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5 Real Life Past Superhumans - Historical Super Humans Science & Stan Lee Can't Explain

Updated on February 25, 2015
Freud giving some of his cocaine to Beethoven. Abe disapprovingly abstains. No wait, those are M&Ms.
Freud giving some of his cocaine to Beethoven. Abe disapprovingly abstains. No wait, those are M&Ms. | Source
Source
Source

Historical Legends Rule!

I love the movie Idiocracy. I love it so much, I believe it is more true than anyone realizes. In fact, it seems to me that people of history are smarter than today. Fewer people on the planet, less information, rudimentary technology, yet there's a startling difference that puts many of today's legends to shame.

There's a big difference. Consider just the eloquence between the Letters Beethoven wrote to his "Immortal beloved" who were meant for one person to read, and the dialogue written for the movie Rocky, whose own style of love poem consists of the following, and I quote, "YO, A-DRI-AN!"

Listen and watch Genius. No "Blurred Lines" here.

Number one Superhuman is the "Heinecken" boy.

Not to be confused with the Heineken Girl.
Not to be confused with the Heineken Girl. | Source
  1. Christian Friedrich Heinecken takes top marks for accomplishing academically more than most college students can in four years... during his first and only 4 years on the same Earth.

Number One

Christian Heinrich Heinecken (February 6, 1721 – June 27, 1725), a.k.a. "the Infant of Lübeck", was a legendary German child prodigy. He didn't have the time to create something long-lasting and wonderful, such as the perfect beer recipe. (That's different Heineken). Consider how much anyone accomplish in only 4 years time. Especially when the 4 years starts on the very day you're born. When he was ONLY eight (8!) WEEKS old, he could speak his mother's language of German! He read the Pentateuch (no light read) at age one. Let that soak in for a moment, Selah.

Between the ages of two and three, he read the Old and New Testament (probably in German, maybe Latin). When he was three years old, he studied subjects such as history and geography. By then he could study subjects also in French and Latin. and was also well-versed in mathematics, history and geography, and could also speak French, and Latin proficiently. He died at age four, only after assessing his own symptoms, making a diagnosis and predicting the unfortunately accurate prognosis of his own demise.

I tied my shoes already when I was four. But, maybe I didn't even do that right.

The ultimate genius of history died at the age of 4. What did he do before he died? I wish we knew more, and I wish he were born in a time of better health care technology.
The ultimate genius of history died at the age of 4. What did he do before he died? I wish we knew more, and I wish he were born in a time of better health care technology.

2. Michelangelo - art. He envisioned a masterpiece in the stone, and cut away what didn't belong, leaving just the tip at the very edge to show how he didn't make a mistake. By the way he could also paint, ever seen the Sistene Chapel?

Artsy Mike Angelo. Yo, Angelo! Cut dat rock!

Michelangelo portrait by someone else.
Michelangelo portrait by someone else.
Moses by Michelangelo. No, he didn't have horns. Yes, Mike knew that. It's an art thing, it represents something from Scripture.
Moses by Michelangelo. No, he didn't have horns. Yes, Mike knew that. It's an art thing, it represents something from Scripture.

3. Isaac Newton - science. Basic laws, invented by God, explained by Sir Isaac Newton. More right than even he knew. In college they taught me "Newton was wrong"... but the reasoning they used was relativity and metaphysics, which are more shaky than Newton's Laws. Time will tell... Isaac Newton's genius will stand unmatched. 7 billion people alive today and nobody is like Isaac Newton when it comes to intuitive understanding of Physics.

Genius Metal-head Isaac Newton

He doesn't just look like a participant of MTV's Headbangers Ball, he was totally into alchemy. Totally met-al. Maybe mental. He was working on a formula to make actual gold. Maybe he should've made a gold record thrash-metal album instead.
He doesn't just look like a participant of MTV's Headbangers Ball, he was totally into alchemy. Totally met-al. Maybe mental. He was working on a formula to make actual gold. Maybe he should've made a gold record thrash-metal album instead.

4. Samson - MMA/sports "kinesthetic intelligence". Read it in the Bible, believe it or not, this guy could have taken the gold in any sport if he put his mind to it. It is a Rambo movie in real life when he took on thousands of Phillistines and won, fashioning his own weapon from a bone. The tactical feat was emulated on a scale of 300x but almost as impressively done by the famous group of 300 Spartans in a larger-scale battle centuries later against the "Immortals".

If Rambo were real, he'd still have to give respect to the best warrior / tactician / renegade of all time - Samson
If Rambo were real, he'd still have to give respect to the best warrior / tactician / renegade of all time - Samson

Who is # 5? Why, it's gotta be JS.

J. S., not to be confused with "JC". If I were to include J. C., he'd be number one by infinity.

Of Bach, Beethoven, or Mozart (perhaps Paul McCartney or Jeff Lynne someday?) - musical Superhumans, there could be much debate. Take your pick depending on your style, my choice is J. S. Bach. This "Composer's Composer" could write a fugue like no one else ever has. His masterful virtuosity seems to have no bounds. In one example of the organ/piano/harpsichord, J.S. Bach pioneered utilized all 10 fingers (and both feet) of the keyboardist for the first time. His music seems to channel something unique directly from Heaven. My favorite example of this being the other-worldly end of the first movement of Bach's 5th Brandenburg Concerto which features a harpsichord solo that will blow your mind and maybe melt your face off if you are an aspiring musician.

  • Beethoven wrote his 9th symphony while deaf, after being written off as a has-been though he had produced masterpieces from an early age. He expanded the horizon of orchestral sound to an optimal place where many symphonies of today seek to replicate the classic symphonic sound he pioneered. Other attempts to improve on the number of instruments are either too rich or too light.
  • In the "lighter" sound of earlier orchestras, Wolfgang A. Mozart could write music as effortlessly as the rest of us form speech, but his published works (unlike 99.9999% of human speech) were poetically concise, musically poetic and perfect. Simple, yet profound and attainable. His gift was making mathematically beautiful structures in music that, like mathematical proofs, represent musical forms in their utmost purity. He was "the" child prodigy of music, and wrote masterpieces in a single draft most of his short life.

J. S. Bach, from God's Heaven to Your Ears

Hey wimps, you cry about how hard it is to handle a couple kids. Yo, it's 2014 and guess who's still the best composer of all time? That's right  bi-otches, and I raised like 20 kids. Snap!
Hey wimps, you cry about how hard it is to handle a couple kids. Yo, it's 2014 and guess who's still the best composer of all time? That's right bi-otches, and I raised like 20 kids. Snap!

© 2012 Doug DeWalt

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