Would anyone be interested in reading a short story....

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  1. Retsced profile image61
    Retscedposted 15 years ago

    Hello there, I have written a short fictional thriller (was supposed to be a horror but after reading it back i realized it wasn't scary). I'm new to H.P so was hoping to attract some followers and thought this would be a good place to start. I would dearly love some feedback aswell if it's not too much trouble. I would gladly read any of you're hubs if you want to post a link. Thankyou in advance if you decide to help me out.
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Doppelganger

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  2. bojanglesk8 profile image59
    bojanglesk8posted 15 years ago

    Good story.

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  3. Cagsil profile image70
    Cagsilposted 15 years ago

    Welcome to HubPages! I hope you enjoy your time here.

    However, as for reviewing your hub, without actually reading it.

    (a) You need to use more text capsules. For more adsense ads.
    (b) You need to use more keyword tags.
    (c) You need to break down your writing into smaller paragraphs.
    (d) You need to add more pictures, make sure pictures match content.
    (e) You can use other modules, like news or rss feed.

    You have a lot of work on your hub.

    Have a great day. smile

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  4. myownworld profile image69
    myownworldposted 15 years ago

    Welcome here....I just read your story and commented on it!  Do read the 'Help' section (http://hubpages.com/faq/) will guide you in the basics. You'll do well I'm sure...smile

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  5. tantrum profile image60
    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    I liked your story because although it was creepy, it made me laugh! I'm for that mixture !

    The only thing I can say is :
    Next time use more capsules and divide the story in 2 or 3 short chapters. That way it's easier to read. You can put up some pics too.

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  6. Retsced profile image61
    Retscedposted 15 years ago

    Thank you all for taking the time to read my story, much appreciated.

    bojanglesk8...glad you liked it. thanks for reading.

    Cagsil...cheers for the advice, i will be paying more attention to the layout and what not from now on. thank you so much.

    myownworld...thank you for the comments you left for me, so nice of you to do that..thank you also for the link and advice, i am a fan and will look forward to reading your hubs.

    tantrum...glad you liked the story and i will be dividing the story and future ones into smaller paragraphs.

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