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Carl the Critic: Reviews "Gamer"

Updated on May 6, 2012

Carl the Critic: Reviews "Gamer"

EXPECTATIONS: When your friends say, "Hey we're going to watch a movie on Saturday that looks good do you want to come?" be sure to ask what the movie is before you say "sure." When I found out what my friends meant by "a movie that looks good," I started to think that maybe I need new friends. But they were insistent that I see this movie because it sounds like everyone they knew really liked it. So long story short, my expectations were not that high and I felt that although Gerard Butler is a great actor his time could have been better spent in other movies.

EXPERIENCE: After the tickets were bought and my friends went into the theater, we found seats watched as the opening sequence started. It was very dull, until there was a huge explosion and then more explosions and more explosions and then random nudity and then big surprise more explosions. The testosterone level in the theater could not be any higher as every guy was cursing, yelling, hitting the person in he seat next to them, I think someone had a gun at one point and shot at the ceiling, but in any case the movie was just all action no plot, and what is worse than no plot, no satisfaction.

STORY: The story (if there was one) takes place in the future where x-boxes, wii's, and Playstations are obsolete and what is new and cool is controlling real people. There are two games that are played on such system "Society," (which is the equivalent of "Sims" but with real people) and "Slayers," a highly violent game where the object is to kill as many people as you possibly can without getting killed yourself (you know like every single action game ever invented.) "Slayers," uses convicts to play in the game because who cares if a convict is killed, and this is where we meet "Kable" (played by Gerard Butler) who was convicted after killing a guy. "Kable" has a reputation of surviving 27 rounds longer than any other "Slayer" player in history. The person who controls "Kable" (his name is Simon) is the cockiest teen-aged boy on the face of the earth, he actually convinces these British twins to show him their breasts because he is just that disgusting and perverted.

The creator of these the games "Slayer," and "Society," is Dexter... I mean Ken Castle who is the richest man in the world, but he thinks that "Kable" is annoying so he sends in Terry Crews to intimidate and kill "Kable," because he must die for reasons that are not fully explained. Oh and when Simon reveals to "Kable" that he is the one controlling him, "Kable" convinces Simon to let him do what ever he wants. He uses this as an opportunity to escape and is soon brought to see Ludacris who is the leader of a group called "Humanz" who reveal that Castle's intentions for the technology that he has created is so he can control the entire world and have them kill people against their will... If you are really confused at this point I don't blame you, it was a very confusing movie.

Oh another thing apparently "Kable" has a wife who works for the game "Society," where she is forced to have sex with numerous people who are controlled by the ugliest and most disgusting noobs I have ever seen, imagine the ugliest person you know, and multiply the amount of ugliness to that person's face and multiply by 100.

This story is very long and complicated, and the way that "Kable" kills Castle is the worst killing in cinema history.

Critique: As you can probably imagine this movie has more negatives than positives, but I would like to say something on behalf "Gamer" I can respect it for one thing it tried to do. Although it is confusing for me to comprehend, movies idea really made me think about some serious political and moral issues (such as violence in video games whether or not they corrupt the youth of America). It was an interesting idea but I'm afraid that the reason why it didn't work for a person like me was because of the way it was presented. An action film with gigantic explosions, gore, and nudity only truly work in small doses, otherwise it is not a good movie. In film school they teach you that action kills plot, so to keep the story engaging, you must take a break from the action sequences once in a while. The movie could have been a lot better, because it has potential but the direction and story were one gigantic mess. It's like if Christoper Nolan decided to direct "Inception," while on LSD.

OVERALL: I have to give the film 4.5 out of 10, because of the potential to be a great story, the acting was okay, but it has fallen into what the current action films are becoming, a huge explosive mess.

"Gamer" on DVD

What about you?

If you seen "Gamer," what did you think?

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    • CarltheCritic1291 profile image

      Carl 6 years ago

      Oh you just go to "my account," and then you find a side bar with options including "Group." Click "Group" and it tells you how to group your articles together in any order or group that you want. Thanks for the question, and I hope this helps.

    • Matt in Jax profile image

      Matt in Jax 6 years ago from Jacksonville, FL

      Pretty funny review and I thought it wasn't that great either, but not too bad. Almost an industry standard of late for action movies. I'm curious, how did you add the links for your previous and next reviews down at the bottom below the Feedback section?