10 Pieces of Advice for Grandparents-to-Be
To learn you will be a grandparent brings a whole new meaning to life. It kind of changes everything! Aside from the obvious joy of a new little person to adore, it can also change your relationship with your child. How can we nurture and grow that relationship?
"If I had known how wonderful grandchildren would be, I'd have had them first!"~Lois Wyse
Being a grandparent trumps being a Parent
I cannot say how many times I have heard:
"If I could have bypassed parenting and gone straight to grandparenting, I would have done it."
" Being a grandparent is so much better than being a parent."
It is so very hard for me to imagine that because being a parent has been my greatest pleasure in life.
It is also very hard to imagine your child having a baby!
Grandparent for the first time.
This past October, I learned that I was going to be a grandmother. Words can not express what I felt at that moment. Joy and excitement mixed with a bit of wistfulness. My baby was having a baby. My baby was going to be a mother! In November, when she made her announcement to the rest of the world, I wrote each of them a letter. One for my daughter and one for my grandchild. For my daughter, I wrote "12 Pieces of Advice for New Parents" and for the baby, I wrote "To our Newest Addition" That was November, now it is March. Our newest addition is a little boy. He will be born in 2 months. He doesn't have a name yet, but he does have a recognizable face. In the past five months, I have learned a lot. This latest article is for new grandparents.
"When a child is born, so are grandmothers."~Judith Levy
Advice for Grandmother's to be.
Now that your child is having a child, it is very easy to slip in to the authoratative mode and tell them what to do. It is not so easy to restrain, especially when they come to you with questions, complaints, fears, etc. But...for the sake of your children and their children, I suggest you refrain from being overbearing and follow their lead as to how much support and advice they want. I compiled this list of ten things to help.
- First and foremost, remember, this is not your baby!
- Second, but right up there with number one, unless your child is still a child, you need to let them raise their own baby,
- Do not push unsolicited advice on your children.You had all those years with them to teach and guide them. Trust that you did your job right the first time!
- Remember that when you started a family, you thought you knew everything, too. You also probably thought you knew better than your own mother!
- Don't make judgements (even when it feels like they are judging you!)
- Don't be hurt or insulted if they don't embrace your philosophy or even ourtright reject it!
- Allow and respect their convictions. If they don't want to feed their baby chocolate, it's not your job to "make it up" to him.
- Try to refrain from saying, "Well, it worked with you." or "You turned out okay!"
- Be supportive, be loving, be their mom.
- Try to relax and just enjoy this amazing experience with your children!
"Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation."~Lois Wyse