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At the LHC

Updated on April 9, 2013

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The Mathematical Establishment has built an accelerator known as the LHC. This white elephant allegedly accelerates and smashes concepts: 0D entities. It is now spending about $1 billion per year to discover the particle of the concept mass...

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The Mathematical Establishment has created a white elephant known as the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Geneva, Switzerland. The folks at the LHC allegedly accelerate and then smash particles in order to discover what they are made of. They've been doing this for the last 100 years.

The problem is that this recursive process results in the discovery that the particle consists of yet more particles. The particle mathematician assigns a Greek-letter, scientific-sounding name to his find, collects his Nobel Medal, then asks for funds to search for the particles that constitute the last member of the Standard Model of the religion of Quantum Mechanics. A theory that was supposed to converge upon a simple, Grand Unified Theory has grown out of proportion and become unmanageable, so much so that Robert Oppenheimer, the 'Father of the Atomic Bomb' once exclaimed that the Nobel Prize would go to the physicists who did not discover a particle that year. And Enrico Fermi, the discoverer of the Exclusion Principle added, "If I knew that there were going to be so many particles, I would have become a botanist instead."

Today, the particle mathematicians have moved up one gigantic step in their quest to discover the nature of the micro world. They no longer seek to discover what matter is made of. Today, they search for particles that comprise abstract concepts. They do not attempt to discover what the photon or the proton or the positron is made of. They want to know what time is made of. They call this hypothetical particle, the chronon. They wish to discover the discrete unit of sound. They call this breath- taking monster -- a 'quasi-particle' -- the phonon. (Yes. The mathematicians had to invent the 'quasi-particle', the not-quite-a-solid entity, half object and half concept.) But above all, they seek to find the particle of mass, the infamous God Particle: the Higgs Boson. This is the Holy Grail of the mathematical world today... until a pesky reporter asks, "What is it made of?"

The other half of the folks at the LHC are also looking for dark matter, the particles that allegedly maintain the integrity of the galaxies. A galaxy does not rotate like our Solar System, with Pluto revolving around the Sun in a much longer period (248 years) than Mercury (88 days). A galaxy rotates like a carousel with the horsies on the inside at the same level as the buggies on the outside. The question the mathematicians are trying to answer then is, "Why do stars at the edge of a galaxy orbit the center of the galaxy at about the same speed as those closer to the center?

Surprisingly, the main concern of some of the people at CERN is not that they might find the Higgs or dark matter. Their worry is that in the process they could accidentally create a black hole that could swallow the Earth. This is a very scary predicament. It's the moment you realize that you were not talking to the head of the asylum, but to one of its patients.

A black hole is a CONCEPT, an abstract mathematical concept that consists of a mathematical singularity and an event horizon. Two concepts do not an object make! You do not surround justice with love and end up with a rock! Concepts do not swallow light, astronauts or clocks as the religion of General Relativity would have you believe. The members of the Math Klub have taken their fanatical doctrines to such runaway extremes that today the bread and butter of the mathematical world -- black holes, warped space, 0D particles -- are casually accepted as real physical objects.

The question you should ask yourself at this point is whether it is time to pull the plug on the LHC and the insane institution of Mathematics. The religion of Quantum Mechanics has failed. It cannot answer simple questions such as what gravity is or how a magnet physically attracts another one. The song below is the first installment in the series designed to popularize the idiotic notions coming out of high class monasteries such as Harvard and Cambridge. People would be wise to wake up to what the leaders of the intellectual world are really saying.


At the LHC

B. Gaede - R. Narvaja


Last week when we were partying

I sneaked out to the LHC, the LHC

They were accelerating protons,

hoping to smash in the Higgs, the Higgs

.

Gluons and quarks collided,

a wonder, since they’re 0D,

but with all the rush

no one stopped to ask

how concepts break in bits

break in bits, break in bits

.

Just then the chamber started sputtering up,

and all the geeks scrambled for cover

“The black hole’s forming” shouted one.

But it was just the janitor.

.

Still no sign of the Higgs,

no sign of the Higgs

at the LHC,

the Higgs, the Higgs

.

Last week when we were partying,

I sneaked out to the LHC, the LHC

They were trying to find dark matter

by smashing variables to bits

.

The robots rolled the scales in,

so as to weigh the heavy Cs,

but the lead tech asked

“How will we weigh

what none of us can see?

We can’t see, we can’t see

.

Just then the chamber started sputtering up,

and all the geeks scrambled for cover

“The black hole’s forming” shouted one.

But it was just the janitor.

.

Still no sign of the Higgs

and no dark matter here,

At the LHC.

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