How To Tolerate Obnoxious Children

Obnoxious kids... those little brats seem to be everywhere! You can see them in grocery stores arguing with their parents because they want Lucky Charms instead of Cheerios. You will hear the tantrums coming out of Walmart because Little Junior wants a toy for going through all the trouble of staying awake an extra five minutes because Mom needs to buy groceries. Perhaps you have to encounter this little hooligans at family reunions. Annoying children... there is just no escaping from them!

So what can you do to totally get away from these persistently annoying mini-humans? Probably nothing! Your best possible solution is just to figure out a way to tolerate them. Let's face it, it is us versus them. Since many folks consider kids to be outright adorable, kids are going win every time. Let's just figure out how we can tolerate them.

One of the best techniques when dealing with an obnoxious child is to simply avoid them. The first thing you can do is avoid places that are "kid magnets." A good example of some kid magnet locations are:

• McDonald's Play Land
• Playgrounds
• Chuckie Cheese
• Amusement Parks
• Toy Stores
• Arcades
• Video Game Stores
• Play Areas at Mall

If you avoid places known to be kid magnets, you can definitely limit your interactions with them. If you enjoy going to arcades, video game stores, etc., I would recommend visiting those places on school days when children are bound to be in school, unless they are playing hooky. In that case, a simple threat to call the local school and turn them in for skipping class is bound to turn an unruly child into a sweetheart in no time.

Of course, there are times when you can't avoid children. They tend to pop up at family functions, such as weddings and family reunions. People will even plop a kid in your arms when you least expect it if you are not paying enough attention. Apparently, you are supposed to be delighted to find a crying, fussy child in your care. In this case, you can try to limit your interaction with the child until he or she is taken away from you. Looking as awkward as humanly possible typically means someone will rescue you from the situation.

So yeah, there you are still at that family function, and the older bratty kids are on your last nerve. Threatening them is certainly going to make you look evil, so there is a better way to handle that problem. Bribe them.

Yes, I said it. Bribe the little monsters. Is there candy? Give them some. Is there cake? Fork it over to them and tell them to hush about it. If all else fails, make sure to have change or dollar bills on you. Start with pennies with the youngest of the bad kids and work your way up. You may just have to bribe older kids with a dollar bill or two. Don't tell them it is a bribe. Tell them it is because they are too cool for you and you are paying them to go elsewhere. It really works sometimes!

Here is a fun fact about kids: they are mini versions of us. They are tired and cranky just like any of us, but they are a lot more vocal about it. Have you ever seen a kid throwing a huge temper tantrum in the middle of Big Lots during the holiday season? Sure, your first reaction might be, "Shut that kid up." But you know what your next reaction should be? "I wish I was that kid!"

Yeah, kids are on to something. The reason they are so obnoxious is because they are saying and doing what we wish we could do. They are acting in a way that is socially unacceptable for us adults, but totally fine for them. Admit it, you and I secretly wish we could do the same! That is why we want them stop crying in stores and yelling at restaurants. I also want to yell at restaurants when someone tries to make me eat salad instead of fries. I want fries, too!

Instead of giving an obnoxious kid the stink eye next time he or she is throwing a fit, maybe take a deep breath and appreciate that the kid is just saying what you are thinking. And of course, if that doesn't work, maybe you ought to leave the Taco Bell and throw your own tantrum in the privacy of your own car. Sure, you can't have the fun of throwing a public temper tantrum anymore, but you can certainly throw your own fits in private.

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