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Three Lies the World Tells You

Updated on June 27, 2016
Time to see through these lies. It's a snap!
Time to see through these lies. It's a snap!

As you move through life, you may get the sneaking suspicion that you’ve been misled — that somehow, somewhere, somebody has lied to you about what to expect. Well, I’m here to reveal to you the three most basic lies the world tells you.

Lie #1: Time flies. No, time does NOT fly. It crawls. It crawls at an incredibly slow yet inexorable pace. Think back to how long you had to wait for that first trike, first bike, first motorbike. Think of how long you are still waiting for that pony. Remember the anguish of the interminable wait until you could first drive, or drink. How long was it before you were allowed to handle your uncle’s fishing knife? Or his hunting rifle? Did you feel like time flew until your acne finally went away? Or until you lost your virginity? Did those college years of essays and problem sets and term papers just fly by? Of course not!

And, though you may have aged, and might in fact be surprised to be writing ‘2010’ on your checks already, don’t try to convince me that time flies! Just spend the hours (or seeming days) from 2 a.m. to dawn chasing cable channels, and tell me it flies! Sit through a State of the Union address, AND all the talking-head blather before and after, and tell me it flies! Watch the last ‘two minutes’ of an NFL game, and tell me it flies! Renew your license at the DMV, and tell me it flies! Ask your wife to list the resolutions you really need to work on this year, and tell me it flies!

Except for a brief detour to rickzworld, I rest my case.

Lie #2: Time is money. No, time is NOT money. Time is time, and money is money, and the two have only the most flimsy, fickle and fleeting of relationships. (For one thing, if time was money, I’d actually be earning something from all this endless online writing!) If time was money, your latest car repairs wouldn’t have cost $857.00. Instead, after compensating you for the 6.2 hours you wasted sucking down truly horrid coffee and being deafened by braying daytime TV in the dealer’s waiting room, the service manager would have presented you with a bill for just $237.00. If time was money, your kid’s high school principal would owe each and every attending parent $47.50 for that deadly drone on proper test-taking. If time was money, we’d all knock a few hundred off our April check to the IRS for head-breaking time spent on perfidious paperwork. If time was money, I’d be seeking rebates from a whole lot of relatives, distant and otherwise, for a series of thoroughly wasted holidays and birthdays.

See what I mean? Don’t believe it; time is NOT money.

Lie #3. Money is the root of all evil. No, money is NOT the root of all evil. Money is great! (Perhaps one of man’s best inventions, in fact!) Money makes things possible! Money makes a juicy portherhouse arrive! Accompanied by a baked potato, a vegetable, a salad, and a cold longneck! Sound like evil to you? I think not. Money also brings fast cars and expensive women (or, if you prefer, fast women and expensive cars). Money brings vacations and plasma TVs and caramel lattés and shawl scarves and sidepipes and movie premieres and a cornucopia of food, fast and otherwise. Money even brings lotto tickets, which may bring . . . more money! Money is not the root of all evil — it may in fact be the root of all good (or at least be REAL CLOSE to the root of all good).

It’s the greedy grasping for money that’s the root of all evil! That roofing subcontractor that skated with your deposit — that’s evil! That telemarketer (and his legions of clones) ringing through as the first steaming forkful of your favorite dinner hovers before your open salivating mouth — that’s evil! That cousin of your wife’s with an all new unbelievably convoluted (and unbelievable) tale of money woes like clockwork every six months — that’s evil! That utility company that has to come oil their meters every few months so they’ll spin faster and faster — that’s evil!

So now perhaps you can keep a little more truth and honesty in your life.

You’re welcome.

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    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      rickzimmerman 

      5 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks, GRP! Now you know where to look to find truth, happiness and fame . . . he, he, he

    • GlstngRosePetals profile image

      GlstngRosePetals 

      5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Awsome Hub! I'm Saddened at the length of Time it took me to find such a wonderful article about the lies we all take for granted. With that being said "great job" Sir. Voted UP and pressed all the buttons to.

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      rickzimmerman 

      6 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      colorsuz: Glad to see you're spending your time wisely (by reading my hubs, he he he).

    • colorsuz profile image

      colorsuz 

      6 years ago from Ann Arbor, MI

      Hahaha interesting persepective on #2...I always interpreted "time is money" in the sense that it holds value and thus people should be careful how they use it!

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      rickzimmerman 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      wilderness: glad to waste your time anytime!

    • wilderness profile image

      Dan Harmon 

      7 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      Thanks for the laugh this morning; particularly appropriate as I spend my time to write one more hub and attempt at getting some more money!

      Well done; even if I lose some of my valuable time reading and laughing, it is more than worth it!

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      rickzimmerman 

      8 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks for the kind and flattering comments!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      8 years ago

      ..three words which come to mind when I have read your hubs:

      1. you have wit (galore)

      2. you have (a) style - which I would imagine other writers would envy!

      3. you can entertain and educate at the same time

      and balance both with considerable aplomb!

    • bschrodt profile image

      bschrodt 

      8 years ago

      I would agree if I was younger on the time part, tho, now it seems I barely rise from bed and it is time to go back. But they say time flies when your having fun, my problem no fun.

      I do agree on the comments as to time is money, money is time. If time really was money no one would have financial woes.

      As to money being evil it is the greedy I agree that make it that way.

      And to frogdropping check the word positives for it does not have 2 o's. But if you would put a 5 in front of them and mail me a check I would enjoy it. LOL

    • frogdropping profile image

      Andria 

      8 years ago

      lol #3 - Money. You're right of course. Money brings posoitives, the best of which is having it. Big plus. Huge.

      Another funny and rather satirical hub, kudos :)

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      rickzimmerman 

      8 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Moonchild: Thanks for the kind comments. Hope you enjoy more of mine. — RickZ

    • Moonchild60 profile image

      Moonchild60 

      8 years ago

      thank you Rick. You are so right. I agree with every single one and written quite well I might add...

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      rickzimmerman 

      8 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      k@ri and tonymac: Thanks for the kind comments. Glad to know my words are falling on receptive ears.

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      Good one, Rick. We are fed too many lies like these all our lives and it is certainly good to try to sift the truth from the lies.

      Thanks

      Love and peace

      Tony

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 

      8 years ago from Ohio

      LOL How true, how true! Good to see one who can distinguish truth from lies. :D

    • Chef Jeff profile image

      Chef Jeff 

      8 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

      Time flies like an arrow -fruit flies like a banana.

      Great hub! Still LMAO as I get back to work!

      Cheers!

      Chef Jeff

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 

      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Good Hub. God Bless You

    • OpinionDuck profile image

      OpinionDuck 

      8 years ago

      Time passes without things being accomplished

      Time is money for attorneys and others that charge for their time.

      The pursuit of money has been done in many evil ways.

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