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Empty Nest

Updated on August 31, 2016

The saddest day of my life was the day my daughter left home to go to college. She was my best friend, and I wasn’t sure if I could stand her living miles away. I have three sons younger than her, so I still had plenty to keep me occupied, but I missed our fun relationship, always positive, rarely troublesome. Thankfully we still stay in touch, and she now has her own daughter, but I still miss her so much.

Empty Nest Morgue file
Empty Nest Morgue file

When you kids leave the nest, how will you feel?

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I have heard some mothers say how glad they were to get all the kids out of the house. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful loving daughter who doesn’t make me feel that way. I also felt similarly after my baby boy (now grown) left earlier than I had expected. It has been quite an adjustment for me. Now I realize the blessings of having a large family. I had all my children before I was thirty.

I have had to refocus my energies elsewhere to keep me from moving in with one of my children with or without my husband. Speaking of my husband, he didn’t seem to be affected by the children leaving. In fact, he seemed quite pleased that they were gone. I guess our nurturing nature as mothers does not just end when children get to be a certain age.

I have been learning from others who are also coping with their children leaving home. One woman mentioned that she bought a Harley low rider and learned how to ride the beast, although she broke a few bones in the process. An aunt and uncle of mine sold their home, purchased a trailer and move from state to state, finding work as needed and are seeing all the sights in America. A few ladies take big risks like sky diving or doing other things they would never have tried before. Maybe that day will come for me, but not yet.

After my children left home, I went back and graduated from college. It took me thirty years from start to finish taking one or two classes at a time, but I did it. Going to school with students two decades younger than myself was a bit intimidating. The day I realized I would finally graduate was bittersweet. I really enjoyed keeping the cobwebs out of my brain and learning new concepts and ideas. I am still considering going for a Masters degree, but I want to be available to help my grandchildren out if I am needed.

Now I write hubs to keep from having “brain farts”. I am learning so much from Hubpages, and making a few new friends in the process. I also enjoy playing computer games, photography, painting and graphic arts. I enjoy my job working at Brigham Young University-Hawaii, which gets me up in the mornings. I also started a square-foot garden after we moved to townhouse with a tiny back yard. It is very satisfying being able to eat the fruits of my own labor. My husband and I team teach the 16-17 year olds in Sunday School. That reminds me of my children when they were home with us.

To keep from becoming a puddle of flab on the couch, I purchased a Wii fit and enjoy doing the hula-hoop and jogging along with a computerized doll. I learned how to do Yoga and learned what the sun salutation was. So much to learn, so little time. So, for now, until my husband retires, I will keep trying to find more things to do, and then I will probably follow my children and grandchildren around until they get tired of me.


Submit a Comment
  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    9 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    thanks jimcain207 - glad to know we are not alone in adjusting to empty nest syndrome

  • jimcain207 profile image

    James Cain 

    9 years ago from HUMPHREY, ARKANSAS

    I can't say that we were in 'depression', but we did have to do some adjusting. All of our three children are married and have families of their own. We still see our grand children several times during the year and we all get together sometime after Christmas. We rotate between us and the kids every year. This makes that time more cherished. Great hub.

  • elayne001 profile imageAUTHOR


    9 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thank you for green light, liana and jake for your comments. I'll continue to deal with my new lifestyle. Could be worse.

  • green light profile image

    green light 

    9 years ago from Orange County, CA

    Wow! This is an awesome hub! I wish my mother would be able to read this.. She is heartbroken as I am because I have to live in the U.S. to be with my husband and so is our charming son who will soon join me here. Our absence from the home we've shared with my gracious, kind-hearted, loving and beautiful mother will surely be a source of pain and sorrow for her. And my heart and a piece of my being will surely stay with her there for always.. She has 7 children and 14 grandchildren but I am her only daughter and my son has grown to be very close and endeared to her. Now you know why this hub affects me so much!

    I admire your persistence and I congratulate you for finally finishing school. I also would like to salute you for having diverse and greatly enriching interests and endeavors! Keeping busy and productive doesn't just save you from brain farts and Alzeihmer's disease but they keep you young and you get to do and accomplish things that in a way will eventually immortalize your existence here on earth! So keep it up and enjoy.. Everyday is a blessing and continue to be a blessing to others..

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    Love and miss you too mom!!! Someday we will live close to each other again, . . . I can't wait.

  • profile image


    9 years ago

    I love you too mom! Come live with me any time :D.

  • breakfastpop profile image


    9 years ago

    Great honest writing. You sound like you're doing well. Honestly, things are constantly changing. My kids went off to college, came home for a bit, one went back to law school, the other off to the city and a job. After law school, my older daughter came home for a bit, then took off agin. Now I have 4 grandchildren and my life is very full. I don't think you'll have a problem adjusting. There is a rhythm to life that starts to make sense after awhile.


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