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How to Recognize and Accept the Exhilarating Cleansing Renewing Liberating Delivery of Grief

Updated on April 6, 2014
Emotional Collapse
Emotional Collapse | Source

MODE of Cosmic Therapy Esoteric Educational Psychology: Dealing with Pangs of Death, Divorce, and Devastation

Grief paralyzes us. Without having lost anyone or anything in particular, grief exists as a staunch weary-eyed overworked sentinel protecting us from even one more ounce of unexpected disappointment and/or dismay.

We are always on guard, though not consciously aware of our frontal barricaded behavior, projecting a semi-foreboding ‘warning approach’ to anyone who carelessly ventures into uninvited ‘personal space.’

Our stylized grief depends on our previously experienced emotional background experiences; the ones we do recall, along with those we can’t recall but indelibly linger in our unconscious as exposed bloody pellets from a rusty unused rifle.

Although we are unable to place a specific name upon the unintentional worry, doubt and anxiousness we unobtrusively carry, our stressed-out, panic filled, determinedly comparable, and ridiculously competitive lives speak volumes of the unmentionable guest hiding deep in the corridors of our minds.

No need to question whether he inhabits, inhibits and influences our being; one little inadvertent word, unplanned gesture, facial expression or reflexive tone can send us reeling.

We often wonder why we dwell on things which ought not to have so much bearing and importance.

The extended effort to offset unbearable emotional pain governs our meticulous exactness in trying to ‘get things right’, be seen as a ‘good and decent person’ and last but not least, wanting to be acknowledged and appreciated for being so special.

The unidentified culprit ‘grief’ lauds upon us our extensive concern for what others think, say and do. We are so consumed by the significance of their input, we lose our own footing. When giving grief unbridled reign, an overly exaggerated emphasis on negative thoughts swarm our minds, discoloring our views and infecting our impulses.

When we stanchly deny any presence of grief, the draining sensation of anxiety superimposes itself. It draws wrinkles upon our face, bends our shoulders, and slows our gait.

Although intended as a means of protection, the unfortunate result is a morbidly depressive attitude and sense of defeat. We seriously wonder if we’ll ever be able to recover from the loss.

We exaggerate the reality of our being singled out, “Why did this have to happen to me?” Or contemplate excessively, “When is the bottom going to fall out?” “How will I make it iF I lose my job?”

We begin to believe that nothing will work out for us and that we will never be able to realize our particular dreams. Our otherwise normal responses seem slightly paranoid and overly critical, pessimistic and caustic.

Some may see this state of affairs as neurotic but far be it from the classically conditioned abnormal behavior, as opposed to the reality that it’s the mind’s militant mechanism to repress grief unable to be born in the individual at the time experienced.

In other words, the prognostic signals are exploited to expose, entertain and exterminate retaliated thoughts.

Deeply imbedded thwarted issues are being brought to the surface at an entrusted pace, offered as a necessary means to dissolve and remove. When one feels himself/herself to be socially irrelevant, the cave of unsolicited horrors opens for inspection.

The sense of unidentifiable loss or deprival does not originate from the outside but from within.

When we experience true loss, when we are deprived of a familiar love, we are devastated; the inconsolable bereavement is incalculably unbearable. Tears are expediently wonderful as nuanced expressions.

Our precious ruthless soul luxuriates in the occurrence of their uprising. For they serve two purpose: one, to cleanse the musty crevices of guilt, regret, remorse, shame, embarrassment and two, restore energetic life infused balance.

However, sometimes, we assign the loitering sense of loss with something or someone on the outside who has let us down, disavowed us in some way or even dejected and abandoned us.

But, this is NOT the origin of the heart-breaking disillusioned matter.

Something of much greater magnitude is taking place. We are in a splendid position to see what’s going on ‘down under’ IF we are aware enough to recognize the resplendent relative signs of grief attached.

Instead of adding more to the event, or inverting the incident to a lesser degree in order to cope, merely define the layer (get in touch by recognizing and acknowledging the unusual unaccustomed sensation) just beneath the surface of enormous emotional pain.

If we are still enough, there we will find an oasis of serenity, detached tranquility (almost scary) extraordinary sense of peacefulness, calmness, devoid of any emotional ache.

Most often times, however, we are so caught up in the emotional parasitical excitement attached to the drama of our heart breaking disappointments, we mentally transport ourselves away from the crystal clear moment of divine liberated delivery in the emptiness we are overtly experiencing.

Am I dismissing the normal sorrow adjacent to painfully enshrouded circumstances? Absolutely not! We are on earth to experience the highs and lows of learning how to be totally human. Death is an integral part of the inexpressible process of living.

But, what I am saying is that there is a “peace that passes all understanding’ that enables us to survive, thrive, grow and evolve through and past our most horrific pain filled human affairs.

To live, love and laugh again with renewed vigor, vitality and virtuosity of having endured the pangs of inescapable emotional psychological antipathy.


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    • msorensson profile image


      8 years ago

      Oh.. so sweet. Thank you. I needed that. I have this weird question on my mind and hesitated to ask you via hub pages. Weird in the sense that I would never think it myself in a million years and it just popped up...ha ha ha...

      Thank you, Paula.

    • Paula Andrea, MA profile imageAUTHOR

      Paula Andrea, MA 

      8 years ago from www.mode of cosmic

      My darling friend, I greet you in warm affection this bright beautiful Sunday morning! When we are able to breathe fully embracing each moment, without the siphoning weight of 'what will or will not be', then, and only then, are we able to love, laugh and live life to the fullest. In honor of our dear life-invigorating connection, I celebrate you and this moment...MODE of Cosmic Therapy

    • msorensson profile image


      8 years ago

      This is so true. To live love and laugh again. Perhaps it is not necessary to experience romantic love again but we can live and laugh. There are many other expressions of love, not necessarily geared towards a single person.

      Thank you.


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