Article

1. 85

   KhanDinposted 19 months ago

   I would like insight into how to improve my article Genesis Consciousness Theorem.

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   1. 81

      WriterJanisposted 19 months agoin reply to this

      I can see where you put a lot of hard work into this article. If looking for ways to improve it, first of all I would credit your images and make sure they're in the public domain.
      
      I agree with the others that your paragraphs are way too long. I would break them up more and add more text capsules with headings. You also have quite a bit of white space in your article that can be removed.
      
      You state a lot of information as fact, but you don't site any sources and when I looked at your bio there was nothing. What brings credibility to your article?

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   2. 78

      theraggededgeposted 19 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      I see three repetitions of the title right at the beginning. Best delete the second two.
      
      Get rid of the word 'introduction' and replace it with a subheading that might help the article with SEO.
      
      The text in the intro should be only two or three sentences long. As should the rest of the article. People will be trying to read on mobile devices and are put off by big blocks of text. There's nowhere for the eye to rest. See how this post is formatted with long sentences mixed with short ones and broken up by paragraph breaks.
      
      While referring to your personal experiences is generally a good thing, the first section is essentially a blog post. Think about how you could write it with fewer 'I's.
      
      You've repeated the title again further down. Change the subheading into something else that might help to attract search engine traffic.
      
      See subheadings as opportunities to improve SEO. So break up those huge paragraphs and use more text capsules with appropriate subheadings.
      
      Have you got permission to use the chart (and the other images)? Because if you haven't, and it's not carrying a Creative Commons or Public Domain license, then you risk being sued for unauthorized use.
      
      Again, you repeated the title. Don't do it
      
      The word 'Chaos' appears 46 times, could you find an alternative in some instances?
      
      The article seems to run out of steam at the end. Could you add a section that rounds up all that went before? The structure of an article goes like this:
      
      Tell your readers what you are going to tell them.
      Tell it.
      Tell them what you just told them.
      
      Hope that helps

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2. 84

   Rupert Taylorposted 19 months ago

   Nobody can help you without a link to the article.

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3. 85

   KhanDinposted 19 months ago

   Oh. I'm sorry. lol
   https://discover.hubpages.com/religion- … ss-theorem

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4. 77

   Gregory DeVictorposted 19 months ago

   For starters, you're going to need to break each of your paragraphs into much smaller components. Readers on the Internet generally have very short attention spans, and will probably not want to read an exceptionally long paragraph.

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5. 85

   Miebakagh57posted 19 months ago

   Hi Khandin, the introduction  is very long. I find it hard to get what the topic is all about.
   
   Please do shorten it into 2 or 3 paragraphes.

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6. 78

   theraggededgeposted 19 months ago

   Sorry to correct you, Janis but images don't have to be Public Domain licensed. They can be, of course, but more commonly, they need to carry an appropriate license for commercial use. In other words, the correct Creative Commons designation. The third alternative is that they are the author's own.
   
   https://hubpageshelp.com/content/Learni … -image-use

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   1. 81

      WriterJanisposted 19 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you for that correction Bev.

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7. 0

   savvydatingposted 19 months ago

   I have noticed that you are very generous with your advice. So very nice of you.

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8. 84

   Rupert Taylorposted 19 months ago

   Apart from the amazing advice you have already been given, there is an issue with random capitalization.
   
   "Isn't it odd that Light can only come out of or after Darkness? It is Creation,
   
    my LifeTime here
   
   of the Law of Attraction"
   
   Apart from words starting a sentence, none of these capitalizations are correct.
   
   Have you read the Learning Center? Follow the link at "help" top right.

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9. 82

   Kobby95posted 19 months ago

   Break down the opening paragraph as already advised. Consider adding informative subheadings to carry the reader along.

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