Please tell me if there is anything wrong.

1. 48

   Lady Dazyposted 4 years ago

   Hello, I am new here and I have just published my second article in the shape of a book review. My first article did not get published because it was not good enough. I did things a bit different with this one but I still do not have much confidence that it will be right and good enough to be published. Would you be kind enough to read it and let me know if anything needs to be changed.
   
   Here is a link to my newest book review https://hubpages.com/literature/A-Story … e-Traveler

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      viryaboposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      For starters, I think you should remove the Amazon link that starts off your first sentence of the article.

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         Lady Dazyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         OK thanks.

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      bravewarriorposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I haven't read the article, but took a cursory glance. Remove the periods after each subtitle. Subtitles aren't punctuated unless you're asking a question.

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         Lady Dazyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you, I will remember this in future.

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   Rupert Taylorposted 4 years ago

   I don't how this affects your article but Linda Crampton has already published an excellent review of this book on Owlcation. https://owlcation.com/humanities/The-Ti … awed-Story

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      Lady Dazyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for pointing this out. The book was published in 2005 so I am not surprised that there are other reviews on it. Perhaps I should stick to newer books in the future.

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3. 84

   theraggededgeposted 4 years ago

   No spaces before a comma or period. Always one following
   
   Also, "The Time Traveler`s wife is a story of Romance and Science Fiction..."
   
   Should be:
   
   "The Time Traveler`s Wife is a story of romance and science fiction...." I think it would be better as 'sci-fi romance'.
   
   "The Time Traveler`s Wife is a sci-fi romance novel by Audrey Niffenegger (pub. 2005 Vintage).
   
   Don't use extra words, particularly the verb 'to be', when brevity is cleaner and sharper. There are a lot of rambly phrases throughout the piece. For example, "The time traveler in this story is a young man called Henry DeTamble who is working in a library as a librarian.."
   
   You've already said he is a time traveller in the previous section. All you have to do is add 'librarian' to this bit: "when she meets twenty eight year old librarian Henry.
   
   Go through it and pretend you are an editor with a red pen. Delete all unnecessary words, phrases and repetitions. Sharpen it up.
   
   Look out for incorrect capitalisation too. For instance, you have the book title in lower case towards the end of the article but, again, the words 'science fiction' are capitalised.
   
   Good luck.

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      Lady Dazyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your help.

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   Urwa786posted 4 years ago

   I think it is better to use a colon symbol instead of a full stop at the end of the title.

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   1. 84

      theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      No punctuation at the end of a title (or a sub-title) - apart from a question mark, if appropriate

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      Lady Dazyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you .

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