ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Top 20 Reasons NOT to Have Children

Updated on October 27, 2013

I don't have children yet, but I do want to. However, I like to decide things by Pro/Con list, so here are the top 20 reasons NOT to have children from my Con list.

  1. Babies cannot change their own diapers. And they will rarely do you the favor when you're 85.
  2. The mystery of jam hands will never be solved. It is an accepted universal law that all children will have sticky hands from 18 months to 4.5 years of age.
  3. Children may be used as free labor, however, don't expect it to be useful labor. Good luck getting the crayon out of your nice white collared shirts after you teach Jimmy to do the laundry.
  4. Kids have a habit of saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times. "I'm not 'under 12,' Mom. I'm 13," right when you're about to buy tickets and 'kids under 12 are free.'
  5. According to every parent I've ever met, kids behave much better around everyone but their parents.
  6. Children cost money. They eat it, drink it, play with it, poop in it, waste it, borrow it, spend it, wear it, and ask for it.
  7. Having a baby means I have to start hanging out with other parents. And some parents are weird. Like the moms that still breast feed their kindergarten-aged children. (That's just something no kid should have memories of).
  8. PTA meetings suck. 'nough said.
  9. Babies grow up to be children and children grow up to be teenagers, and everybody knows teenagers are the biggest pains in the butt.
  10. Nobody will like me if I board an airplane with a screaming child.
  11. If my pre-teen runs away, it's considered neglect not to try to find them. Even if I'm glad about his decision. Best to avoid run-ins with the law.
  12. It's been said that near-death loved ones can sometimes "hold out" until they see someone they love, reach some milestone, etc. Wouldn't you feel guilty if great-granny passes at the sight of her first great-grandchild?
  13. My children will probably resent me. Especially for choosing to hand-make all of their clothes (I can't really sew that well) and forcing them to wear onesies until they enter Kindergarten.
  14. I will probably resent my children for preventing me from doing all the awesome things I hope to do that I probably wouldn't have done even if I hadn't had kids.
  15. It will be hard to go from watching whatever movies I want to watching only G rated movies and cartoons I can't stand.
  16. Sibling rivalry isn't nearly as fun when you aren't one of the siblings.
  17. I like to try new foods. Kids can be picky. I don't want to fight about dinner and I am NOT making PB&J for dinner for the next 10 years of my life.
  18. If my kids turn out bad, everyone will blame me. Even if it is totally not my fault. I mean, how could I have anything to do with their lack of respect for adults??
  19. Grocery shopping with children is 10x more painful and takes 3x as long.
  20. And to top it all off, children will NOT take care of the dog no matter what they promised.

Check out the other side of the Pro/Con list in my Top 20 Reasons to Have Children.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)