A man was outside tending to his garden one morning. His next door neighbor, a blonde woman, comes bounding out of her house and opens her mailbox. It is empty. Frustrated, she goes inside. A few minutes later the same thing happens. The third time the woman comes outside, her neighbor asks her "is something wrong?"
The blonde frowns and says "Yes... my stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail, but there's nothing in my mailbox!"
What do you call a dead blonde in the closet?
The 1989 Hide and seek champion
What do you call a brunette between two blonds?
A bunch of blonds standing shoulder to shoulder?
An old blond joke I know:
A cheerleading squad consisting of all blonds and a single brunette, were all headed by plane to the next big game. Along the way, the plane loses all but one engine and begins to plummet!
The squad is asked to toss their belongings...
Yet the plane is still going down...
The squad is asked to dislodge and toss their seats...
Yet the plane is still falling quite fast...
Now, the pilot comes over the intercom:
"Please observe the handles located above your seat areas. Please grasp the handles with both hands and hold on tightly, our last hope lies with me releasing the lower half of the plane!"
Everyone grabs hold and hopes for the best...
He drops the lower half of the plane...
But the plane is still losing too much altitude...
The pilot comes over once more:
"For the sake of the rest of us, one of you will have to bail out!"
The blonds, sobbing at the deadly predicament they face, look around at each other in horror...
"I'll do it."
The blonds look at the girl behind the voice...
She lets go...
...And the blonds clap.
When will a blonde go on the roof? When you tell her drinks are on the house! jzc
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde replies, "According to the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
2 blondes are at a river. One is on the left side, and the other is on the right.
The blonde on the right says, "How do I get to the other side?"
The one on the left yells, "You are on the other side!"
A blond and brunette are living together. The blonde tries to cumit suicide. When the brunette gets home she sees that there is a rope tied around the blondes waist.
The brunette says, "The rope is supposed to go around your neck."
The blonde says, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
A blonde, brunette, and red head are about to get executed, and the man asks them if they have any last words.
The brunette says no, but when the man shouts "Ready...aim..."
She shouts, "Tornado!" The man looks away, and the brunette escapes.
Seeing what the brunette did, when the man shouts, "Ready...aim..."
The red head shouts,"Earthquake!" The man looks away, and the red head escapes.
The blonde nods, understanding what they did. The man shouts "Ready... aim..."
The blonde shouts,"FIRE!"
We all have friends who are blondes and some of the dumb blonde jokes you hear really insults their intelligence and character. Blondes are people just like us, and to think that they are dumb just because their hair is of a lighter color makes us... read more
by Matthew I Crawford 7 years ago
Q: If a blonde and a brunette fall off a building at the exact same time, which one lands first?A: The brunette; the blonde had to stop to ask for directions.Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?A: She opens the car door.Q: How do you confuse a blonde woman?A: Take her to a round room...
by nicomp really 4 months ago
A traveling salesman, a clown, a horse, and a midget walk into a bar...The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
by LSKing 3 years ago
If you answered yes, then you may want to change your mind. It will only cause heartache and a broken friendship. I told one of my closest friends that her boyfriend was cheating on her and now we're no longer close. It hurts my heart because I didn't want to tell her but, the person he was...
by Daffy Duck 2 years ago
There are millions of jokes out there. Everyone says they have a great one. What's the funniest one?
by Holle Abee 7 years ago
A non-PC thread about dumb blondes!A truck driver breaks down just outside San Diego. He flags down a blonde who was driving by.Blonde: Do you need a lift?Man: No, I have to stay here with the truck because the office is sending someone to repair it. Look, I have two chimps that I was talking to...
by Martin Heeremans 4 years ago
I know everyone has that one hilarious joke they use which will always get a good laugh out of everyone in the local vicinity.I'll start.A new Commander is sent to take over a command of a post in a remote location.On his entrance he spots a donkey tied to a rope behind the barracks. Unsure as to...
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