed, it's interesting to see the traffic. Then again, we've started discussing related topics, like whether even drastic editing could save the Hub, and where the lines falls between constructive criticism and rudeness.
      
      I've found it a fascinating chain; hopefully it's been useful for others as well.

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8. 0

   Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years ago

   Rais. You article has gotten a lot better, but your score is still in the upper 30s. pH of 8 is alkaline, hydrochloric acid has a ph of 0. In fact, hydrochloric acid is a mixture of Hydrogen and Chlorine. Your article needs a lot of improvements.

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   1. 90

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ivan's right, and the normal range of drinking water can be from 6.5 to 8.5. Your science teacher isn't a very good science teacher, I'm afraid. If he gave you that 'diagram' of the PH table, he has it all backwards. Neutral is 7, 1 is acidic, 10 is alkaline. Go Google it if you are not sure.
      
      Not sure whether you are in Birmingham, Alabama or Birmingham, UK but this link might help
      
      http://www.water.org.uk/policy/drinking … -standards
      
      Also, if you are in Birmingham, UK, then that is one of the few areas in the country that has fluoridated water. So, of course, there will be fluoride in it, as Mr Science Teacher will surely know, so not sure why he's so 'shocked' to find it there. And chlorine is used to kill germs - prevents you getting cholera, dysentery and such things.
      
      And what does having hydrochloric acid in your stomach got to do with it? You put vinegar on your chips, right? And you might want to check the 'goodness' of mineral water - you have heard of acid rain, haven't you? And what about the problems with BPA in plastic bottles?
      
      Have you found out the actual process of cleaning sewage water. Step-by-step?
      
      Rais, you need to do more work on it. Read some reliable sources of information. And it's not good to use the word p!ss in an article. Urine is the correct term.
      
      "Right the tap water you drink I'm really concerned to have found out that tap water that we as in you drink is not just normal water."
      
      That is not a coherent sentence. You have to work on that grammar. Try using the free online checker, Grammarly.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Bev´s right. I use Grammarly for everything. In fact, I need to edit the wrestling article with grammarly.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         And Rais, she´s right. You need to do more research. As I said before, you article score is, at best, upper 30s.

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      3. 93

         melbelposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Chemist here.
         Can confirm.
         Except with Ivan's earlier comment that the pH of HCl is 0. pH is dependent it is on molarity, 1mM HCl has a pH of 3.

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9. 0

   Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years ago

   Rais. I'm sorry I attacked you and your article. I provide honest truths. What I said was true. Upon initial inspection, you article needed drastic work. Now, I see that you've evolved into a butterfly with wings as far as the eye can see. I hope that when you release your article to the world, your article will go to a niche site. If that happens, then excellent work. If not, then excellent work as well.

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