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Lets write a short story together, paragraph by paragraph.

  1. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    I felt sure he had feelings for my sister.  Whenever she was around, i faded in to the distance.  Today i spotted her eating the last bit of his pizza.  That spoke volumes to me.

  2. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    Sarah always got the guys.  They would hang around with me, like i was one of the boys, then slope off with her.   She wasn't even a fan of pizza.  She never ate the ones i cooked anyway.

  3. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    He just watched her. Didn't utter a word.
    Not too long ago, I helped myself to a corner of his pizza tonno. Anyone might have thought I'd stolen all his money by the way he bellowed at me. At one stage, it looked as though he might hit me, but he just moped off, muttering of how I'd take the food out of his mouth.
    What has that girl got that I haven't?

  4. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    She may be pretty, she may be thin.....  Personally if i was him, i would run a mile, i know so much about her, it would make his smooth hair stand on end.  He is not likely to listen, he is smitten, and i am starving.......

  5. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    But what can I do? Just whatch HER, eating HIS pizza!
    He'll be sorry one of these days.

  6. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    That would be a total waste of time, so i am going straight home to write a little song.  She cannot doing anything creative at all.  Some men they have no taste when it comes to girls, or pizza.  Pepperoni, who wants to eat pepporini pizza anyway. Especially when his germs are all over it.

  7. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    I never want to see him again!
    But I will. When I've lost a few pounds and can wear that slinky new dress.
    Boy! Will he be sorry!

  8. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    the fish. chips and peas tasted good.  Erin sat down at her computer, and with her greasy fingers began to type out the words of a song.  Every  now and again she would eat a chip, or pea, or a bit of fish.....

    The black days,  her song began.

    The black days, they get blacker.
    The sun shines in my eyes.

    screwing up the paper the chips were served in, and kicking it to the other side of the room.  The tears once more began to fall.

  9. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    She couldn't do anything right; write a song right, eat right, get a man right. 'What's wrong with me?' she moaned through her sobs.

  10. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    she knew she had issues, but Erin was in fact her own worst enemy.   Making changes was almost impossible, she was just a tad lazy.  After going downstairs, and eating a couple of chocolate biscuits, she signed in to a writing site, where nobody new her true identity, she would mingle with the writers.  Her figure was not a turn off to them, as of course they would never even see it. Ha Ha

  11. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    Except on her profile picture. But then, it didn't have to be HER picture she uploaded.
    Having searched Google Images, she came up with a beautiful mermaid, with luscious, flowing, golden locks.
    Shoving another chocolate biscuit into her mouth, Erin pondered for a moment on how she might look as a blonde. Maybe that was the change she ought to make.

  12. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    Men like blondes.  Why should she stop eating all the food she loved.  Just to please a man.... That was ridiculous, but blonde hair.  That would look good on her, and it would not take too much effort.  Her friend was a hairdresser, so she would ring her and see if she could do a new colour, new style, and give her a head start, on some of the other girls, who were going to the dance in the village that night.  Malc could keep his pepperoni pizza, if she saw him there, and he offered her a piece, she would turn him right down.  Now it was time to go for a swim.

  13. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    On second thoughts, it would be better to go for a swim after the hairdressers. All the blow-drying and back-combing Sharon did at the salon always made Erin look hideous, which meant she'd have to wash it afterwards anyway.
    Erin visualised herself swimming gracefully in the chlorinated water of the pool with her slick, brand new, platinum hair.

  14. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    It would give her a lift for sure.  Sharon and Erin caught up on all the latest gossip.  Sharon had been married forever, and was a housewifey type.  Erin hoped that never ever happened to her.

    As her hair transformed her into a thing of real beauty, she started thinking of her sister and the pizza once more.

    "Penny for them" Sharon giggled.

    "Sharon," Erin thought long and hard, before she asked her the question.

    "Sharon, do you ever eat pizza"

    Sharon was another annoying stick insect.  Not particularly good looking, but thin.

  15. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    Malc was thin, too.
    Erin imagined Malc and Sharon, and could almost hear the bones clanking together. No, thin people aren't made for thin people, she decided.
    Seeing herself wince as Sharon tugged and pulled with the brushes while the dryer felt like a blow-torch on her scalp, Erin began to think of Diana Dors.
    That was who she resembled! Diana Dors, one of the sexiest blondes to have adorned the TV screen - and she had been far from sylph-like.

  16. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    oop sorry.... Sharon or Erin began to think?????

