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How to Resolving Conflict in Marriage: How to Address Conflict in Marriage

Updated on July 13, 2014

A couple in love

A couple in love
A couple in love | Source

Some causes of conflict in marriages are

1 mistrust

2 suspicion

3 different opinions and backgrounds

4 religious beliefs

5 in-laws interference

6 monetary issues

7 petty issues

8 sex related issues

About marriage

Marriage is a blessing from God that pair’s two different individuals in holy matrimony, marriage can be rosy fun and fulfilling but also has its own difficult periods. Managing the ups and downs of marriage can militate between having a successful marriage, or one filled with strife and divorce.

Divorce is more rampant in today’s reality because couple hardly compromise when they discover that they have virtually married a stranger. The need for wealth and comfort sometimes causes two incompatible people marrying with the ensuring disagreement, problems and in comparability.

Conflict in marriage must happen because there shall be disagreements including external and internal influences like meddling in-laws, monetary problems and others. How you handle arguments, disagreement and conflict makes or breaks a family.

Interestingly arranged marriages have defied logic in the longevity while marriage based on attraction comparability sometimes crashes before they start. The common denominator to longevity in marriage is compromise common goals and working hard to make a success of the marriage.

So complicit is unavoidable in marriage but handling it maturely makes the difference between a happy marriage and one filled with strife, troubles and loathing. Religion plays a major role in managing conflict in the home and is made easier if the couple practice the same religion.

Conflict in marriage

A couple having serious problems and shouting at each other
A couple having serious problems and shouting at each other | Source

4 Ways to resolve conflict in marriage

Things that cause conflict in the home

There are many things that cause conflict in the home some of which are money challenges, unemployment, sex, infidelity, your in-laws and the extended family. Other reasons can be having a bad habit, unnecessary arguments, jealousy, and bitter argument over petty things and suspicion.

Listed bellow is the most common reasons for conflict in marriage

Mistrust in marriage

Mistrust is a very serious problem in marriage that can lead to divorce, violence, anger and rage. Mistrust and suspicion of your spouse in marriage is a very serious problem that should be addressed before the cause’s damage and a failed marriage.

Trust is the bedrock of any union and this comes from really knowing your spouse thoroughly, understanding your spouse’s limitation, desires, wants and character is important. Mistrust leads to jealousy, rage and even violence which have no place in marriage especially against the person you profess to love.

Mistrust may stem from infidelity either real or imagined, hiding secrets from your spouse, lies and deceit. If there is distrust in marriage if not handle readily then the union might be doomed for failure, communication is the key to building trust between husband and wife.

Money issues can cause conflict

A couple having financial problems
A couple having financial problems | Source
 A man hving financial problems
A man hving financial problems | Source

Money issues

Money issues is the number one reason conflict happens in a marriage, money issues can be difficult especially if there’s a lack. Marriage means pulling your resources together to live a happy and fruitful life, taking care of the kids, medical bill and others.

If the husband is unemployed or earns a low wage this could lead to arguments about finance that could spiral out of control. Knowing your spouses financial limitations and contributing financially can reduce such financial related tension in the home.

Cut your coat to your size by making a budget that works and finding new sources of income if the money coming in is too small. Even homemakers can find residual income online and through garage sales or small local business done from home.

Adjust to your differences

Make love trive in the home. A couple in love
Make love trive in the home. A couple in love | Source

Conflict in marriages

Which of these causes conflict in marriage

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Adjust to your differences

Suspicion in marriage

Suspicion can come in any guises which could be based on financial issues like a spouse keeping a secret account or hiding how much he/she makes, cheating, and lies. Suspicion can lead to misinformation, mistrust, anger and even rage especially when a spouse feels cheated by the other.

Again communication is a key to understanding what exactly is going on with your spouse so that you can make an accurate and fair determination on issues.

Marriage is the coming together of two different individuals so there is going to be disagreements, conflict of interest different methods of handling stress and so on. If the marriage is to succeed the two individuals most be ready to compromise and adjust to each others differences.

Learning their spouse likes and dislikes, interests or behavior might help build a stronger union, and `every couple learns to adjust to their spouse differences. Along the line if there’s something to change or improve do it together and make compromises.

A couple praying together

A couple praying together
A couple praying together | Source

Religion is important in marriage

 Indians getting married
Indians getting married | Source

Religion in marriage

Having the same religion helps resolve marital conflicts because most religious doctrines that preach love, honesty and faith might help strengthen a marriage. Christianity preaches honor respect and devotion to each other, by following biblical doctrines a family might grow stronger in unity.

Religions that are based on these principles also have religious counselors that are willing to intercede in a troubled marriage. Having the same religion makes for better understanding of your spouse but this doesn’t mean that couples from different faiths don’t succeed.

Resolve conflicts quickly

Don’t let pride rob you of a happy home each member investing in the union need to resolve conflicts quickly by apologizing when wrong and forgive. During arguments sometimes hurtful words are said which could fester into terrible feelings of hate, refrain from hurtful words during arguments. Apologize and move on so there is peace in the home, keeping malice and unresolved problems might over time spiral out of control so having quick resolutions and apology can reduce tension in the marriage.

In-laws can be difficult

mother in-law and daughter in-law
mother in-law and daughter in-law | Source

In-laws in marriage

Handling your in-laws is a delicate balance between the devil and the deep blue sea especially

If they are meddlesome, annoying and cause trouble in your home. Not all in-laws are bad but the bad ones can be very trying and could be a source of constant conflict in your home.

Keeping them at arms length requires patience frank talks with your spouse and prayer; in-laws can be a real test for a budding marriage.

Focus on issues

Conflict tends to spiral out of control without resolving the critical issues that brought about the conflict in the first place. Derogatory words abuse and attacking each other cannot resolve issues but add undue tension to the marriage.

Always try to resolve the core issue instead of fighting and abusing each other this is the sensible and practical way to solve marital problems. Always focus on the issues when there is disagreement this helps resolve conflict quickly.

Certain topics cause conflict

There are certain areas and topics in each others lives that are very touchy and could cause strife so avoiding such areas only makes sense especially if your spouse has strong feelings on the topic. Respect each others views and feelings on certain areas even though you don’t fully agree with them.

Sex and marriage

Sex and marriage

Sex is important in marriage and using it as a weapon can only bring disaffection and resentment, wives should be submissive to their husbands within reason and follow religious doctrines. Sex can heal and create closeness in a marriage and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Seek counseling

Counseling is important if couples have serious issue during their marriage, counseling can be through a church leader or professional counselor. Counseling can put certain issues into proper perspective. Counseling can come from friends and family depending on what makes you comfortable.

Common sense and a resolve to address marital issues are more powerful than any counseling you might get. So resolve your problems privately and quickly through love understanding, trust and prayer.


No marriage is perfect and all marriages experience arguments, disagreements and conflict, how such problems are handled without spiraling out of control is important. A marriage full of trust, love and friendship should stand the test of time especially if the couple listen and communicate with each other.

Marriage is about resolving private issues privately but I must re-initiate there is no place for violence in marriage. Discuss listen and learn from each other while resolving conflict quickly and pray together his is the key to a happy long-lasting marriage.


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