Do any other teachers out there see overparenting as a problem?
I'm a high school teacher in the capital city of Vermont. I believe that one of the biggest challenges facing our teenagers today is the effect that overparenting is having on them. I have students who can't problem solve and have expectations that don't correspond to reality because their parents work overtime to not let anything bad happen to them.
Do any other teachers identify with this perception?
I am not a teacher but totally agree with you. Children learn by experience and if they are not allowed to experience the good and the bad how are they going to make decisions. My daughter is a teacher and I know she shares those thoughts too.
I'm not a teacher either; but, I agree with you also. I would also like to add the small twist that I think that not only do parents try to protect their children from bad things too much; but, they also don't make them accept responsibility for their actions.
Children don't learn the lessons life is supposed to teach them if they never have to accept responsibility for their actions - good or bad. I also feel that their conscience doesn't develop to the point that it should if they never have to face and observe the consequences of their actions.
I used to tell my daughters: "If you are caught doing wrong and end up in jail - call me. I don't want to worry about where you are; but, then settle in for the night because I'm not coming to get you."
It's hard to answer this, as "overparenting" is a rather loaded word. Having once worked on a college campus, I can tell you that some kids who were coddled like antique Beleek china were the first to run wild. However, parents know their kids far better than school authorities; they should stand up for them when warranted. Say you know your child tunes out when underchallenged; this child might be mistaken as an underachiever and placed accordingly. You know your child will perform better if given more challenge, which stimulates them and wakes up their brain. So you fight for them to be placed in such classes and risk being mistaken for an "overparent." My kids would kill me, so I'll use myself as an example. I tuned out in grade-school English - in fact, a teacher once paused the entire class to observe me absently trace my index finger along the classroom fish tank, following a giant goldfish along his path. She didn't know that I was then writing grade "A" English papers on books like "The Sun Also Rises" for a cousin attending an Ivy college (brilliant scientist but hated Lit. - yes, I know there's the ethical question here, but I was a kid then). I was seen as an underachiever and put in what we all knew was the "dumb group." My parents wouldn't dream of questioning the teacher, but I wish they had. On the other hand, I think parents should give their children first crack at fighting their own battles when it's within their range of capability, absolutely. In my case, I was in no position to stand up to this teacher or to realize I had allies in other teachers who'd taught me.
I don't see over-parenting as a problem. I see people like you as a problem. The kids I see under-parented are throwing dice down the street beside a home where the parent is gone most of the day. Where f... you and n..... are daily words. The thing is they are black and belittle themselves. I guess that is the bad you were talking about? So let them do what they want and hopefully they won't end up a delinquent. Is that the way you see it? Take their chances and the first time a dealer hits them with a wad of cash their hooked my friend.
Let me guess...you teach at public school. Do they actually pay you?
Also not a teacher-but I definitly agree. Some Parents want so much for their children which is great. The mistake a lot of people make (just in my opinion) is doing everything for their children. Whether it is picking up after them, speaking for them or making up excuses for them.
The best way to teach is HANDS ON- what will some of these children do when the parents are gone? When children get older they have two choices # 1-Do It Themselves #2 Depend on someone else to do it for them.
Parents or adults like to think they know how to do everything better, we natually have the instinct to love and protect our children and do everything for them at any cost.No parent wants there child to suffer or hurt or be mistreated or god forbid go through a tough time.Not realizing that what we are doing is holding them back from learning themselves. We will not always be there to hand them a $20.bill so they can eat. It is better that we show them how to earn that $20 so when we die we are at peace knowing we taught our children to SURVIVE.
My son (15) says most of his friends have parents who will hand them money to go out with friends to hang out at Dunkin donuts or the mall or anywhere.And all they have to do is ask not earn. He thinks I should pay him to mow our lawn...HA HA HA-not happening.He does not understand why I do not agree with this.But when I was growing up and still now- no one ever just handed me money whenever I wanted it. I had to work for it and earn it- and then learn to respect it,value it and use it wisely. My parents are no longer around-so I am glad (as much as I fought them) that I am able to depend on myself.
Many parents are over protective-and think they will always be able to do things for their children and they never prepare them for their future.
Some of the things I was taught (like farming and growing food)is not even mentioned any more. Sad to think that our children are learning so many things and not even learning the basics of survival.
Children are brought up thinking everything will be handed to them. We all have the choice to make things happen or let things happen.
I am thankful for all the teachers who have not forgotten what 'TEACHING' really is.
I totally agree! Another way I'd describe the "overparenting" is: parents are spoiling these kids and not holding them to any standards at all anymore! They don't want anything bad to happen to them, don't want to hurt their feelings, and don't want them to "not like them". Since when did parents start being friends of their kids instead of disciplinarians and actual parents. It's not working for society and is going to lead to some major issues.
http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Children-of … -Viewpoint
During my teaching career (I retired in 2005), I found that overparenting sometimes was a problem at the middle school. When I moved to the high school, I encountered only a few instances of overparenting; those parents were extremely annoying. With many of my students, however, I found underparenting far more of a problem. As I'm sure you know, if parents don't count education as one of their priorities, students
tend to reflect that attitude.
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