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10 Pieces of Advice for Grandparents-to-Be

Updated on March 24, 2013
Mom and daughter talking to baby.
Mom and daughter talking to baby. | Source

To learn you will be a grandparent brings a whole new meaning to life. It kind of changes everything! Aside from the obvious joy of a new little person to adore, it can also change your relationship with your child. How can we nurture and grow that relationship?

"If I had known how wonderful grandchildren would be, I'd have had them first!"~Lois Wyse

Being a grandparent trumps being a Parent

I cannot say how many times I have heard:

"If I could have bypassed parenting and gone straight to grandparenting, I would have done it."

" Being a grandparent is so much better than being a parent."

It is so very hard for me to imagine that because being a parent has been my greatest pleasure in life.

It is also very hard to imagine your child having a baby!

Grandparent for the first time.

This past October, I learned that I was going to be a grandmother. Words can not express what I felt at that moment. Joy and excitement mixed with a bit of wistfulness. My baby was having a baby. My baby was going to be a mother! In November, when she made her announcement to the rest of the world, I wrote each of them a letter. One for my daughter and one for my grandchild. For my daughter, I wrote "12 Pieces of Advice for New Parents" and for the baby, I wrote "To our Newest Addition" That was November, now it is March. Our newest addition is a little boy. He will be born in 2 months. He doesn't have a name yet, but he does have a recognizable face. In the past five months, I have learned a lot. This latest article is for new grandparents.

"When a child is born, so are grandmothers."~Judith Levy

This is our "baby bean"
This is our "baby bean" | Source

Advice for Grandmother's to be.

Now that your child is having a child, it is very easy to slip in to the authoratative mode and tell them what to do. It is not so easy to restrain, especially when they come to you with questions, complaints, fears, etc. But...for the sake of your children and their children, I suggest you refrain from being overbearing and follow their lead as to how much support and advice they want. I compiled this list of ten things to help.


  1. First and foremost, remember, this is not your baby!
  2. Second, but right up there with number one, unless your child is still a child, you need to let them raise their own baby,
  3. Do not push unsolicited advice on your children.You had all those years with them to teach and guide them. Trust that you did your job right the first time!
  4. Remember that when you started a family, you thought you knew everything, too. You also probably thought you knew better than your own mother!
  5. Don't make judgements (even when it feels like they are judging you!)
  6. Don't be hurt or insulted if they don't embrace your philosophy or even ourtright reject it!
  7. Allow and respect their convictions. If they don't want to feed their baby chocolate, it's not your job to "make it up" to him.
  8. Try to refrain from saying, "Well, it worked with you." or "You turned out okay!"
  9. Be supportive, be loving, be their mom.
  10. Try to relax and just enjoy this amazing experience with your children!

"Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation."~Lois Wyse

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    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you, Ebonny! I appreciate the visit and comment! My mom and mother in law both have my kids things I would have never given them.

    • Ebonny profile image

      Ebonny 4 years ago from UK

      No 7, about the chocolate (or substitute as necessary), is one that many have difficulty with. Great advice.

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you so much for stopping by and for sharing this! My first grandson (who was my reason for writing this!) was born a week ago. So exciting! Randi

    • GinaBina4 profile image

      Gina 4 years ago from West Tennessee

      I am a grandmother of almost two years. It's so sweet and so different from raising my own children. My sister in law is about to be a grandmother for the first time to so I am forwarding this hub to her. Thanks.

      Gina

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Eddy, how very blessed ypu are....13 grandchildren! That is a great quote tobe sure! Thank you so much for your votes and sharing. You are so very appreciated! I hope you have a lovely weekend, as well!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Great advice Randi for each new grandparent. I find it total bliss to be a grandmother ;there is more time to play and explore with the little ones.

      I have eleven grandchildren and by August I will have thirteen.

      I love each and everyone dearly and there's less pressure and more time to enjoy. I vote this one up,across and share. Before I go I just remembered a quote I read somewhere. "If I'd known grandchildren were such fun I would have had them first!!" Great words for sure.

      Take care Randi and enjoy your weekend.

      Eddy.

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you, Martin for stopping by. I guess that in addition to letting out children chose their own parenting style, we also need to let them make the decision whether to patent at all

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you, Martin for stopping by. I guess that in addition to letting out children chose their own parenting style, we also need to let them make the decision whether to patent at all

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you, drjb! I appreciate your comments!

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Mary, thank you so much! I am very excited and can already feel the pressure of my teeth on my tongue! How wonderful to have 7 grandchildren and a new one on the way! I do believe they are all great kids because, whethertheir parents were permissive or strict, they were raised with love and respect.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you very me for sharing this with me. I'm afraid grand-parenting is not in my cards.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Wonderful, realistic advice, Randi, and your number one suggestion is the most important - "Remember, this is NOT your baby!" Amen!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Very good advice. My youngest son and his wife are expecting the end of this month..their first child, my seventh grandchild....the best advice is don't interfere or offer unsolicited advice...I can show you the teeth marks on my tongue :). I have been very fortunate and have wonderful grandchildren...some were raised by permissive parents others by very strict parents but it was their choice not mine and as you said, it is their child not yours.

      Voted up, useful, and interesting. Congratulations Grandma, you are in for the time of your life!

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      @ Leslie......I know, right?!?! So,,,,so,,,,exciting!We are having fun planning a shower now! Fun!

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      Whatever do you mean 'it's NOT your child'?? Lol..

      That makes it even mo' betta' yes?

      Now, you can spoil your future grandchild silly - and send it home with his parents!

      i can't wait to be a gramma, but - i don't see it happening anytime soon - if ever..

      sigh..

      great advice, my friend - congratulations on your future bundle of joy..(coming sooooo soon..omg..)

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you, Carol! I so appreciate your encouragement, votes and shares! I agree wholeheartedly...being able to follow my own advice will be the hardest!

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      YOu did a super job and I know much is from new personal experience. Good luck with the new baby. Good advice...and now to follow it. Voting up and of course pinning for other future grand parents.

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you, Susan! I appreciate that! I am VERY excited, especially now that it is getting closer!

    • btrbell profile image
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      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you, Bill! I got here a little sooner than expected but couldn't be happier!

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I want to be a grandmother so bad and I will remember all of these tips that I've read here. Thanks!

      Congratulations on becoming a grandma :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great advice, Randi! I'm not there yet but I'll remember these if the day ever comes. Thank you!