    1. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Erin begins to think, I think ...

    2. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      fixed

  17. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    She pulled some great men, both on stage and off.  It was basically her personality, the strange faces she pulled,(Which got her in trouble, except for with the guys).....  and that hair.

    This was a good idea the blonde hair, was releasing the fire within Erin.  She was now ready for a swim.  She paid Sharon, but did not tip her.  She needed the money for a new outfit.  The day was getting better, it almost seemed a shame to swim, her hair looked sensational.

  18. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    But a swim always calmed her nerves. It was just what she needed before the Dance, the prospect of which was making her rather over-excited. She would arrive alone, but alone she would not depart - and not with Malc, either. Maybe with Brad. The thought of Malc's face if that happened brought a faint smile.
    To get Brad, Erin needed a very special dress, with low, low cleavage. And one of those corset things she had seen on the infomercials that put everything in the right place; one with a 'push-up' effect at best. And then there was the make-up: Sixties style eyeliner and chalky, full lips would complete the Dors look a treat.

  19. SomewayOuttaHere profile image62
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    Elle a décidé d'aller nager et de ne pas s'inquiéter de ses cheveux blonds….ils sécheraient de toute façon.

    Elle nagerait et oublier Marc ou Bob ou Dick ou whatshisname....

    1. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I think it was Harry.

  20. SomewayOuttaHere profile image62
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    ou Harry!

  21. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    The dress was wonderful, it took a long time to find, but everything was in place, she even found herself, sexy and irrisistable, and she was in the taxi heading for the dance, and applying her chalky eye make up and beautiful lip gloss.  Her hair had taken so well, she felt a million dollars.

    1. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Oh - I wanted her hair to turn green in the chlorinated water ... I'll have to go and think now ...

  22. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    i have been out, and kinda forgot was going on, forgot to take her for a swim,,,,,, ah let her hair be lovely she has not got so much else going for her....... she needs to end up with the guy she adores, even if it is not just yet.  Lots more play before she gets her man.

    1. sofs profile image85
      sofsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      what is up here?? smile  wink

      1. camlo profile image85
        camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I'm thinking ... and doing a song with Richard Craig ...

    2. SomewayOuttaHere profile image62
      SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      ...she went for a swim (a few posts back) and didn't think about Marc, Bob, Dick or Harry....and didn't care about what the swim would do to her blonde hair.

  23. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    The driver opened the door, and Erin slid elegantly from the taxi, to be greeted by flash bulbs, bouquets and cheers ...
    in her mind.
    She was far too early, it seemed - the village hall stood dark and desolate before her, the peeling paint of it's window frames fluttering in the strong easterly wind.
    "The dance is tonight?" she asked the driver, who was getting back into his taxi.
    He shrugged. "Don't ask me."
    The vehicle sped off, and Erin stared at the hall's entrance, its faded green door firmly closed. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

  24. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    The tears and the mascara collided, and fell down her face.  She must have got the date wrong for the dance, surely not, this was going to be her night.  She bit some of her Yorkie, and stumbled accross the street, in her high uncomfortable shoes.

  25. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    Stepping onto the grass verge, her stilettos sunk into the soggy ground. A horn sounded like a blatant jeer. It was Malc. He sped loudly by in his silver Porsche, its tyres spraying a muddy puddle over Erin's white, Diana Dors style dress.
    Sarah was in the car with him, and they were both waving and smiling. Or was it laughter?

  26. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    They so suited each other, both as childish as the day was long.  They had not realised who it was they were splashing with mud, just an exceptionally ignorant pair of no marks.

    How on earth do people walk in these bloody shoes.
    Erin jumped into a taxi and arrived home, she saw lover boys car parked on the drive, so she let the front tyre down.

    It was back upstairs to her computer, and she looked to see if he was on line, ah yes there he was, she could count on him.

  27. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    He called himself Malc2009 on HubPages, and was easily recognised by his profile picture. A popular Hubber - but Erin would soon put an end to that.
    Malc had no idea who 'mermaid99' was. Erin began to type.

  28. Ben Evans profile image72
    Ben Evansposted 7 years ago

    Malc as he was known was the gentlemen type yet he had the certain thing that attracts people like crazy.  The moon outside was silver and cast a carpet of light through the window to where Erin sat at the computer.  Some say the full moon has a hidden shadow.......A hidden passage to the heart that is not known to others.

