I'd like feedback on my article: Divorce: How to Decide If It's Time to Get One

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  1. Dr Billy Kidd profile image90
    Dr Billy Kiddposted 4 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Divorce: How to Decide If It's Time to Get One

    replyreport
    1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image86
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I took a quick look, and here are my observations:

      You need to shorten your title to "How to Decide If it's Time to  Get a Divorce" to make it less awkward.

      Your first subtitle is way too long.

      Your first paragraph has many sentences that begin with conjunctions...these should only be used to connect sentences.  By doing this, you keep repeating key words, which is not a good idea.

      In your next paragraph you keep repeating "the five things".  Why not say, instead, something like..."The five things that constitute ..........are" and then just list them. \

      You can then use the list to create sub capsules that explain each one.

      The article information is good, but you need to tighten it up so that it is easier to read...and please stop using "and, but, or...etc., to begin sentences!".

      Also your photo really does not reflect your content, you don't have enough photos, you have no videos and the one photo you have does not have a caption or an accreditation.

      replyreport
  2. Dr Billy Kidd profile image90
    Dr Billy Kiddposted 4 years ago

    Time Traveler 2,

    Thank you! Your suggestions are quite appropriate. I'll get back to work on it.

    replyreport
    1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image86
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      In another life I was a Language Arts teacher so sometimes I see mistakes that others miss.  Hang in there...the more you learn the better you will write!

      replyreport
      1. Dr Billy Kidd profile image90
        Dr Billy Kiddposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        I'm hanging in there. Thanks. When I went through you thoughts on my article one by one, I saw the problems loud and clear.

        replyreport
        1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image86
          TIMETRAVELER2posted 4 years agoin reply to this

          Sometimes it takes another set of eyes to show us what we're doing.

          replyreport
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