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how to make people love and admire you

Updated on January 9, 2010

Love and admiration are what everybody wants on a daily basis. We all need the love and approval of our; spouse, siblings, neighbours, colleagues, friends, relatives etc. Yet, what many people end up getting is the opposite.

I agree with fact that nobody can please the whole world but, you don’t have to make the whole world love you before you can feel loved or admired. After all/ Jesus Christ that tried to make everyone love him was in fact rejected by many. LOL!

In this article are 10 tips that you can use to make people love and admire you even beyond your expectation.


  • Always provide solution to their problem

People will naturally love and admire you when they have the feeling that you are a helper. To be a helper, you need to have the capacity to help and this capacity can be gained through learning. I remember teaching a girl how to cook just to save her marriage and she still admires and respect me till today. Just provide help to people’s problem – any kind of help.


  • Remembering their special day(s)

I have this friend that I have come to respect and love so much for just one singular act of his. “He wrote a blog post with my name on one of my birthdays and sent the link to all our other friends”. This did not only make me proud but won my heart for him. I cringe when I see couples that will live for years without exchanging common gift on special days – including their own wedding anniversary. Some don’t even remember it.


  • Motivating people into action

There are times that people will be down and need somebody to help awaken the sleeping giant in them. I almost quit my education in my second year of study after I saw my grade for a semester but, for the timely motivation that came from a friend. And this earned him my love and admiration.


  • Calling people by their names

I bet you will feel valued and loved when a person you met few days back sees you and call you by your name instead of ‘Mr. Emmm!!! or Mrs. Emmm!!!’ It makes you feel important and you naturally want to pay back in the same coin and before you know it, you will find yourself loving and admiring the person. Try it and see that it works.



  • Sincerely praising people

It does more harm than good to flatter people. Sincere praise boosts morale and can help win someone’s love and respect. A lot of people have misused this technique and will argue that it doesn’t work. Some even mock and make jest of people thinking they are praising the person. Now tell me, will you feel comfortable if a person (someone you know) sees on the way and start praising you “you are too much” “you are great” etc when you have not done anything to deserve such praises. Chances are you will be offended by the person’s act and if this continues over time, will make you develop hatred for the person. The golden rule, “if you must praise, praise when necessary or don’t”


  • Politely confronting people when they wrong you

People will love and respect you when you politely correct them when they are tending towards the wrong side. Nobody is an island – even islands have surroundings.


  • Sacrificing your comfort

Helping others/ sharing what you have may cause you some pain but will definitely win you some fans in the long run. Care should be taken in applying this technique as some ‘human parasites’ may want to take an undue advantage of this to suck you to death.


  • Finding their good characters                        

If there is anything like ‘THE SCARCIEST’ commodity, it is people that find good in others. I call them ‘the good-diggers’. They are in short supply and the whole world is busy looking for it and will reward anyone that has this quality in abundance. Join the league of good-diggers and see people flooding your doorstep, extending their hands of friendship and love.

  • Avoid gossiping and unnecessary argument

Gossip and argument will only invite trouble. Except you are the type that embraces trouble, flee from them.

I have no doubt that the nuggets in this article will make you experience a harvest of friendship if well harnessed.

Love is a universal language that is spoken by everyone (knowingly or unknowingly). So, spending some time and money to learn to speak that language will be worth all the efforts.

And to help you speak that universal language of love, I have reviewed some Amazon books that will help you towards becoming a likable person. This was done to save you the stress of having to pick the books yourself. Take the final step by buying these books and see your life become a lovable one.

To your new found love!



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    • chinweike profile image

      Chinweike 7 years ago from Glasgow, UK

      Sabina Vegas, glad to know you will buy some of the tips mentioned here into practice.

    • profile image

      Sabina Vegas 7 years ago

      Hi thanks for this i am totaly trying to follow your advise and i hope it will go me well. And one more time thanks for the upload

    • chinweike profile image

      Chinweike 7 years ago from Glasgow, UK

      drbj, Thanks for the comment. People do really appreciate it when their names are used to address them rather than formal title. Just like you pointed out, care should be taken in doing this.

      Thanks once again for your comment.


    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Excellent tips, chinweike. One of the most important, I have found is as you suggest using the other person's name as much as possible without overdoing it. Our name is part of our identity and usually unique so we appreciate it when others recognize that by using it.

    • chinweike profile image

      Chinweike 8 years ago from Glasgow, UK

      @nikki1 you equally have great hubs, especially the one on valentine with the title 'to my valentine'

      thanks for the comment

    • nikki1 profile image

      nikki1 8 years ago

      great hub

    • chinweike profile image

      Chinweike 8 years ago from Glasgow, UK

      @Miss Take

      thanks for commenting

    • profile image

      Miss Take 8 years ago

      so great thoughts to take on board there