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Raising Children

Updated on January 25, 2013

How to inculcate values in our children

This is an issue, which has been the area of concern for most parents as their children grow up. It is definitely painful to see the transformation of beautiful, innocent and angel-like infants into rude, incorrigible and (sometimes) irresponsible teenagers and then finally into unruly and dogmatic young adults. Why do most of us get bogged down by a simple resolvable problem like this one? We get so much worked up, at times, that we almost give up trying to change things for the better. Again, not all children project behavioral patterns which can be termed as 'unacceptable' as per our social norms. Then what is that primary reason which results in setting one child apart from the other? Where does the difference creep in and when do we finally get to realize it? Possibly, when it is too late to take control of the situation. As I have mentioned in my forthcoming book (from the desk of a daughter), that giving birth to a baby may be the simplest and a natural biological function of a human being, but carving out a prodigy out of that newborn, is perhaps the biggest challenge faced by many of us, in the tumultuous world of today.

Express love in words or gestures but do it!
Express love in words or gestures but do it!

Power of Love

We sometimes get so much embroiled in the daily rut, which includes taking care of our personal needs and household expenses, that we tend to neglect the demands (primarily emotional) of our children. We keep telling ourselves that ultimately they are the ones who are going to be benefited by our hard work but hardly do we realize that what they need today cannot be postponed till day after.They keep looking at us with quiet and wishful eyes when they see us engrossed in our files, our kitchen work or those long phone conversations (official / unofficial). They silently wish that we pay heed to their small problems (big for them, though), get involved in their daily school projects, help them combat a bully in the school or as simply as watching TV with them in the evening.

In one of my casual conversations with an acquaintance, I was somewhat disappointed to hear what the person sitting across me, at a coffee table, had to say about her involvement with her child. "What is there to think about?" She said. "I took care of myself when I was in school and college and I expect the same from my little girl. I want her to learn things herself, the way I did. What's the big deal?" Although, I didn't respond to her remark because even if I had, she would not have understood. She couldn't be blamed for what she was; I attributed her attitude to her bringing up. I could see why she had grown into a callous, arrogant, spiteful and 'I-give-a-damn attitude' woman. It all depends what you nurture your child with. If you shower your unconditional and selfless love on the little sapling, it is undoubtedly going to grow into a strong, fruit-laden and deep rooted tree with branches of love and compassion, swaying in the air of eternal happiness and spiritual bliss. Imagine how beautiful such a tree would look; not to talk of the shade and protection it will offer you in your old age.

We have always been listening to things like..'faith can move mountains' but I say 'Love can do the same thing and with greater intensity'. It is the power of love which gives an average woman, an unbelievable strength to lift the back of her truck single handedly, to save her child caught up in the rear wheels. Amazing as it sounds, it is a fact. We used to quote such examples (of real incidents) in our law school.

We don't really have to do anything additional or special for inculcating values in our children. 'Love' does the job on its own. It warms the tender heart of a child and opens his mind to whatever good you want to infuse in him. It's as simple as that. Too good to be true? No it isn't. It just needs a bit of sacrifice from the parents, in terms of their time and personal desires. The results follow.

Th simple principle which most of us forget, when we are young and energetic, (when bringing up a baby seems to be more of a responsibility than a passion) is that 'they are going to be there for you when you need them tomorrow...if you are there for them, today.'

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