My ex's Father malested my daughter. I'm made to be the bad guy

1. 56

   attackedmomposted 12 years ago

   My ex's Father malested my daughter. I'm made to be the bad guy
   
   My ex's father malested our 10 yr old daughter for about 6 months. My sister-in-law was there when K. finally broke and told us what happened. about a third of the way through my sister in law began recording on her phone. I called the police and did what I was supposed to do. Even though my ex heard the tape and said yeah its pretty incriminating he still thinks that I manipulated her. How is that possible. Now he tells her horrible lies on me. K. still has not told her dad the truth. she said when she tried before that he wouldnt listen. How do I help her through this?

   replyreport
2. 82

   thelyricwriterposted 12 years ago

   Wow, this is a tough position. She has to speak up. You really can't move forward until she does. She needs to know this is not right and not acceptable. She has to say something. It can be hard to get them to speak for many reasons. He may be threatening her if she says anything. More then likely, she is scared to death. She needs to feel comfortable and secure to be open about this. The entire process has to be a smooth transition per say, no matter how hard it is to controls emotions. Until she gets it off her chest, it can affect her for her entire life and really mess her up. Sorry to say, but it is true. She needs to do it as soon as possible. Maybe have her talk to a professional if she can't tell her parents.

   replyreport
3. 85

   arksysposted 12 years ago

   be as supportive as you can with K.
   you say he tells her horribles lies on me... that means you still leave the kid with the ex's father? are you sure that is wise? keep the kid as far away as you can from him ... you should tell K's dad...
   
   did you talk with the police? what did they say? they usually need some kind of evidence to catch the person.
   
   wish you and K all the best ... it sure is a cruel world.

   replyreport
4. 56

   attackedmomposted 12 years ago

   Thanks yes i have had her with a councelor per DSS but now the accuseds attny is getting her to a new councelor. i dont have primary custody but Joint. She still wont tell them there. She has however told DSS and the courts are taking the case. I pray she gets the courage. My only problem is that everytime she wants to talk to me they say i am forcing her and that I am manipulating her...
   
   ARKSYS--NOOO contact with EX's father. my ex himself tells her this. he says that the tape was incriminating but doesnt believe it happened. Yes i said that earlier. called police. there is a court date coming up. enough evidence to charge him but out on bail

   replyreport
5. 61

   mymarieposted 12 years ago

   You should not focus on what your ex or anyone else is saying about you or your daughter.  Keep your daughter safe, if you think she is being put into an unsafe environment while with your ex, contact a child custody lawyer, you can have a temporary custody arrangement put into place in light of the recent discover of your ex's father.  Support your daughter, if she wants to talk to you, listen and hold her, do whatever will make her feel safe.  It is good that she is seeing a counselor, but stay with one, she will need to find confidence and trust in the counselor to be able to speak the full truth to them; it will be difficult for her to find this if she is bounced around counselors.  Sit down with the counslor and your daughter and make sure she fully understands the magnitute of what happened to her and what the steps are to keeping her safe for now and forever.
   People will believe her and people will think she is a liar, you have to tune the comments  out and focus on your daughter's well being.
   I know it must be difficult with your ex not believing his own daughter, obviously he is in denial, the man that raised him and kept him safe is now being said to have done horrible things.
   Just support your daughter, focus on her.

   replyreport