Funny Quotes

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   Deborah Sextonposted 9 years ago

   I think some humor is needed here
   Got a funny quote? Post it here

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   1. 73

      Quilligrapherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Many scientists believe that milk is the fastest liquid on the planet because it gets pasteurized before you even see it!
      

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2. 0

   Deborah Sextonposted 9 years ago

   Here's my first one
   The baby should have been blue, or red, and maybe even violet..but not green
   I don't blame dad? for being upset
   

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   1. 79

      Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Haha, I didn't get it til I saw the "dad's" face.

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      1. 0

         Deborah Sextonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I like your new Avatar
         
         The mom crayon, her face gives her away too
         
         Why is the image doing that? (above) Here it is again (below)
         The father is red.....the baby should be purple, red, or blue, but noooo it's green!??
         Such evil crayons in this world
         

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3. 75

   m abdullah javedposted 9 years ago

   Fearing with buffallow 'he' went behind the horse.

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4. 60

   bBereanposted 9 years ago

   It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally.

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   Deborah Sextonposted 9 years ago

   

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   Deborah Sextonposted 9 years ago

   A blatant lie
   The things that give us away
   
   Now what if Mom was color blind?

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   Deborah Sextonposted 9 years ago

   Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."

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8. 0

   Deborah Sextonposted 9 years ago

   

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9. 0

   JoelMcLendonposted 9 years ago

   A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."

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10. 0

    Deborah Sextonposted 9 years ago

    Well not my wife..cause this is a joke
    
    My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
    We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on her forehead.

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