Some grandparents may not have had experience or experiences of any form of disability issues when raising their own child/children, and now in this new century, they are introduced to a new breed of children with special needs. Can they do it? What if the child/children have a sudden uncontrolled and unplanned tantrum that just flares up on them, what does the grandparent/grandparents do? Some of them may not be as physically strong to help hug, calm down and comfort the child/children. Some may take out their own frustration on the child. There are those who themselves may have had a long day and just tired and there comes the unplanned tantrum from the child/children - what do they do?
I agree that this is a matter of concern. I would hope that before the grandparents' help is enlisted there would be numerous serious conversations between parents and grandparents. They both need to know what they are getting into.
The parents have probably seen more of the meltdowns, especially the worst ones, and so they can inform the grandparents. The grandparents should know their own physical and emotional limitations, and they should talk them over with the parents. It might also help for the three generations to spend a few long days together (if possible), to allow everyone to see what might happen and what can be done if it does.
But it could also happen that the grandparents began childcare at birth or soon afterwards, and over time the child's special needs and struggles have developed. In that case, it is time for a family conference, initiated by whoever notices the problems first. Parents might need to say, "This has become a bigger burden on you than we anticipated, and we have started looking for another arrangement"; or the grandparents should say, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak; we're not as strong as we used to be, and we want you to find the best care available for your little treasure."
Thank you so much for your reply. This is indeed a matter of concern as for some due to financial contraints of affording a babysitter or a younger trustworthy person can be hard, the only alternative is the grandparent(s).
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