  29. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    Erin went to the window, and shut the curtains with two, angry yanks.
    Tonight was going to be the last time he ever showed his stupid face on HubPages again, she decided, settling back at the computer. She gazed at his image for a moment. A tuxedo for crying out loud!
    Her fingers hammered down on the keys.

  30. SomewayOuttaHere profile image62
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    Erin noticed his post on the 'Remarriage' thread.  'Why that silly man in the tuxedo!' she thought to herself.  'What does he know about marriage anyway?'.   'I should report him for wearing that silly tux' she thought out loud!  'Darn him!'

    Erin decided to click the report button through the 'other' category....and she did.  She reported in french hoping the  moderators would not understand and they would just automatically ban him from the forums for a day or two.

    Her explanation..."Malc2009 est une grande fille et a besoin d'être interdit pour porter un smoking."

  31. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    The prompt reply ... "If you wish to enter a non-smoking Forum, please click the 'Help' button to the top right of your screen."

    Not only had she not been understood - Erin had been misunderstood, but wasn't that the story of her life?

  32. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    Secretly she wanted to the guy in tux to notice her.  Imagine her surprise, when she saw he had not only read her work but commented on it also.  He believed in her.  Wow, he said she had potential as a writer.  This mars was tasting good.  She glanced at herself in the mirror.  She had forgotton her hair was blonde, she laughed out loud, then decided to go and read this guys work also. 

    She secretly loved to be misunderstood.  She liked people reading and commenting on her work, it gave her a lift.

  33. SomewayOuttaHere profile image62
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    Oh, mon Dieu! Erin exclaimed!  She couldn't believe her eyes when she started to read one of his hubs!  And...then she started to laugh....she paused...but couldn't contain herself.  Erin was laughing out loud as she continued to read the hub.

  34. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    Terrible dress sense, but this guy could surely write.  She was reading between the lines, he was funny.... she would play around with him a little.

  35. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    ... Tease. Flirt. Maniplulate.
    Erin knew how to deal with men online. She would get him where she wanted him, then show Sarah where that was.

  36. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    Sarah would probably not understand anything about on line maneuvers.  On second thoughts she would just keep it to herself.  Sarah and her were poles apart in every way.

    Oh he had commented on her poem, she laughed at loud, he had totally misunderstood, the meaning of the poem, but that was o.k.  She was getting his attention,and that is what really mattered.

    Erin pulled the Pizza out of the oven, she was starving.

  37. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    Pizza Peperoni, she realised. Malc's favourite.
    She was temted to chuck it in the bin, but her stomach screamed, 'No!'

  38. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    Hunger was hunger..... Her sister and Malc were in the front room she could hear them..... she popped her head round the door...

    They were locked in to each others arms,

    "peperoni pizza anyone, she bellowed"

    Sarah picked up a cushion, it the hit the back of the door, as Erin slammed it shut.

    Malc had overdone the aftershave, somewhat, and her sisters perfume seemed to clash with it.

    Erin took the pizza upstairs with her, but found it impossible to digest, so threw it in to the bin.  She looked on site, but her fave writer was not online.  She saw a girl who was so dozy, well seemed to be, as her writing was shallow.  Erin logged in under the name, Malc, and teased around with the dopey girl.  Now this was fun.

  39. SomewayOuttaHere profile image62
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago

    Erin just couldn't shake off the thought of Marc and Sarah together in an embrace downstairs.  She decided to listen to some music.  Teasing the dopey girl wasn't enough of a distraction.  The thought of eating the pizza she threw away was owerwhelming.  She could still smell the pepperoni and she was tempted to warm up another pizza.  Malc would think she was about to eat her 2nd pizza. She fought her desire.  Erin realized she ate more for emotional comfort than because of hunger these days. 

    She selected some old R&R; something to get her moving and dancing.  Then she turned the volume up loud, louder and then really loud.  It was a good song and it put her in the mood to dance and dance she did. 

    Sarah couldn't dance like her; not with her two left size 12 feet.  Erin really knew how to 'bust a move'.  She knew soon Malc and Sarah would come upstairs and ask her to turn down the volume.

  40. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    She also knew how confused she was, and food was no help, or no comfort any more.
    Having stopped the music, Erin went to the table where the drinks were kept, and poured herself a mammouth measure of gin.

