I'll start it off:
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
.... .... .... shhh-bish..boom!
Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping? He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.
If anyone is interested, I highly recommend the new psychic I have been seeing lately. She is grossly over weight but an excellent four chin teller.
The thing with psychics is you do not need to book an appointment as the know you were coming.
Once saw two psychics sitting there in silence. When I asked what they were doing they said having a conversation. When I pointed out that not a word had been spoken they replied they knew what the other was going to say.
I think that is the same person who went parachuting. When asked how he knew when he was about to land he says the dog stops screaming and the lead goes slack.
Okay one to make you scream, and it is true. There is a seeing eye dog in Germany who has so far killed four blind people through mistakes it has made. His name? Pleased you asked. Lucky. The worse part is they keep pairing him up with other blind people. When asked whether they should at least warn the person they answer was no. They said this was because if they get nervous so does the dog. And that's when things go wrong.
How did the spaghetti get into college?
He pasta test!
Q: What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder and got a little Behind in his work?
LOL--good ones, everybody!
Here's another for you:
Q. What was the nun doing on the nude beach?
A. She kicked her habit.
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