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Top 10 Reasons You're not Smarter than Hal Licino

Updated on December 25, 2011

Herein we pay tribute to our idol, Hal Licino. You are not smarter than he. Read on and have your eyes opened. Have your mind expanded and your psyche polished. Sit in awe of his voluminous hubbage output. Gape in amazement at his worldwide variety of topics. Stand on his giant shoulders. Rest in his shadow. Lay down in agony should you cramp up during all this activity.

Top 10 Reasons You are not Smarter than Hal Licino
Top 10 Reasons You are not Smarter than Hal Licino

10. The Incredible, Edible Egg; parts 1 and 2: Who else could coax not one but two epic hubs from the lowly egg? The thing can't even hatch. It's sterile when it comes out of the chicken. Sir Hal takes us on an expedition of learning through the 20th century history of eggs as foodstuffs, as jewelry, and as pop culture icons. A truly splendiferous journey. Note: this page has since been removed from Hal's account, no reason given. Hal has the final word.

9. Fight Spoilage & Keep Foods Fresh Longer! : This author can't begin to speculate as to the intertwining of synapses necessary to compose 2 hubs about eggs, then Mr. Licino blindsides us with a three hub series on the nuances of refrigerated foodstuffs. Simply put, this trilogy reads like Tolstoy On Biology. More complexly put, it delves deep into long hidden nooks and crannies of the transition from edible to sickening. From canning to blanching to environmental control issues, no technology is overlooked.

8. Top 7 Marxist Communist Policies Being Implemented By Obama Today: Many of us are concerned about food spoilage and accurate depiction of of egg history, but few of us have the time or political will to properly internalize current activities in Washington DC. Considerate Hal comes to our rescue with another insightful treatise. Note the simple yet subtle twist that he puts on the tired Top 10 framework; instead of 10 items he only provides 7. We all stand in his shadow.

7. Top 20 Events Which Prove Obama Is A Marxist Communist: Not to be outdone by himself, Mr. Licino builds on the Top 10 framework yet again to concoct a twice-as-big list of salience. Note the subtle difference separating "Communist Policies" and "Events".

6. Hal's 40 Best Google-Topping Keywords & Adsense Earnings: As if food safety, egg chronicles, and politics weren't enough, Mr Hal trots out his vast knowledge of online profits to benefit of us all. Join him in a journey through the uncharted world of Google AdSense. Revel in his successes and weep with him as you experience his failures. Only a man secure in his masculinity could open himself up so completely.

5. How Do You Get Nine 100 HubScores At Once?: Obviously a rhetorical question, as Howitzer Hal already knew the answer before he began typing this hub. Leave it to him to humbly proffer his hard-earned experience to other hapless humans.

4. The Hottest Non-Fiction Topics For Your Next Book: Sure, we all dream of writing a book or at least reading one, but Loquacious Licino provides us with ready-made topics to get our projects off the proverbial ground. Here Hal hands us homespun homilies and humongously helpful research. Don't start your next book without him. He may be smarter than you, but he happily heaves open the door to his inner sanctum.

3. Sorry, I Don't Want A Scientology Ad On My Hubs! Get It Off! : Taking a stand against fringe religions may not win Mr. Licino any friends at the next Tim Cruise backyard barbecue, but sometimes a hub simply begs to be published. Feel free to agree, disagree, or mumble incoherently to yourself.

2. Bearbaiting Comments In Your Blogs And Hubs: Should your hubs be infested with bears, turn to Helpful Hal for guidance. Who else could leverage content provided by obsequious foils to generate yet another hub? The mind boggles, then settles down for an evening of entertaining verbiage.

1. Your AMD CPU & ATI Videocard Purchase Supported Terrorism: Admittedly this author has no clue what's going on (actually I do, given that I have a Master's Degree in Computer Science, but for the purposes of this narrative I will remain naive), but what we experience here represents an early effort from the Bard of Licino. Without question he was smarter than us even his nascent days of Hubbing. We simply can't make the cognitive leap from CPUs and microseconds and frame rates and instruction pipelining and bus speeds to unjustified acts of violence on civilians by unbalanced ex-patriots. The connection exists but we mere mortals appear incapable of traversing it. Don't beat yourself up.

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    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      2 years ago from Ohio, USA

      We still miss Hal.

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      We miss Hal!

    • wavegirl22 profile image

      Shari 

      8 years ago from New York, NY

      nicomp . . . i think you omitted his best hub ever (though i still beg to differ on a few of his choices) but please his QB hub does need a mention here. . .well at least in my humble opinion it does:)

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Hal Licino: You're very welcome. I hope it brings you more traffic. :)

    • Hal Licino profile image

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Dang it, nicomp! I didn't even realized you'd written this! I'm honored and flattered. Thank you very much!!!

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @cally2: Check out Hal's work. It causes other Hubs to pale in comparison. One Hal Hub is never enough.

    • cally2 profile image

      Paul Callaghan 

      8 years ago from Paraparaumu, New Zealand

      One hub was enough. Does anyone remember the neighbour in "wait till your father gets home?"

    • cally2 profile image

      Paul Callaghan 

      8 years ago from Paraparaumu, New Zealand

      lol, but now I have to check him out and give him more traffic

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @emievil: I'm hoping he doesn't smite me. I do respect him.

    • emievil profile image

      emievil 

      8 years ago from Philippines

      I bow to the greater wisdom of Hal Licino! *chants* I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy.

      Hmmm, can't wait to see Hal Licino's reaction on this one :).

    • profile image

      ralwus 

      8 years ago

      He is prolific

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      My idol!

    • jiberish profile image

      jiberish 

      8 years ago from florida

      Hee, Hee, Hee! :)

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