Write your favorite jokes here.
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fssshhh.
here's an oldie.....
What's green and red and goes vrooom! vroom!?
A frog in a blender!!
How can you tell when a dumb blonde used a computer?
There's white-out on the screen!!
Why are men with pierced ears better prepared for marriage?
Because they've experienced pain and purchased jewelry.
What is the best thing about a nudist wedding?
It's easy to see who the best man is.
What happened to the man who took Viagra, Levitra and Cialis all at the same time?
He had a hard attack.
An electrical fire caused a man's barn to burn down one night, so the next day his wife called their insurance company to file a claim.
"We had that barn insured for $50,000 and I want the money," she told the agent.
"Now hold on a minute," the agent replied.
"Insurance doesn't work like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth."
After a long pause the wife replied, "If that's how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy I have on my husband."
One evening a man walked into a bar and proceeded to order one martini after another. With each one he would remove the olives and place them in a jar he had brought with him. When the jar was filled with olives and every martini had been consumed, the man got up and prepared to leave.
"Excuse me, sir," a patron said. "I have to ask because I'm so curious----what are you going to do with all of those?"
"Take them home to my wife," the man replied. "She sent me out for a jar of olives."
One evening when he was working late, a business executive managed to persuade his secretary to bend over the back of the leather couch in his office and allow him to have sex with her. When he finally arrived home later that night, his wife was waiting up for him.
"And just where have you been all night?" she asked.
"At the office," he replied, "working like a dog."
My favorite to use.. That is clean and great for kids..
What doesn't Tigger shake hands? Because he plays with pooh!
Obviously better if you say it.
One afternoon a professor of mathematics sent an email to his wife that said, "Overall I am happy with you as a wife, but as a man I have certain needs, and given that you are 54 years old new, you are no longer able to satisfy those needs. Subsequently, I will be spending the evening at a hotel with my 18-year old teaching assistant. I hope you understand. I still love you and I will be home by midnight."
In response, his wife sent him an email that said, "I received your email and I understand. I too will be at a hotel tonight--with our 18-year old pool boy. And being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you will surely realize that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18, so please don't bother to wait up."
If you are from Vermont, I feel your pain.
Not a joke. Real news item.
"Squirrel terrorizing neighborhood BENNINGTON, Vt. (AP) — A Vermont neighborhood is being stalked by a renegade gray squirrel. Several people in Bennington say they’ve been attacked by a squirrel over the last few weeks. read more"
by mayhmong 13 years ago
Tell me a blonde joke
by Stevennix2001 14 years ago
To be honest, I've never heard a nantucket joke my entire life, but people tell me about them all the time but never tell me one of their jokes. therefore, i started this forum to see how many of you hubbers out there can come up with pretty good nantucket jokes for me.
by Ron Montgomery 13 years ago
Take a break from politics and religion, just share a joke.
by Matthew I Crawford 13 years ago
Q: If a blonde and a brunette fall off a building at the exact same time, which one lands first?A: The brunette; the blonde had to stop to ask for directions.Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?A: She opens the car door.Q: How do you confuse a blonde woman?A: Take her to a round room...
by nicomp really 4 years ago
A traveling salesman, a clown, a horse, and a midget walk into a bar...The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
by mayhmong 14 years ago
Tell me a Yo Mama Joke
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |