SO there was this guy jack, who stumbled upon a genie bottle on his way home from work. He rubbed it three times and a magic genie appeared.
The genie asked the him if he was married and he replied yes.
The genie then proceeded to tell him that he would grant him any three wishes he desire, however what ever he wishes for his wife gets double.
Jack mulled it over an then came up with his wishes he said. " Magic genie I wish I had a billion dollars". The genie replied as you wish but your wife gets two billion dollars.
Jack then said."Magic genie for my second wish I would like a huge mansion". The genie replied. " As you wish your wife will get two.
Jack proceeded on to his last wish he said." Magic genie I wish I to get beaten half to death.
Duck and chicken standing by the road.
Chicken turns to the duck.
"Don't cross it. You'll never hear the bloody end of it."
Two elderly couples were good friends and one night they were having dinner at one of their houses. After the meal the women went into the kitchen and the two old men were talking. One said;
"Last night me and the wife went to this great restaraunt. The food was excellent and the service was the best."
"What was the name of the restaraunt?" asked his friend.
"Oh! ..Umm, What's the name of that flower, you know it's red, got thorns, you give it to someone you love."
His friend said "You mean a Rose?"
"That's it" he said and turning to the kitchen he called out "Rose! what was the name of the restaraunt we went to last night?"
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