Please give me a feedback. I would love to improve my writing.

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  1. Tarhan Gorgun profile image74
    Tarhan Gorgunposted 4 months ago
    1. WriterJanis profile image90
      WriterJanisposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      You've already been given some really good advice. Just to chime in on images, you need a larger picture for your opening picture and it needs to be a photo that is properly credited and useable on HubPages.

      In addition, it's best to add a couple more pictures to your articles. If you haven't yet checked out the help center, I suggest you do so. Please get back to us when you have updated your article so we can check it out.

  2. Tarhan Gorgun profile image74
    Tarhan Gorgunposted 4 months ago

    Give me feedback* pls

    1. theraggededge profile image96
      theraggededgeposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      My thoughts...

      You need your first paragraph to introduce the idea of 'why we do or don't need leaders'. In other words, you have to tell your readers what to expect from the article. In fact, the article should start with 'The Human Factor'. You can work the other extraneous stuff in later, if you must.

      Remove all exclamation marks. They shouldn't feature in an essay of this type.

      "I will explain to you why we can not have national leadership in the long run." Should be 'cannot'.

      In some places, you have put a space before a comma. No space.

      The article stops abruptly. It's as if you run out of energy. So, like your intro, you need to round up the ideas you have put forward. You must also make sure you have addressed the question you asked in the title. The whole article must be 'written to title'.

      Also, "I will explain to you why we can not have national leadership in the long run." You don't actually explain this in concise terms. You mention AI but you don't outright say that AI will take over leadership or how this would happen.

      Beware of writing in a meandering way. You must make your points flow logically and in a concise manner.

      Create outlines:

      Introduction: what I am going to tell you.

      Point 1: the first idea which naturally leads to...
      Point 2: the second idea which naturally leads to...

      You get the idea.

      Use subheadings that indicate what is coming. The subheadings can form your outline. Use at least four during the main body of the piece.

      Good luck.

      Edit: Your other article suffers from similar issues. I have no idea what it is about from the first sentence.

    2. Kenna McHugh profile image94
      Kenna McHughposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      Images need work. Please click on the "Help" button, top left hand corner and study about inserting images.

      1. Tarhan Gorgun profile image74
        Tarhan Gorgunposted 4 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks

        1. Kenna McHugh profile image94
          Kenna McHughposted 4 months agoin reply to this

          You're welcome!

  3. FatFreddysCat profile image95
    FatFreddysCatposted 4 months ago

    "Page does not exist."

    ...well, I tried.

  4. Tarhan Gorgun profile image74
    Tarhan Gorgunposted 4 months ago

    Hey Freddy, I really appreciate your help ✨

    https://discover.hubpages.com/politics/ … ed-leaders

  5. Tarhan Gorgun profile image74
    Tarhan Gorgunposted 4 months ago

    Hello:), thank you so much for the great feedback. Much appreciated

    1. theraggededge profile image96
      theraggededgeposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      You're welcome. Glad to help.

 
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