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I'd like feedback on my article: It is not about the willpower, there is...

  1. mind of me profile image60
    mind of meposted 2 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article It is not about the willpower, there is another secret (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 2 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      As Pen says, your English is not yet up to the standard demanded by HubPages. My suggestion is that you go and improve it, then when proficient, come back and try again. There is no point trying to fix this hub.

      1. mind of me profile image60
        mind of meposted 2 months agoin reply to this

        thanks alot smile

  2. pen promulgates profile image81
    pen promulgatesposted 2 months ago

    Hi Mohammad,

    Welcome to Hubpages.

    Well, I couldn't go reading beyond the first paragraph because of the grammatical errors.

    Observations:

    Put the title in 'Title Case'

    You start by saying 'while I were in lecture' which means you wish you were in that lecture. Certainly that's not the case. You were actually present, not wishing or dreaming. It should be 'while I was in a lecture'

    The second line 'the teacher assistant try to present' is wrong too. You speak in past, keep the verbs in past unless there is a time shift. It should be tried.

    You use teacher assistant quite a lot which sounds awkward while reading.
    Read out loudly. You will spot the issue.

    Your coherence doesn't make sense. You say teacher assistant, and then someone needs to be among top ten students.

    As I glimpsed the second paragraph, you write 'that was not the only question' then you write 'you have thought'.  Again incorrect.
    That was not the only question I thought is the right form.

    Are your images legal to use?
    Images download from Google are not legal to use. You must have permission otherwise you might face penalty.

    Work on grammar. Get it proofread befriend publishing.

    Hope these help.
    Good luck.

     
    working