ENGLISH IS A STUPID LANGUAGE

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   Gaget Girlposted 14 years ago

   Lets face it
   English is a stupid language.
   There is no egg in the eggplant
   No ham in the hamburger
   And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
   English muffins were not invented in England
   French fries were not invented in France.
   
   We sometimes take English for granted
   But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
   Quicksand takes you down slowly
   Boxing rings are square
   And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
   
   If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
   If the plural of tooth is teeth
   Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
   If the teacher taught,
   Why didn't the preacher praught?
   
   If a vegetarian eats vegetables
   What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
   Why do people recite at a play?
   Yet play at a recital?
   Park on driveways and
   Drive on parkways
   How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day,
   And as cold as hell on another
   
   You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
   Of a language where a house can burn up as
   It burns down
   And in which you fill in a form
   By filling it out
   And a bell is only heard once it goes off!
   
   English was invented by people, not computers,
   And it reflects the creativity of the human race
   (Which of course isn't a race at all)
   
   That is why
   When the stars are out they are visible
   But when the lights are out they are invisible
   And why it is that when I wind up my watch
   It starts
   But when I wind up this poem
   It ends.

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      daflaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Cute.  Did you know that English is the hardest language in the world to learn, because it has so much of this stuff in it?
      
      Like too, to, and two; and words that are spelled alike but pronounced differently, or have two different meanings, or can be either verbs or nouns. 
      
      Most languages have set rules, but English is such a conglomeration of words and rules from so many other languages, that it's just a mess!
      
      Oh...but there really is an eggplant that looks like tiny eggs.  Non-edible, but it exists.  It's called the Easter Egg Plant.

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         Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'm afraid this is an overstatement. I think Asian languages are hardest to learn for Western culture people...

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            Gaget Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            It's only harder for you to understand because it looks so different to what you are used to. I bet if you had to learn the language you will soon realize that it isn't as difficult as it may seem.
            
            

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2. 79

   robie2posted 14 years ago

   English is deceptively simple at the beginning--no genders, no cases, you learn the verb to be in the present tense and a few nouns and adjectives and boom you think you are speaking English but then the fun begins......sooooo many words for the same thing with only subtle differences in meaning and so many irregularities and idioms.... like the plural of mouse is mice so why isn't the plural of house hice? The poem is really a good illustration.....I not only don't know how anyone ever learns English-- I don't know how one could begin to teach it.  It is such a disorganized, if lovable, tongue:)
   
   For a good laugh at the expense of the English language click on the link
   
   http://www.innocentenglish.com/

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      Gaget Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, there are so many variations and words that make no sense! If i wasn't born speaking English I would find it very hard to learn... You know, I thought French would have been a hard language to learn but it's really quite simple once you've established the simple rules.
      
      

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         Ananta65posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         It's all a matter of perception, preference and aptitude, I guess. I am Dutch and I had much less difficulty learning English than I have ever had with French and other Roman languages. Nevertheless, English IS a stupid language *lol*
         Having said that, I can tell you that Dutch also has its peculiarities, mind you.

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   Mark Knowlesposted 14 years ago

   And ~ English people do not call it an eggplant. We call it an aubergine.

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      Gaget Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well I guess whatever tickles your pickle LOL

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         Mark Knowlesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Actually it is a fruit
         
         And all but one of the words in your first stanza are American words, not English
         
         Eggplant, Hamburger, English Muffins and French Fries.
         
         Although I thought they had been legally renamed "Freedom Fries."

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            Gaget Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            They still speak English don't they?

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               Mark Knowlesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Depends on your perspective

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                  Gaget Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  LOL Ok fair enough then

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      Junksterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, never knew that.  I've been wondering what the hell an eggplant was for years!
      
      The more I know!

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         Mark Knowlesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Took me years to discover what a Twinkie was

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   Eileen Hughesposted 14 years ago

   I loved the poem it was really true.  But as a kid I had a lot of trouble with learning, simply because of the different words with the same meaning like too, to , two,  their, there, bear, bare  and so on.
   My son was dislexic and he spelt words back to front.  Oh boy what a hassle that was.  Even his own name he always wrote it back to front.   I really feel sorry for people coming from another country to learn our language.
   
   Then again in writing there is different terminology. cliches, oh brain gone dead cant think but you all know what I mean if not then thats life..eh what.

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   Mishaposted 14 years ago

   Eggplants?!

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      Gaget Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      They are not the tastiest LOL
      
      Just in case someone wants to know what they look like here's a pic:
      
      
      
      
      
      

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         Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         LOL
         And they speak English?

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            Gaget Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, Eggplants do speak English, didn't you know?
            
            We have wonderful conversations...
            
            

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               Maddie Ruudposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Technically, eggplants speak American English, and aubergines speak British English.

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   Gaget Girlposted 14 years ago

   Only joking... Just in case someone thinks I'm bonkers LOL
   
   

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   compu-smartposted 14 years ago

   As a born n bred londoner (from England) or is it the UK.!\?
   
   I think you are all patronizing me,,,,Or is it "pay"tronizing!!!
   
   
   

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   vietnameseposted 14 years ago

   Geez, reading this post made me want to take out the two eggplants I bought last weekend to fix up some grilled eggplants.

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   terenceyap07posted 14 years ago

   Gadget Girl,
   
   I really enjoyed this script when I first saw it somewhere else. Hmm, let's see... could it perhaps be from this link:
   
   http://osdir.com/ml/cms.xaraya.curiosa/ … 00046.html
   
   Why did you substitute the word "observation" with the word "poem" in the last line? This could have been an exact reproduction if not for that one-word-swop.
   
   Perhaps the answer is blowing in the wind.

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    Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

    It's a great discussion.
    English is 'stupid' in that it doesn't follow  rigid rules like some other languages-. It does have rules, but there are always exceptions that allow for great creativity.
    It borrows liberally from many other languages. Part of this is because the English, and Americans  have always been explorers and open to other cultural influences. Perhaps that is why writers appreciate English expressiveness.  German comes close, especially with its elongated combined forms. Most languages owe a dept to Latin and Greek.
    I don't know much about Asian languages

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    mobilephone guideposted 14 years ago

    nice lol
    imo, the hardest language to learn is japanese.

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    dineaneposted 14 years ago

    terenceyap07, I'm with you. Clever, but it's already out there.
    
    I know this is the "fun" forum, but is anyone else bothered by these re-posts of stuff that's been circulating forever?
    
    No offense to the OP, I get them in my inbox every day. And I sometimes get amused by something I haven't seen before, but it just frustrates me to keep coming across the same 'ole, same 'ole emails on the forums.

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