  41. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    she swirled the gin around in the glass, she remembered her sisters coffin being lowered in to the ground.  The brandy, one after another she would drink non stop.   Her sisters child still around without a mother......  Just this once she thought, as in fact she was not keen on alcohol, but she had heard it helps you cope at times.,,,,,,,, she would keep it in control.

  42. camlo profile image85
    camloposted 7 years ago

    Quickly, the alcohol took effect. Feeling nice and sloppy, Erin pulled down one of the spaghetti shoulder straps of her white dress, and tousled her platinum hair with newly taloned fingers whilst slipping into the stilettos. She took a deep breath, and headed downstairs
    In the drawing room, Malc sat alone before the TV.
    "Where's Sarah?" said Erin.
    "What?" said Malc, turning to face her with a start.
    "Who cares?" said Erin, making slowly for the chair where he sat.
    Malc turned back to the TV. "Getting some pizza," he said wearily.
    Standing behind him, Erin placed her hands on Malc's shoulders. His muscles tensed. "What are you doing?"
    Erin slid her warm hands through his open shirt to his muscular chest. "Don't say you don't like it." She bent down and kissed the top of his head, then his forehead.
    Reaching up, Malc stroked the back of her neck, tilted back his head, and their lips met.

  43. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    i don't know if i can follow that.... the gin is taking effect, i am livin this out. ha ha ha

    1. Joy56 profile image60
      Joy56posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      i can see Malc looks so happy, so Erin locks her sister out, thinking now.

      1. camlo profile image85
        camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        If you do that, things might happen that aren't allowed on HP smile

  44. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    ha ha.  Is this the end of the story, looks like it might get deleted if we keep this up on the forums....

    Malc loves her blonde hair, and admits to dating her sister, just to get to her.

      They lived happily ever after....

    1. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I just thought HP wouldn't like a full blown sex scene ... but you could have Sarah walking in before it starts.

  45. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    ha ha ha...... i have decided you are much better than me at this short story thing, o.k. we will keep it going, it's good practice.... let's pretend, Sarah does not walk in......  she phones at some point to say her car has broken down.....

    Your turn, i am only a learner on short stories, you are the expert.

    1. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Oh - I don't think I'm good at this at all - it just seems to be going nowhere. It's more like a soap opera than a short story. It's fun though, even if I don't have enough time to think about my writing.
      I think you ought to write the next bit, causing a real dilema for Erin and Malc. I'm really tired ...

      1. Joy56 profile image60
        Joy56posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        yep i know what you mean, it is going round in circles......  i am going to think about this and come back tomorrow,

        1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image62
          SomewayOuttaHereposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I think Erin and Malc should be interrupted by her sister....I like where Camlo was taking it!....but then Sarah enters....and later after the cat-fight, Malc's wife arrrives!

  46. ddsurfsca profile image71
    ddsurfscaposted 7 years ago

    This was going nowhere quick, and if it didn't get straightened out, it would be another one of those dead hubs, in the dead hub office the post office has, so suddenly she came up with the answer, jumped up from her computer, and shouted out-"Can't you all see it, I am the one who is right for him, me me me, not my sister, not anybody but me...." and in the sudden quietness of the house one could only hear "meow", as the cat looked up at her.

  47. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    so that is it then the end...... she loves the cat, she now has blonde hair, etc.  I thought the sister walking in was a bit lame.  I wanted to Erin to make changes for herself not any guy, or because of sibling rivalry or any thing, what do you think..... is this just another dead end story?

    1. ddsurfsca profile image71
      ddsurfscaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I think just like the other word games, it takes some practise and if we try a couple more times we can better see if this story game will work.  I think starting off with a very simple beginning is maybe key.  Also, I dont see how to get around having to read many posts to be able to make sense of it.

      1. Joy56 profile image60
        Joy56posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        maybe get more input next time.

  48. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    maybe i will take this a start to short story and write a hub myself, what do you think, Camlo

    1. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Yes, why not? See where your imagination takes it - there are more than enough possibilities.

      I'll be the first to read it!

  49. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    i actually enjoyed doing that on here, together, but i will work on it, and you can comment on it... thanks for your input, you are a nice guy

    1. camlo profile image85
      camloposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Oh - thanks Joy!

      Yes, I look forward to commenting.

  50. Joy56 profile image60
    Joy56posted 7 years ago

    o.k. starting to write my hub entitled the life and works of Erin Hallsworth...... would you like to have any input into it...... I feel it will have more than one episode.  Or rather she will have more than one episode, she is changing the colour of her again.

 
working