You did ask for feedback. Here it comes.
First, you are not supposed to use the forum to promote your articles.
Second, the link at the end of the piece is spammy.
Third, your article is poorly written edu-babble. "Education among the years faced different challenges." That doesn't make any sense.
"Some issues may relate to" is not a sentence and then carries on after a line break with
"Domestic issues or family matters."
By now, I've given up reading because I'm irritated by the poor presentation and the fact that I'm learning nothing.
I do not think she is using the forum to promote her article. We have been told by HP staff to post articles that need to be improved. Her article needs a lot of help, and that is exactly what you are doing at exactly the right place.
I think the confusion comes when the term "Check out my new hub" is the problem. This does not sound like someone asking for help, it sounds like someone wanting people to read it and then tell the OP they loved it. Usually, someone asking for help states the request that way, so I can see Rupert's take on this. If everybody did what this person just did, we'd spend all of our time looking at posts that ask us to read people's work. That's not what the forums are for. If someone needs assistance once in awhile that's different, but I can see where this situation could be abused.
Yes, I see your point, but this hub is not even going to pass QAP as it is. I hope she is trying to get a head start and fix it. If she just wants people to read it, and is not really looking for feedback, then he is definitely correct.
1.Get rid of the abstract/introduction/conclusion subheadings. You are wrting on the internet. Look at other articles on your subject that are popular on a niche site.
2. You do not need to list your keywords. Delete them.
3. Where is your bio? Since you have no bio and reference wikipedia the reader will assume you know nothing about this subject.
4. What Rupert said.
First of all, you posted this in the wrong forum. But having said that...
Your present introduction is meaningless and it lost me. If I were not reviewing this for you I would have stopped right there. However, you do have some useful content, and this is what you need to do:
Move your “Conclusion” capsule to the top and change its subtitle to “Introduction” - that makes a tremendously better intro than the intro you have. Get ride of the present introduction. It will only lose your readers.
Move the Abstract to the end and you can call that your conclusion. You just need to reword it a bit to improve it and make it work as an ending. But what you said in that capsule has some useful content for a conclusion. You might want to call that a “Summary”.
Once you do all this you will be giving a better answer to what you are promising in the title right up front. Remember that people doing an Internet search want instant gratification. You need to give that at the beginning. If the reader feels you gave them something useful, they will keep reading. If you lose them at the start, they will be gone.
One more thing: You should create a bio for your hubs.
Thank you very much Sir for your reply. It helped me a lot! I did everything you told me. I would love it if you take a look at it again and tell me what you think about it after editing. I just wanted to thank you for helping me not just judging. I will love to hear from you after you review it for me.
It’s better, but it still needs work. The paragraph such a long and should be broken up more. It’s difficult for people to read online and there are four paragraphs should only have two or three sentence is at most.
The introduction is much better now, but the conclusion at the end doesn’t work. Read it out loud to yourself as if you were one of your visitors reading your article. Try to think of it that way and you will see what I mean. The conclusion should be more like summarizing what you discussed and putting the pieces together. Try to make it to that.
You also need to use title capitalization on all subtitles.
I think you should use a proper link for your references. Use the link capsule for that.
Thank you It is my first time to post a forum about an article. So, still new to it.
i appreciate your help.
Noor, it looks a lot better now than it did this morning. You can still work on improving the text part of the article and adding more substance (there should be more to know about creativity than this) but it is definitely headed in the right direction.
Keep at it! You are getting there.
by Debra Gallagher 11 years ago
How do I get more people to read and comment on my hubs?
by Kate Swanson 9 years ago
I thought this article was very interesting. It's by a blogger who tested long posts vs short ones, and found the longer posts did much better:http://www.quicksprout.com/2012/12/20/t … ersions/#.(note: there's a popup that comes up - I just closed it and it went away).
by Ron Montgomery 14 years ago
I like, just published this hub thing called read the TOS before posting in the forums asking people to read your hubs...Itis so frickin' cooool! Every one of you HAS to read it right now!
by Sue Martin 7 years ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Treat Me! please.... (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!
by Penny Skinner 7 years ago
I fully admit to not really keeping up with the current quality standards. So I would appreciate help with getting this hub up to code.http://hubpages.com/animals/Better-Betta-Fish-Housing
by Kate Swanson 7 years ago
Now I understand what people have been complaining about!I submitted this Hub to Bellatory:http://hubpages.com/style/Hair---Color-or-Go-Grayand got back the same standard email as everyone else did, with the following suggestions: " Links: All links in the article...
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