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The Best Life Quotes-Top Twenty Funny Quotes on Alcohol.

Updated on November 27, 2010

Best Life Quotes

Alcohol is responsible for many funny quotes , even if they weren't meant to be funny, but that's life. So I'll drink to that! Here are my top twenty funny quotes on Alcohol .

All Quotes and Quotations

Funny Alcohol Quotes

I only drink twice a day, when I'm thirsty and when I am not. Brendan Behan.

I was one drink away from a tattoo. Lily Savage.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry.

The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a beer bottle, they're on TV .  Homer Simpson.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill

I can't hold my liquor in the winter , I am pretty sure it's the mittens.  Jonathon Katz.

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books. P.J. O'Rourke.

I'm not so think as you drunk I am.  John Collings Squire

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemmingway.

Don't put ice in your drink, it takes up to much room. Groucho Marx.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Stephen Wright.

I drink no more than a sponge .Francois Rabelais.

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. Dean Martin.

I envy people who drink-at least they know what to blame everything on. Oscar Levant.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henry Youngman.

I exercise some self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. Oscar Wilde.

Beer makes you smarter . It made Bud wiser.Brendan Behan.

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label. Mark Twain.

I only drink to make people seem more interesting. George Jean Nathan.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get. Homer Simpson.


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    • ronaldoh profile image

      ronaldoh 7 years ago from England

      Thanks for looking in Libby.

    • libby101a profile image

      libby101a 7 years ago from KY

      These are funny! Great job!!